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oh i'm sorry you're feeling anxious! i had a friend who felt the same way. it was really hard for her to think about being the center of the attention and being the hostess. all i can say is that when the wedding did arrive, the anxiety completely disappeared. she was having a good time because she was surrounded by family and friends and getting married to a great guy--thoughts of playing a hostess role or being the center of attention didn't come up at all. afterwards she said she wished she hadn't worried so much about things that didn't actually happen! i know that's easier said than done though.
and i've been to plenty of weddings where the couple isn't out on the dance floor all night--that is totally fine. whatever you want to do is what you should do.
i'm sorry i don't have more to offer, but i know it's going to be a great celebration. congratulations!
I think you have to get to a point of "letting go" / saying "F it" so that you can really be in the moment and enjoy your day even if a few little things go wrong.
Maybe you can make a conscious decision to go with the flow?
I know it's hard to stop fixating, but you've already put in the work to plan this and it's time to sit back and enjoy the ride as much as you can. It will be great!
One thing I did a few times in the lead-up to our wedding was read a chapter of "The Conscious Bride" that deals with the wedding day itself. It talks about how to let yourself feel whatever you feel during the day - if you feel sad for a moment, let yourself feel sad without worrying about what other people will think. I found it useful to read over a few times, to reflect on what I was about to do and give myself permission to go with the flow. On the day I felt present, mindful, and mostly really, really happy. I recently lent it to a friend who found it useful in the lead-up to her wedding too (she was having similar anxious thoughts as I was). There is a website called www.consciousweddings.com I think which might have similar tips if you can't find or buy the book in time.
From what people keep telling me its best to just let yourself soak it all in. Try to let go of the details and dont sweat the small stuff. Everything will go okay as it has for many brides in the past and many many more to come. I have nerves too, but I am also extremely excited!! And the excitement and the nerves are mixing together into a whole lot of emotion! I am just going to enjoy the last few days leading up to the wedding, try to relax as much as possible and then let myself try to have the best time I can possibly have!
Thanks girls - I really appreciate the support. I will check that book out; thank you. I know it's all in my head, and reality is whatever I make it, so I am trying hard to think postive. I dont know why, but this wedding is just bringing out all my worst fears.
I am the exact same way. When we decided to go with a big wedding, I asked my FI if I start to feel overwhelmed or anxious from all the people, if he would be willing to step away from everyone with me and just hold my hand and breathe. Of course he agreed. Now I know that no matter, I can get away if it becomes too much.. Just remember you arent being held prisoner! If you need to go hide in the bathroom stall for a few minutes, you can, but I bet you will be totally fine and have a blast. Best wishes!
Just let go of all of it and do what you want to do on your wedding day! If you don't want to dance for 3 hours then don't! There was a point on my wedding where I just sat at a table for 20 minutes and ate cake and talked to my bridesmaids! I couldn't dance all night and I wanted to enjoy my damn cake!
Definitely let go of the details. And no one is really putting pressure on you but you. Most guests have known you your whole life and they aren't expecting you to look perfect. These are people that probably changed your diaper when you are little. Everyone knows that you can't be perfect! I'm sure you will feel on top of the earth on your wedding day - I definitely did even though I was a mess the days before it and wasn't even excited for it until the night before!
I feel the same way.. and I'm glad I'm not the only one!! I've even considered taking a xanax on my wedding day but figure it's probably not a great idea if I plan on having a drink that day. lol
@amariem25: Yeah those are good points. I really just want to think about it as a big party and forget anyone is looking at me.
@MaggieGirl: I got a prescription for xanax..a really low dose. It does make me calm, but a little spacey, so I'm not sure about the wedding day either.
@Ngolden1: I have a prescription for clonopin which is similar to xanax and I got a refill yesteray just in case. If you are worried about drinking or being spacey you could always take just a half of your pill, with food and a whole glass of water and take it earlier in the day so that it is out of your system by later
Hi date twin! Thank you for posting this- I feel the exact same way. I really want to just let go and have fun on my wedding day, but I'm not at that point yet. I also don't like being the center of attention and feel stressed about being a good bride the day of. I wear my emotions on face too, so if I'm feeling tired, it will totally show. =( I'm going to try to keep thinking positive thoughts from now until then.
Good luck- just know that you're not alone and we'll be on our honeymoons soon! =)
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My wedding is on Sunday. It feels so surreal. I just have constant anxiety and butterflies about it. Not in a good way. I love socializing and partying, but I hate being the center of attention. I feel like there is so much pressure to be "on", and look amazing and be this incredible hostess and look like I'm in constant ecstacy. What if I just feel like chilling and I dont want to dance for three straight hours? I feel like I'm going to be so overwhelmed with so many people that I won't be able to properly function, or possibly form coherent sentences. I want to change my mindset and I only have a few days to do it. Was anyone else horribly anxious for their wedding?