- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Now with some things I can – if I’m the only one shopping, or if it’s something only for me like makeup or shampoo. But if someone else is involved, I never push what I want. Ever. I was at the store last night and had to get an hdmi cable for our tv, and they were all the same price, except one came with two cables. I called Fiance and asked his opinion, stating that I thought this was a good deal because we’re really getting two out of it. It was either GE or Sony and he said Sony just because. I hung up determined to buy what I thought was a good deal. I walked out with his choice!
If we’re looking at linens/restaurants/movies, I always ask his opinion and just do what he wants. It’s like I dont care what I want, I just do whatever makes him happy. I’m doing the same thing with my BMs – I’m driving myself crazy trying to find a dress everyone will like, when Fiance just tells me “just do what you want, it’s your wedding, they’ll understand when it’s theirs”. Instead, I’m still looking, and crying myself to sleep because I’m running out of time.
I feel like I do this in every part of my life. I let other people tell me what to do no matter how much it stresses me out. I’ve never liked confrontation, I’m always the people pleaser. But I am a little ball of stress because of it! And I don’t know how to address this and start living my life for me, you know?
I guess I could have put this in emotional, but its really to start discussion. Does anyone else do this? has anyone worked past it? I feel so pathetic sometimes like I can’t ever stand up for myself or just do whatever the hell I want. I want to be that confident woman that tells people how it is, not that timid little peon who just does what she’s told.