Post # 1
Okay confession time: I’m totally jumping the gun here because I’m not yet engaged, but I know its coming and I can’t help but pre-plan a little bit! 🙂
Here is the situation. I’ve been with my bf for 2.5 years and we’ve been very clearly heading towards marriage. Now it looks like he’s going to propose this fall (btw… YAY!)! I want to do a pretty small/inexpensive wedding, and I definitely do not want to do a long engagement. Also, I’m not a summer person at all (I hate the heat) and fall is my favorite time of year. So, I’d really love to plan a wedding for next Sept-Nov ideally.
My brother proposed to his girlfriend (of 6 mo… but thats another story) a few weeks ago, and they set a date in late August of next year. Now I’m worried that because he beat me to the punch, so to speak, I will need to wait until 2011 to get married. In addition, my boyfriend’s mother is getting married Oct 17 of next year (we’re not super involved in the wedding, but there will obviously be some crossover guests).
So, with my brother’s wedding on Aug 21, and my bf’s mother’s wedding on Oct 17… is there any way I can get married at some point between Sept-Nov? I really don’t want to be a “thunder-stealer” at all. It is just the only time that makes sense for us. What do you guys (gals) think?
Post # 3
That doesn’t sound too close to me, but it’s between you and your boyfriend and your brother and FSIL. Why don’t you and your boyfriend talk about having a wedding in the spring? If you don’t want a long engagement, that could work.
Post # 4
I think if you were to do that you might lose some people that won’t be able to fly, drive, take off time for both your brother and your wedding.
But if you don’t think that would be an issue for any of your guests, I don’t think it would be too huge of a deal.
Post # 5
@mary-alice-me- I did think of spring! But, we’re paying for the wedding ourselves and I’m not sure we can get the money together that quick. Plus, while I don’t want a “long” engagement I also don’t want to rush through it. I plan to DIY as much as possible and I’m worried that if we do a short engagement I’ll just hate the whole process bc I’ll be so busy/stressed.
Also, me and FSIL don’t get along. At all. I don’t really care what she thinks… I just want my brother and I to be ok and for my family to not be upset. 🙂
Post # 6
I think the dates are too close for a Sep-Nov wedding. Given the financial concerns and rush of not wanting Spring 2010, I’d put it off til Spring 2011.
Post # 7
i wouldnt put my wedding off for anyone!!! if you have family having to travel great distances then i guess thats a consideration but you know what, when my hubby and i got engaged i was ready to begin our life now and not in 1 or 2yrs from that point.
Post # 8
@oracle… that just seems like forever away! lol
@eloping- depending on where we get married, we won’t have a lot of out of towners. There is 1 aunt/uncle that would have to fly… but they haven’t seen my brother in maybe 10ish years so i dont know if they’d come to his anyways. if we get married where i live vs. where my parents live, most of my side will have to drive about 2 hrs.
i dunno. I’m just impatient. I want to do it as soon as we possibly can afford it!
Post # 9
Well, money is certainly something to consider. We started talking seriously about getting married last May, then officially engaged in October, then our wedding was the following May. Meanwhile, my little brother proposed and his wedding is this October, exactly 6 months after mine.
We did pay for everything ourselves except the rehearsal dinner, but we’d been saving almost a year at that point and had a small wedding. You’ll probably have cool weather through Memorial Day, so that gives you 7 months from now … Let me tell you this, too, if you want to do a lot with your wedding, take a longer engagement. You won’t regret it unless you’re expecting some really big change to come with getting married.
Post # 10
I don’t think it is that close! Each couple has a day not a month or a season!!
The only concern is guest overlap and it being too much of a burden on them. If you are ok with some people choosing their wedding over yours and/or not getting as many gifts due to financial burden of overlapping guests – I say GO FOR IT!
If you think that they will be offended if you just announce your date (some people think having a wedding a month apart is stealing their thunder) – talk to them about it first if they think it through logically they shouldn’t be offended and it could be fun to plan stuff together!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
As long as your brother is ok with it, I think a September wedding is fine. You might lose some guests on your fiance’s side because they’d probably be more obligated to attend the mother’s wedding. Another option is to marry in November, so you’re not stealing anyone’s thunder by getting married before them.
Post # 12
If I had a choice of picking the month between 2 family weddings or waiting an extra almost 2 years to be with my FI- I’d choose the first. I don’t think a wedding in mid-late September is too much. I say go for it 🙂
Congrats on the pending engagement! Isn’t it exciting?!
Post # 13
@future mrs. martin– haha i seriously doubt there will be any planning together 🙂 i will have to talk to my brother about it, but he’s really not doing any of the actual planning, the FI is. And we don’t really speak. We want to have a small wedding anyways so if some of my cousins or something couldn’t come that would be fine. I think all of my aunts/uncles would come regardless because at most we’ll be getting married 2 hrs away, not a huge travel burden.
@latenightsnackin- I’m more worried about my family than bf’s. His mom and dad are divorced, and his mom has almost no family she keeps in touch with. BF has said that he doesn’t think he’d even want to invite his mom’s family. So really, as long as his mom/step dad and sister could make it, that’d be fine. (He has a pretty big family on his dad’s side, so it isn’t like he’d have no family there)
@recessionistabride- ummm YES its exciting! haha. ever since I found out he was shopping, and now that I know he has actually ordered a ring… I am going NUTS. I can’t really do anything yet but I’m definitely trying to do as much research as possible and think about some stuff that I want and timing and such. I’m not really one of those girls who has had their wedding planned since they were 16… so everything is new to me and its a challenge to even figure out what I like!
Post # 14
You also don’t necessarily have to decide the date now. You could figure out where you want to have it (if you haven’t), and then see what dates work best. That could be a factor anyway. If you have decided already, I’d say check with the guests that you definitely have to have there. After that, go what you and your fiance want most.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown Studios
don’t worry about it- I am assuming mom has been married before and i hate to say it but to many guest a second marriage shouldn’t be as big of a deal. but I don’ know the specifics. We are getting married next july- my fiance’s sister got married last july and his brother is getting married next May- we figured july- just two months away was fine. I would be more concerned with spacing your date (when he proposes) from your brothers august wedding than his mother’s wedding
Post # 16
a couple get’s a day, not a week,not a month, not a season. I think as long as you don’t get married within like 2 weeks of the other weddings, you should be fine. Perhaps a late october or early november wedding?
Also, there is no way I would put of getting married by a year just to make sure someone else has a wedding season.
Congrats on the upcoming engagement!