(Closed) How can I make the wedding more “relaxed”?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

The invitations and website will be your first step to let guests know that it’s not a suit and tie networking luncheon or something. Choose an invitation suite that sets the tone that you’re looking for and it’ll translate to guests.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you could start setting the tone with your invitations. Maybe try to skip the formal “Mr & Mrs John and Jane Doe invite you to the wedding of their daughter Angela 83…..” and do more of a “Together with our families” or something like this:

I would put something like “Dinner, drinks and general merriment to follow” or something light and sparkly like that to keep the tone upbeat.

For your actual venue, pick flowers that are more casual. So many bunches of wildflowers or sunflowers. Don’t get big heavy centrepieces full of roses, etc. You may want to consider putting out boardgames and things like that for people to play (I found a bunch of wooden puzzles, etc at Value Village that I’m putting out). Maybe see if you could do a BBQ style or buffet meal rather than a formal sit down with the “traditional” meal choices.

 

Post # 5
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I found a basket at Michaels that was in our wedding color, had a liner, and on the front said “RELAX”.  I hand tied together with ribbon about 15 pairs of flip flops (for a wedding with 150 guests).  Everyone (even those in suits) grabbed a pair and wore them.  I wish I had bought more because people were asking for them. 

My FIL changed out of his suit and into jeans for the reception.  It was not a big deal at all.  He was more comfortable and actually stayed the entire time (which was a big surprise). 

I wouldn’t really worry about it being “about you”.  Ours turned into the same kind of thing and it wasn’t a big deal at all.  At the actual wedding you will be so busy and distracted you wont care all those extra people are there having a “reuinion” Everyone knows you are the bride and its about you and your FI getting married. 

Post # 6
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

I think the earlier in the afternoon the more relaxed it might be, people tend to get more gussied up for evening affairs.  Also, def no black tie.

This might be a bad idea…..but I have been to a wedding where they had drinks for 1/2 hour or so before the wedding started and well drinks help people relax. 

Music is another thing that people will get cues from

And I agree with the others about invites and the website being cues as well.

Post # 8
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with the previous posts in regards to invitations. Also, how about music. I started to feel that my wedding was getting way to formal so I hired a Caribbean steel drum band for cocktail hour and am having past mojitos. I thought this would add a little relaxed summer feel.

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think instead of saying “no ____” it has a negative tone to it, so how about “Flip flops encouraged” or almost having a sort of “theme” like hawaiian shirts or beach hats or something like that? I would try to put your informal dress code in a positive tone.

Post # 10
Member
5757 posts
Bee Keeper

I think when people see the location, they will dress themselves accordingly. If they are mostly suit and tie people,that’s what they’ll wear. Once there,they may loosen up a little and remove their jackets and ties,but it IS a wedding afterall. I’m not sure if you’d be happy if people showed up in outfits they’d wear to a sporting event or shopping at the mall either.

Each of my daughter’s had completely different wedding venues,and still people asked what others were wearing. I thought the one, at a Sheraton ballroom would have suggested attire to them,but evidently not. Invites were kind of middle of the road in terms of design and style, but we still had a few ask if a sundress and flipflops would be OK to wear. Huh? Because it was in late June you don’t know what to wear to a wedding?

We expected questions for the other wedding being held at a yacht club at the beach, but no one came dressed extrememly casually, except for one woman who wore long shorts and a shirt. Jackets & ties on all but one or two men and dresses on all the women save the one.

You can try to convey what it will be like (or how you want it to be) but people see a wedding invitation and usually know its an ‘event’. Other than word of mouth about it,they won’t really know how informal it will be until they arrive. If that’s what you want,I guess your best bet will be to spread the word through family and friends.

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