- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Dear MaybeeBecca,
I hope you got some emotional release just from writing all of this down. You certainly seem to have a lot bottled up inside of you. Finding at least one close friend or family member that you can share all of this with would be very helpful for you. You need to be heard and supported right now. I wonder if some of your sadness stems from your lack of connection with people beyond your fiance. Everyone needs close friends to share with (the good times and the bad).
If you can't think of a friend that would really be helpful for you it might be worthwhile sharing your feelings with a professional counselor or advisor. The feelings you are describing are a kind of depression and no one should have to suffer through that alone. Many of us feel sad and blue at different points in our life, but if it lingers for more than a day or two I think it is appropriate to look deeper and get some help.
I'm truly hope you feel better soon. Planning for such a big transition in your life can be overwhelming but lingering depression is not a great way to start your new life together. I suspect from what you've described, your fiance could use some help too to overcome his feelings of abandonment and grief. I wish you both every happiness for your future.
Hugs
I was a bit depressed a month before the wedding although I think mine was due to the lack of excitement and the lack of help with the wedding planning.
I tried not to focus on the attention; to take mental vacations and try not to think about what was depressing me and focus inside for all the blessings in my life. Even a few moments at a time can be helpful. Support from others, especially the bees can be helpful.
that is a lot to handle all at once. Im sure it felt good to let it out.
I don't have much advice to offer, maybe just to look for the positive things going on and put your energy towards that.... ANd relax and enjoy your wedding!!
Best of luck to you with everything! Hugs!
Hi MaybeeBecca,
First, lots of big hugs to you. It's very hard to be feeling down during what's supposed to be such a happy time in your life--I know because I definitely felt the same way. We're less than two weeks out now, and I'm feeling much better, but there was a time three or four weeks ago where I was feeling so blue I was wondering if something was wrong with the relationship, and if maybe we should call the wedding off. We also have a lot of big changes going on right around the time of the wedding, and I agree with you, I think it can be difficult to work through, and overwhelming even if the changes are good, and even harder if the changes are leading to uncertainty, like yours are.
I would really, really encourage you (and possibly your finance) to see a counselor if you can. My fiance and I did a few "pre-marital counseling" sessions with a local counselor and they were totally worth every penny. Sometimes it's really valuable to have an outside party help interpret things/mediate--I know I get stuck in patterns of expressing myself and even though he wants to understand, my sweet FI just can't get there.
Best of luck and lots of good thoughts being sent your way
Dear MaybeeBecca,
It certainly sounds like you've been going through a lot for some time... wedding related changes are, by themselves, huge. In your case, they seem to have paired up with significant changes in your group of friends and work. So basically, almost every important area in your life seems to be rocking. And this can definitely lead to feeling down or blue!
However, as BalancedBride said, feeling depressed for more than a week can point to deeper issues, other than your wedding (such as life goals & purposes)... and almost everyone needs some time and space to think about them. I guess that must be pretty hard at a time like this, so maybe you could benefit talking to someone else, such as a counselor, if you feel up for it right now. If not, I'd say to try to keep these feelings & thoughts in mind and sort them out later. From what you write, wedding related issues seem to be only a part of what's bothering you right now.
I guess my best advice is to try not to feel bad for feeling depressed... everyone has the right to feel sadder or more depressed at certain times, and there's no rule stating brides have to be happy and excited all of the time. Sometimes our own expectations are set so high that it's tough to enjoy what we've got!
A huge hug and good luck! I hope this last month turns out better! 
First, Counseling is Always a GREAT IDEA. I completely recommend it. A counselor may be able to help you determine if you are depressed for a particular reason of if you are just experiencing a chemical imbalance that is out of your control. Also, try exercising to boost your energy which will positively effect your mood.
Second, In response to your Ministry. I'm not sure what kind of Ministry work you do, but do not be too disheartened that people you know are moving on. Look at it as an opportunity to touch the lives of new people as they enter into your Ministry. And hopefully you can stay in contact with your friends that are moving away.
