Post # 1
We just received our first unexpected +1 response today. Our wedding is intimate, 60 ppl, close family and friends. My FI’s co-worker was a DJ and offered to help us on the music for our wedding. We expected him to attend the wedding by himself because my FI believes that he doesn’t have a gf. But today when we got his rsvp card, it said +1. My FI and he have never talked about the money, so we are not quite sure if he will do it for free or we still need to pay him. If he is helping us for free, we should accommodate that, even though it will be a total stranger and we have to remove one of our family or friends, right? I was planning to give him a gift card for helping us out anyway. Any advice on how to handle this? Thanks!
Post # 3
A lot of people, if unsure about whether they can bring an extra, add the +1 to the response card and assume you’ll tell them if it’s not OK. IMO that puts you in a tough situation because now you have to decide whether to accommodate or push back.
I got two +1’s that I wasn’t expecting, and what I did was wait until most of my RSVP’s came back and saw that there were enough declines so I could accommodate the extra +1’s. That way I didn’t even have to bring it up with those guests.
If at all possible, try to fit this extra person in. If it turns out you don’t have enough declines and simply can’t take an extra guest, then just tell FI’s coworker that you’re sorry you weren’t able to invite him to bring a guest, and given your space and budget limitations and current guest count, you won’t be able to accommodate his extra guest.
Post # 4
Im in Vienna too! 🙂 Not getting married here but live a mile from Tysons! Anyways I would wait until you see what your numbers are like the other poster said. If you have room to accommodate the +1 then go for it and if not then you will just have to politely say that you don’t have the space!
Post # 5
I agree with the other posters that you should wait it out and see if you can accommodate. In the meantime, though, your FI should probably deal with the question of whether the friend is expecting any kind of payment. You never know what some people’s idea of “helping out” is.
Post # 6
Thank you, guys!
Clarebee, it is nice to see another VA bride here. Our wedding will actually be in DC. Hope your wedding planning going well! 🙂
Post # 7
Well if he is doing it for really cheap or practically free, it wouldn’t be too much to ask to bring a date. Now if you are paying full price…no plus 1.