Post # 1
I’m jumping the gun here as I’m not even married yet but I have a couple questions about the first house that you bought as a married couple and it’s closeness to in-laws!
1. My gf’s family has a lot of land in the country right behind her parents house in SoCal. Her mother has a lot of health problems (titanium rod in hip, breathing problems) and my gf wants to be close to her to help her out (which I don’t mind at all) The idea of building my own house customized to our needs/future needs is really a blessing as my aunt had her house built from the ground up in Florida and it turned out beautiful. (we’re in SoCal btw) HOWEVER, I’m torn because of the following reasons: my family is located in NorCal and I am already disconnected to them since I had to move down from NorCal to SoCal for graduate school. I’m leaning more towards building, but i feel bad about “making the final move to SoCal forever” But I like the idea of living right behind the in-laws for free childcare and language classes (my future MIL speaks 6 languages). my gf’s mom has said that she would quit her job to take care of our kids. Also, the school district sucks where my future in-laws live, I would rather live somewhere like Santa Clarita. Also, since this land falls beyond the county line, there is no access to city water, or trash pick up. Residents so far have no problem with this as there are private companies that will bring water and pick up trash for you.
2. How big was your starter home? We won’t be able to afford to build a house behind my in-laws (if that is the route we take)for quite a while, so we might have to rent an apartment or buy a condo until we are stable enough to build a custom
ow big was your first home as a married couple. I’m wondering
Post # 3
We live an hour away from FI’s parents and a half hour away from mine.
Our house is a little over 2,200 square feet with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. While it is our first house as a couple (we previously rented an apartment for two years), we bought it as a forever home, not a starter home.
Post # 4
We live eight hours from my parents and like twenty minutes from his. It has its pros and cons. One pro: I never have to travel to see his parents…so I don’t have to make an effort. That is fine with me. Obviously I would like to live closer to my parents, but such is life. =(
Our first home is like 1300 square feet. It’s stupid.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@otto2008: 1100 square foot garden home. Perfect size for us right now. Would love a bit more space. We don’t own it, by the way, we are renting it. We will look at buying in a few years when we have the money for a downpayment. I think that something will work out fine for you, so don’t stress about it 🙂
We are a 15 minute drive to his mom’s, sister’s, and my one sister’s. My parents are about a 30 minute drive from where we currently live. I don’t have issues with how far away we live because our space is respected (no drop-ins) but I know his mom gets annoyed because she wants a phone call every day.
Post # 6
We live 15 mins from his parents and 2 hours from mine
Our starter home is 2000 sq ft, 3 bed 2.5 bath, 3 car garage, custom build.
Post # 8
@otto2008: FIs parents live about 5 minutes away from me. Recently the idea was brought to me to move into their house after we get married because they plan on moving around that time. I like the idea of being able to move into a HOUSE after getting married. It’d be a dream.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
His parents live across the country, 4 hour plan ride and 3 hour drive to the airports. My family is a 6 hour drive away.
Post # 10
We live on the opposite coast as my in laws. We are about 50 miles from my parents. My husband already owned the townhouse we live in now. It’s 1,100 square feet. We will be moving next year and be closer to the in-laws. (My parents are moving to the same area as well) The idea of building my dream house is so appealing in theory but in reality, I’m not sure I’d want to do that. My dad is a general superintendent (commercial, not residential though) so I’ve got some knowledge about what goes into building and I’m just not sure it’s worth the hassles.
For our first home we buy together, we’re looking at least 3,000 square feet. Much more affordable where we are moving versus Southern California where we live now. Home prices in our area are mind-numbingly expensive.
Post # 11
our first place together (and our first home) is about 1500 squage feet. We live about a 5 minute walk from his mother (we actually share an alley) and about 10 minutes from my parents.
We wanted to stay close because our mothers both have health problems (his – diabetes, 2 knee replacements, foot issues, mine – kidney disease = dialysis, etc.) but we never thought we’d end up THIS close lol
It’s been pretty convenient and nice seeing as both of our moms have had health-related incidents within the past 6 months and they’ve needed our help.
And we’ve had some home-realted incidents that my dad helped out a lot with.
We do hope to be able to afford a bigger home in a better neighborhood/school district maybe in about 10 years or so, but even if we can, we still would be living no more than an hour away from our parents.
Post # 12
We live a 3 minute drive from my parents, and a 6.5 hr (including a ferry ride) from ILs.
We happen to have met in my hometown (where we currently live) and while we did move away for a few years, we decided to settle back here. DH has no desire to ever live where he grew up – he even has a hard time visiting for more than a few days at a time. It’s actually very much like my hometown, but being up north it’s just a WAY different way of thinking/life.
Post # 13
5,300 miles. Enough said! My FI and I will be facing the same kind of decision that the OP is in the next year or so (dealing with bigger distances between families of course). I am letting my FI be the guiding force in the decision since he is more career-oriented and I truly believe that I (and any future children) would be happy in either location.
Post # 14
My family is all over the place – My dad is a few states away and my mom is in the same city as me. His parents are still together and live two hours away from us. I guess I’ve never really thought about how close we would be to his family one way or the either. We don’t plan to move away.
Our starter home is around 990 sq feet. Small but decent. We plan to move into 6-10 acres of land when we get married and then build our dream home a few years after getting settled on the land in the house it comes with.
Post # 15
We are 5 miles from my mom and probably 10 from my IL’s. Our first home together is 2400 square feet but we are in our 30s so it’s certainly not a “starter” home
I just want to say that while I appreciate the fact that you are planning ahead and considering the future, it sounds like your wedding is still 2 years away? And you are posting a lot about things that you don’t need to make decisions on yet. Like I said nothing wrong with thinking ahead but don’t stress too much about this stuff!
Post # 16
we are a three hour drive from my parents, and a 9 hour drive from my FI’s family.
I bought the home solo. It was a short sale and going for a good deal. I work for a firm that does real estate and I knew it would be assessed way over asking price (it did). Previously I was looking for a smaller home. 🙂
We were dating at the time I bought my home and I know he loved it and thought it was a great idea to purchase. He moved in last February. It’s very close to our offices – we work across the street from each other. I can see his office window from our conference room. lol.
The home was a short sale and it’s about 2200 sqft. Every bedroom except for the master bedroom is very small, but we don’t have a family now so who cares. Also a smaller backyard than I would like, but again, it’s big enough for our purposes.
I have a puppy, he had a puppy, our puppies have merged into a pack and we have a 101 dalmation thing going (except without the 101 babies). He got a nice big fence built so they can run and be free 🙂
Can’t see myself moving anytime in the next 8 years. Eventually we will outgrow the house – not because we will run out of room, but because we will run out of yard. But I’d like my next house to be my “forever” house – with a lot more space to build things in the backyard. The house doesn’t need to be any bigger than we currently have – but wanting a big yard is a tall order for this area. Space is at a premium. Also we both live less than 3 miles from where we work right now so looking into moving out is a tough sell :). Eventually we’ll save enough!