Finally, though this may seem obvious sometimes it can be easy to overlook the power of prayer and "letting go and letting God" as he reveals to you a refreshed sense of purpose in your life. You are undoubtedly in a point of transition which can be as exciting as it is scary. Prayer can be a great tool in discerning where you are called to be in your future.
God Bless!
I am sorry you are feeling so down and even me myself have been feeling down about life. But there is something we must always remember and it is easy to forget.....
TRUST THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!! He is always there for us and I am sure with all your ministry work he has amazing things ahead for you!!!!
I have to remind myself of that several times a day lately with my health being cruddy, we lost our house and next our car, can't get to the doctors and need to, had to cancel our wedding with people(just be the two of us) and not being able to even get a wedding dress to wear. Some of it is pety but even the little things god cares about. Just gotta TRUST HIM and lean on him:)
I will say a prayer:)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 29 |
| beargoose | 21 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| Ms. Salamander | 18 |
| LammChop | 17 |
| rebwana | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| kat2014 | 15 |
| mypinkshoes | 15 |
| s.renea9 | 15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| bookworm88 | 2 |
| imageeksowhat | 2 |
| rebwana | 2 |
| RayKay | 2 |
| Rivendeler | 2 |
| Ms. Salamander | 2 |
| melisslp | 1 |
| GoldfishPie | 1 |
| PinkPinstripes | 1 |
| allihappy | 1 |
I guess it's my turn to vent....
We have a month to go until the wedding (exactly a month from today). I'm definitely excited and glad it's getting so close. I have a wonderful fiance and am so blessed to be marrying him. Details are coming together well and we just have a few little things to get together. In general, it's been smooth going and I've hardly stressed at all about the wedding.
But the past couple weeks I've been really depressed, not about the wedding but just about life in general.
I've been living and working with a neighborhood ministry for the past year. I felt called here by God and left my job a year ago to devote myself full-time to it. My fiance is involved in the ministry, too, and we found a place to live nearby so we could stay involved. Right about when we get married, though, almost all the other members of the community are moving out and moving on, so there will just be three people left at the ministry house. I've been working with the neighborhood kids (after school programs, summer activities, kids church, etc.) but now the majority of the kids that we've connected with over the past year are moving or have moved already (the depression kind of kicked off when the one family that I'd gotten really close to moved to South Carolina). Nobody really knows what the ministry is going to look like after that or whether it'll kind of close down for a season. I've devoted the majority of my time and energy to the ministry this past year and now I don't even know what I'm going to be doing. I plan on looking for a part time job after we get married, but I feel like I can't really grasp hold of much of anything in my life. I'm scrambling to hold onto some kind of purpose, some vision or goal I'm working towards, but really feeling a bit lost. I feel like I've lost hold of what I'm here for.
Oh, and along with that, my best friend has doesn't think I should be getting married yet (though she said she'll support me whatever I do) and I'm feeling more and more distant from her and most of my other friends (most of whom are single still). One of them called me this week to share how hurt she was that I'd been distant this past year. I feel like I've failed them in being so busy with ministry and wedding planning this past year. But I also feel like I can't talk about the wedding or my relationship with a lot of them, because they disapproved of the relationship in the beginning (my fiance was engaged with one of the girls in our circle of friends at one point and several of them feel like I shouldn't have dated or gotten engaged to him because of that). My fiance is wonderful and my best friend, but sometimes I feel lonely not being very connected with anyone else.
I've tried talking to my fiance about it a couple times, but he doesn't understand why I'm depressed and why it's not enough to just be looking forward to the wedding. I tried to explain tha tI'm just struggling to navigate all the changes, but usually he ends up feeling hurt and afraid that I don't want to be with him anymore and am going to leave him (which I'm not, ever). His mom left when he was a baby and so he's struggled a lot with fear of abandonment, and his dad died in January, so he gets hurt really easily and we've had to wrestle through a lot of emotional stuff.
I feel like I should be able to just shake it off and look forward to whatever comes next (because I do believe it will be good), but I'm having trouble sorting through all these emotions. I'm hoping that I just need a little time to adjust to all the changes and get refocused. I don't want to start my marriage depressed.
So bleh....there's my vent. Has anyone else gotten depressed shortly before your wedding? What did you do?