(Closed) How can a girl be depressed a month before their wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Dear MaybeeBecca,

I hope you got some emotional release just from writing all of this down.  You certainly seem to have a lot bottled up inside of you.   Finding at least one close friend or family member that you can share all of this with would be very helpful for you.  You need to be heard and supported right now.  I wonder if some of your sadness stems from your lack of connection with people beyond your fiance.  Everyone needs close friends to share with (the good times and the bad).  

If you can’t think of a friend that would really be helpful for you it might be worthwhile sharing your feelings with a professional counselor or advisor.  The feelings you are describing are a kind of depression and no one should have to suffer through that alone.  Many of us feel sad and blue at different points in our life, but if it lingers for more than a day or two I think it is appropriate to look deeper and get some help.  

I’m truly hope you feel better soon.  Planning for such a big transition in your life can be overwhelming but  lingering depression is not a great way to start your new life together.  I suspect from what you’ve described, your fiance could use some help too to overcome his feelings of abandonment and grief.  I wish you both every happiness for your future.

Hugs

 

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I was a bit depressed a month before the wedding although I think mine was due to the lack of excitement and the lack of help with the wedding planning.

 I tried not to focus on the attention; to take mental vacations and try not to think about what was depressing me and focus inside for all the blessings in my life. Even a few moments at a time can be helpful. Support from others, especially the bees can be helpful.

Post # 5
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

that is a lot to handle all at once.  Im sure it felt good to let it out.  

I don’t have much advice to offer, maybe just to look for the positive things going on and put your energy towards that….  ANd relax and enjoy your wedding!!

Best of luck to you with everything!  Hugs! 

Post # 6
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hi MaybeeBecca,

 First, lots of big hugs to you. It’s very hard to be feeling down during what’s supposed to be such a happy time in your life–I know because I definitely felt the same way. We’re less than two weeks out now, and I’m feeling much better, but there was a time three or four weeks ago where I was feeling so blue I was wondering if something was wrong with the relationship, and if maybe we should call the wedding off. We also have a lot of big changes going on right around the time of the wedding, and I agree with you, I think it can be difficult to work through, and overwhelming even if the changes are good, and even harder if the changes are leading to uncertainty, like yours are.

I would really, really encourage you (and possibly your finance) to see a counselor if you can. My fiance and I did a few "pre-marital counseling" sessions with a local counselor and they were totally worth every penny. Sometimes it’s really valuable to have an outside party help interpret things/mediate–I know I get stuck in patterns of expressing myself and even though he wants to understand, my sweet FI just can’t get there.

 Best of luck and lots of good thoughts being sent your way

Post # 7
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Dear MaybeeBecca,

It certainly sounds like you’ve been going through a lot for some time… wedding related changes are, by themselves, huge. In your case, they seem to have paired up with significant changes in your group of friends and work. So basically, almost every important area in your life seems to be rocking. And this can definitely lead to feeling down or blue!

However, as BalancedBride said, feeling depressed for more than a week can point to deeper issues, other than your wedding (such as life goals & purposes)… and almost everyone needs some time and space to think about them. I guess that must be pretty hard at a time like this, so maybe you could benefit talking to someone else, such as a counselor, if you feel up for it right now. If not, I’d say to try to keep these feelings & thoughts in mind and sort them out later. From what you write, wedding related issues seem to be only a part of what’s bothering you right now.

I guess my best advice is to try not to feel bad for feeling depressed… everyone has the right to feel sadder or more depressed at certain times, and there’s no rule stating brides have to be happy and excited all of the time. Sometimes our own expectations are set so high that it’s tough to enjoy what we’ve got!

A huge hug and good luck! I hope this last month turns out better!

Post # 8
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

First, Counseling is Always a GREAT IDEA. I completely recommend it. A counselor may be able to help you determine if you are depressed for a particular reason of if you are just experiencing a chemical imbalance that is out of your control. Also, try exercising to boost your energy which will positively effect your mood.

Second, In response to your Ministry. I’m not sure what kind of Ministry work you do, but do not be too disheartened that people you know are moving on. Look at it as an opportunity to touch the lives of new people as they enter into your Ministry. And hopefully you can stay in contact with your friends that are moving away.

Finally, though this may seem obvious sometimes it can be easy to overlook the power of prayer and "letting go and letting God" as he reveals to you a refreshed sense of purpose in your life. You are undoubtedly in a point of transition which can be as exciting as it is scary. Prayer can be a great tool in discerning where you are called to be in your future.

 God Bless! 

Post # 9
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am sorry you are feeling so down and even me myself have been feeling down about life. But there is something we must always remember and it is easy to forget…..

TRUST THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!! He is always there for us and I am sure with all your ministry work he has amazing things ahead for you!!!!

I have to remind myself of that several times a day lately with my health being cruddy, we lost our house and next our car, can’t get to the doctors and need to, had to cancel our wedding with people(just be the two of us) and not being able to even get a wedding dress to wear. Some of it is pety but even the little things god cares about. Just gotta TRUST HIM and lean on him:)

I will say a prayer:)

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