Post # 1
We did not write any information on our reception invites regarding gifts. Nor did we register anywhere as we have lived together for 4 years and neither want nor have the space for anything else. When I handed the invites out on Monday to the 5 colleagues i’m inviting, the first asked me if we’d registered. I said no and explained we didn’t need anything for our house. She said she would like to bring a gift and I didn’t want to say ‘well the only thing we could really use is cash’ so I just repeated that we didn’t need things for our house…so an hour later she finds me and tells me she was going to pay for 2 goats to be given to a farmer in Africa on our behalf (there’s a website where you can register for such gifts).
Now, I know i’m not going to come off awfully well here….I thought that actually this is a lovely idea. I was not going to say to her that we would prefer cash, so I said thank you very much, gave her a hug and went off. 2 hours later colleagues no. 2 and no.3 come to tell me that colleague no.1 has advised them that FI and love the idea of charitable gifts and so they are planning to purchase more goats….and a water well! I honestly think this is a lovely idea. However, (I feel embarrassed writing this bit) I would actually prefer a monetary gift. I’m a little peeved at colleague no.1 for spreading the goat idea. So…if colleagues no.4 and no.5 come to speak to me…can I politely tell them ‘no more goats please, or should I just keep schtum?
Post # 3
I don’t think you can really dictate what, if any, gifts people get you at this point as you haven’t voiced another preference.
Post # 4
@KatyElle: I agree
I’m giggling a little about this. I never would have thought to do this if someone requested no gifts….
Post # 5
I laughed when I read this… I’m a terrible person. I didn’t think “no more goats” would be so literal.
The upside is that this appears to be a coworker trend. I have never thought of a goat as a gift, so to the best of my knowledge- it isn’t an enormous trend. I’m sure other guests will ultimately give you monetary gifts though. 🙂
Post # 6
I’m assuming you have many other guests who don’t know your colleagues and will not be getting you goats. I think you should just thank them, and feel good that you are helping other people less fortunate. You will likely get all kinds od things, including cash, from other guests.
Post # 7
I understand where you are coming from but I think you have to keep quiet about it and accept graciously at this point.
It is both poopy & funny though…I will admit I had a giggle at your expense especially as I thought for sure the the thread title was a typo until I read through…
Hopefully colleague #1 doesn’t no any other guests outside of the work circle!!
Post # 8
when i saw the title oi thought u spelled guests wrong… haha goats as gifts… hopefully just your colleagues do this and the rest of your guests give cash… do you have wedding website? make sure there is no mention of goats for less fortunate on it..
Post # 9
I agree that you can’t really tell someone what to give or not give as a gift (and FWIW my mom has given my fiancÃ© and I goats, mules, donkeys and a beehive over the years instead of Christmas gifts).
On our wedding webpage, I included a link to a very small registry. It’s like 9 items and I only put it there because, like the OP, we’re an established household and there’s just not a lot of “stuff” that we want or need, but I understand that many people would be mortified to think of turning up to a wedding without having given a gift (my mom would slap me if I did this). I also included a link to buy gift cards from our favorite airline and hotel chain.
And I picked a charity (the animal rescue where I adopted our awesome dog), requesting that, in lieu of gifts, a donation could be made in our name.
OP perhaps you could do something similar: select a charity that you feel more closely aligned with your wishes, and give some non-cash alternatives as well. This way, you’re giving people options, as some find it very uncomfortable to give a cash gift.
Post # 10
@asianyoushi: I thought that too, then after reading a line I thought she misspelled gifts. And then I realized that this is actually a ridiculus situation and the OP knows how to spell. I don’t have any advice though.
Post # 11
I’m not trying to dictate what people give me…I keep hearing on here how rude it is to request cash gifts so to avoid offending anyone, we didn’t mention a thing! I couldn’t state any other preference, as I don’t have one. I do think the gifts are a great idea…I just, albeit entirely selfishly, don’t want to inadvertently spread the word that all I want is charitable gifts :/ Work colleagues know alot of my other freinds as we’re all involved in similar work.
EDIT: I do understand I can’t really tell people not to get any more goats!
Post # 12
Haha oh that certainly is interesting.
You can’t tell people what to get you, or what not to get you, only give suggestions. If someone asks you what you want you could say something like “we really don’t need anything else for the home, and really your presence at our wedding is all we ask, but if you would really like to give us some kind of gift, we’re looking at re-doing our kitchen/*insert random thing here* and so any assistance would be greatly appreciated”. I’m sure you could word it better, but I’d just offer it as an idea, rather than say “instead of goats we’d like cash” 🙂
Post # 13
Yeah, I guess this is what i’m after…suggestions on how to give a suggestion to someone who’s directly asking what to give us….It makes me feel really uncomfortable implying we want a monetary gift. At least these are good gifts to people who need something. It would be worse if she’d spread the news I absolutely love plastic fruit bowls or something!
Post # 14
Oh wow. How generous, but a little odd. Like PPs I did have a little giggle but I agree you kind of have to accept it at this point. That sucks.
I know some people buy a gift from the registry and “pay for their plate” maybe this will be the case? But I don’t think the practise is common here (in the UK)
On another funny note I know someone who told every guest at a friends wedding that all the couple wanted was a toaster. So they ALL bought toasters. But they did also bring “real” gifts too.
Post # 15
Bwahaha I nominate this for the best thread in Weddingbee history. I know it’s probably cold comfort right now, but these goats are the gift that keeps on giving. Truly. 25 years from now you will still be telling this story, and it’ll be sooo much better than an extra $100. I suggest starting a tradition of toasting the goats and their descendants at every anniversary.
Post # 16
Lol…you’d probably make a good return on ebay selling toasters in bulk!
I actually like the gift idea….and she seemed really excited about it too..I just wish I had a better way of directing people as to the kind of gift we’d prefer when they ask!
Some guy somewhere in Africa is gonna have a great time the day of our wedding lol