- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
So, let me preface this post by admitting that I am a GIANT, self-aware PITA (pain in the a$$). Thankfully, Mr. PITA is just as high maintanence as I am, and we love each other endlessly.
Before we embarked on a ring quest (together, because I knew I wanted to have input), we had been talking about marriage for months. We had embarked on the journey of designing a ring together, got midway through some serious design conversations with a local designer, and then bolted when they gave us a sneakily updated bottom line cost. When we resumed the quest with another vendor, I could tell that my fiance was getting a bad taste in his mouth from the endless hunt, minute details, and hefty price tags. I think you could call it “ring fatigue”… I don’t blame him. I ended up making a snap decision on a solitaire that I figured I could swap into a new setting in a few years time. Bottom line: I picked the ring, he had lost the ability to care to provide input.
The ring I picked was at the tip top of our budget…. 1.22ct, I color, VS2 (I believe) Asscher center in a platinum cathedral setting (about 3.5mm width band). I didn’t get to see the actual setting before he proposed, but I was definitely expecting less metal in the execution. It turned out blocky, too modern (for me), and not at all what I wanted. A few days after he proposed (with my FI’s blessing), I went back to the vendor where we purchased the ring. They had a really cool setting in stock that reminded me of an awesome ring I saw on the pricescope boards that looked FAB with an Asscher. I figured, boom done, love it. I paid for the new setting, since my FI really stretched his budget initially. Wellllllll….. after months of wearing with the new setting, I still can’t get excited about the ring! It doesn’t look like my inspiration piece, and I think it makes my stone look small (and it’s not!!). The quality of the setting, after I’ve had months to examine, is not that great. The baguette diamond sidestones are fairly included and they aren’t set quite straight (I think this is why I got a good deal on it). Since I am an exceptional PITA, I notice all these small things.
I’ve found some other really cool settings for Asschers online and can’t stop thinking about changing the setting again. However, I have a hard time justifying spending more money on this ring when it could go towards the wedding, a down payment on a house, or FIs school tuition! I feel like I missed the boat on making my ring perfect…. and for a piece of jewelry that I wear every single day, I wanted something I really loved. I think that part of the issue is that I CHOSE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE RING. For me, I don’t really think of it in that special, “symbol of our love” way that you’re supposed to think of an engagement ring. For me, it’s a piece of jewelry that I could swap in/out and change up. I don’t like this… I want to think of my FI and the huge financial and emotional effort it was to make the ring happen. Additionally, we have engagement pictures coming up in a few months, and I would really rather have my “permanent ring” in the pictures instead of one I don’t love.
So here’s my ridiculous idea…. I have a pinterest boards of settings that I love. I would truly be happy with any of them. What if… I tell my FI how I feel (he already knows I don’t think the setting is right). I show him the pin board, point him in the direction of a custom jeweler I have already met with (he does amazing work at a great price… I trust him to do a good job), and let my FI design a setting based on one he likes on my pin board. I’d pay for the new setting and have the jeweler use the platinum from my current setting in a wedding band.
Is this reasonable? Should I drop it? Should I wait a few years? I don’t want to cause my FI any more distress that I already have with this ring business. Keep in mind, we’re not rich and this would be a chunk of change we should probably spend on something else.
So for reference, here are some pictures. When he proposed, the ring looked like this:
And here’s what it looks like now (it’s VERY hard to get a good pic!):
And here are some inspiration pics I have pinned for settings I love that would work well with my size stone: