How can I politely tell them “no more goats?”

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Member
10016 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I don’t think you can really dictate what, if any, gifts people get you at this point as you haven’t voiced another preference.

Member
3033 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@KatyElle:  I agree

I’m giggling a little about this. I never would have thought to do this if someone requested no gifts….

Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I laughed when I read this… I’m a terrible person. I didn’t think “no more goats” would be so literal.

The upside is that this appears to be a coworker trend. I have never thought of a goat as a gift, so to the best of my knowledge- it isn’t an enormous trend. I’m sure other guests will ultimately give you monetary gifts though. :)

 

 

Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m assuming you have many other guests who don’t know your colleagues and will not be getting you goats. I think you should just thank them, and feel good that you are helping other people less fortunate. You will likely get all kinds od things, including cash, from other guests.

Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand where you are coming from but I think you have to keep quiet about it and accept graciously at this point.

 

It is both poopy & funny though…I will admit I had a giggle at your expense especially as I thought for sure the the thread title was a typo until I read through…

 

 

Hopefully colleague #1 doesn’t no any other guests outside of the work circle!!

Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

when i saw the title oi thought u spelled guests wrong… haha goats as gifts… hopefully just your colleagues do this and the rest of your guests give cash… do you have  wedding website? make sure there is no mention of goats for less fortunate on it..

Member
3896 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree that you can’t really tell someone what to give or not give as a gift (and FWIW my mom has given my fiancé and I goats, mules, donkeys and a beehive over the years instead of Christmas gifts).

On our wedding webpage, I included a link to a very small registry. It’s like 9 items and I only put it there because, like the OP, we’re an established household and there’s just not a lot of “stuff” that we want or need, but I understand that many people would be mortified to think of turning up to a wedding without having given a gift (my mom would slap me if I did this). I also included a link to buy gift cards from our favorite airline and hotel chain.

And I picked a charity (the animal rescue where I adopted our awesome dog), requesting that, in lieu of gifts, a donation could be made in our name.

OP perhaps you could do something similar: select a charity that you feel more closely aligned with your wishes, and give some non-cash alternatives as well. This way, you’re giving people options, as some find it very uncomfortable to give a cash gift.

Member
4366 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@asianyoushi:  I thought that too, then after reading a line I thought she misspelled gifts. And then I realized that this is actually a ridiculus situation and the OP knows how to spell. I don’t have any advice though.

Member
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Haha oh that certainly is interesting.

You can’t tell people what to get you, or what not to get you, only give suggestions. If someone asks you what you want you could say something like “we really don’t need anything else for the home, and really your presence at our wedding is all we ask, but if you would really like to give us some kind of gift, we’re looking at re-doing our kitchen/*insert random thing here* and so any assistance would be greatly appreciated”. I’m sure you could word it better, but I’d just offer it as an idea, rather than say “instead of goats we’d like cash” :)

Member
3426 posts
Sugar bee

Oh wow.  How generous, but a little odd.  Like PPs I did have a little giggle but I agree you kind of have to accept it at this point.  That sucks.

I know some people buy a gift from the registry and “pay for their plate” maybe this will be the case?  But I don’t think the practise is common here (in the UK)

On another funny note I know someone who told every guest at a friends wedding that all the couple wanted was a toaster.  So they ALL bought toasters.  But they did also bring “real” gifts too.

Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Bwahaha I nominate this for the best thread in Weddingbee history. I know it’s probably cold comfort right now, but these goats are the gift that keeps on giving. Truly. 25 years from now you will still be telling this story, and it’ll be sooo much better than an extra $100. I suggest starting a tradition of toasting the goats and their descendants at every anniversary.

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