How best to honor deceased loved ones at our wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I know you said he doesn’t want photos…we thought about that as well, then we decided to use photos with maybe a candle…that idea morphed into using a wedding photo of each set of parents (both fathers are deceased)…that way we can show them during a happy time…just an idea we plan to use. Please give my condolences to your FH as I lost my dad over a year ago and it seems like yesterday. Good luck with your planning…

Post # 4
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You could have the pastor/officiant say a few quick words while you give a single rose to the surviving member of whoever you are honoring (if your grandpa passed away, give the rose  to your grandma..) I’m sure the pastor will have ideas of what to say to not be too sad, but to honor the person who haas passed 

Post # 5
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We added a line to the end of our ceremony programs that said:

“We remember…

Regretfully, some of our loved ones are no longer with us.
You are here in our hearts, now and forever.”

I know that that made DH’s godmother cry as her husband couldn’t attend due to his health problems. We also brought my wedding bouquet as well as some of the table flowers to my grandpa’s grave the day after the wedding. Originally I had planned to go there right after the ceremony to leave my bouquet with him, but grandma asked me to wait as she didn’t want me to cry on my wedding day. Perhaps you could do something similar if your FI’s dad rests somewhere close to where you’ll have the ceremony?

Post # 6
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@licoricetea3:  I’m of the opinion that weddings should not be memorial services. 

Post # 7
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Zhabeego:  I feel the same way. We’re going to put one chair out in dedication to my dad and that’s the extent of it. I’m not a fan of the “we know you would be here today if heaven weren’t so far away” sign that’s so popular on Pinterest or the big things in the program.

Post # 8
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@licoricetea3:  I think that the single candle is a great way to honor all those who could not make it. My friend did that (her mother passed away at the young age of 50 unexpectedly less than a year before the wedding). My grandmother will not be at put wedding day, so I’m going to include her favorite flower in my bouquet and centerpieces.  I went to a wedding a couple weeks ago an they had a short poem and read all the deceased family members names who could not be there. It was a lot of people- the bride and groom are older and on wedding #2.  It seemed like a mini-funeral and I wasn’t a fan of that personally. Hope that helps!

Post # 9
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know someone who had a bouquet of assorted flowers at the signing table and then it was brought to the recption and put on display.  Each flower represented a deceased family member and the representation was on the back of the program.  So it would say for example: Yellow Rose – John Smith.  And they included a beautiful poem along with it. I thought it was a nice way to honour them without having it super overt.   

Post # 10
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@licoricetea3:  I ordered a sign from Etsy that reads “In loving memory of those that forever live in our hearts-We miss you everyday”. It will be displayed on a remembrance table with flower petals, pictures of our grandparents and my aunt who passed away young. I will also have a locket picture of my grandma on my bouquet. During the ceremony, our officiant will say a little something about remembering those We will also have their names on the ceremony programs. No one will know /realize this, except my cousins and FI, but we’re going to have our DJ play Ave Maria after the cake cutting as a tribute to my maternal grandparents-my grandpa always, always said he’d dance with all his grand children to Ave Maria at our weddings and he won’t be there. 

Post # 12
Member
9652 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@licoricetea3:  I had a memory charm on my bouquet

If you wanted your could have a couple on your bouquet like this

you could make special seats like this

you could have a special memory table

possibly make a display of pictures like this

Somethnig like this….set up a lil station with something in honor of the loves one…..doesn’t have to be a cigar….it could be whatever you like

 

 

Post # 13
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I lost my dad over five years ago ( which is absolutley insane to me) and I couldn’t think of not bringing him into the ceremony somehow. My dad was one of my best friends and the best guy you could ever meet. He deserves to be remembered on the happiest of my days. My FI and I are going to say our own vows, so I will be saying something about him in there. I also think the single candle or a flower on a chair is a nice reminder. :).

Post # 14
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I made memory charms for my great grandma and my grandpa. They were a HUGE hit.

Post # 15
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I lost my mom 10 years ago. It hurts planning a wedding and not having a mother there to help with all of the details. I know she is giving me advice from afar. We are choosing to have 2 seats on each side of the isle just for parents, my FI parents are both alive and well, so it would just be my dad with an empty chair. We decided that we will have someone carry my mother’s picture to the chair and have my father sit next to it, which I know it sounds odd but I want her there so bad it hurts. Its the only way I can think of.

 

I hope this helps. I am so sorry for your recent loss.

 

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