First off (( HUGS )) to your room-mate. Getting this type of news is neither pleasant or easy.
I had a GF in college who got herpes… YES it did change her life.
BUT surprisinly in a positive way (because she’ll meet a man who TRULY LOVES HER, and despite the Herpes, wants to be with her all the same)
Like @eeniebeans: said, love (and motherhood) is still very much a possibility / reality.
The thing is she now needs to educate fully on what she is dealing with. As someone else said, Herpes is something that comes in cycles… and there is medication to control the cycles (and the outbreaks when necessary)
Some people have more outbreaks than others… some people rarely have an outbreak at all (we are talking months & years between them). Chances of being one of those IMPROVE GREATLY when one gets medical assitance, takes the situation seriously, and follows medical advice / directions.
As I understand it one has to be aware of their body all the time… but one is only truly 100% contageous when there is a full-blown outbreak happening. You learn to adjust (not to say that you cannot be lax or non-contageous the rest of the time, but chances are less likely)
There is a stigma associated with the word STD for sure… but there is a very high percentage of the population who has Herpes. People just don’t hang up a sign and say “I’m the one”
If she gets good treatment, she’ll also be told about support groups for people living with Herpes (be that in person, or on-line). In this case she’ll meet people she can talk to about her fears, concerns and learn management techniques… and YES even learn how they deal with the TRUTH of telling others effectively.
And that there is hope… and a life (a great life) possible after contracting Herpes
She’ll probably find that her dating techniques will change in the future… as she’ll not necessarily want to share this info with everyone… BUT that isn’t a bad thing. It means she’ll be dating with her HEAD more than her HEART in the beginning which will protect her from getting involved with folks who don’t have her best interest in mind (and she’ll be doing the same, having their best interests in mind)
The right guy… will fall in love with her because of WHO SHE IS… and won’t be so bothered by what she has. Herpes is an illness / challenge for sure just like many other conditions that people face every day. People who far greater challenges than this one meet people, fall in love, have a life, raise a family, etc.
And so will she.
It is overwhelming NOW only because it is soooo new to her.
In time it won’t be… also because she’ll know how to deal with it, and keep it in check.
She will get thru this. Tell her to hang in there. Education is her best weapon in the fight she is facing.
Please pass along these (( HUGS )) to her… and tell her to hang in there. This isn’t really an ending… just a new beginning.