Post # 1
Ok, I am not even engaged yet, but I just have to vent about something a friend of mine said to me today over email.
This is long…sorry!
It all started out when she emailed me at work just asking me about Christmas and what I thought J had gotten me. I told her I had no idea, and she was like “ohhhh maybe it’s a ring!” Then we started talking about my engagement, future wedding. She actually said to me, and I quote…. “Well, ______ and I plan on starting to try for kids next fall, and I know ________ wants her first baby by summer 2011, and so does _______, so it looks like we won’t be able to attend your wedding. I mean maybe we would, but we def wouldn’t be able to attend your bachelorette party.”
WHO SAYS THAT?! First of all, these are all tentative things happening in the future. Second, you can’t come to a wedding if you’re pregnant or have a kid? Third, don’t even get me STARTED on all the things I did for these girls for THEIR weddings.
I’m sorry, I am just feeling like whenever it is FINALLY MY turn, no one will be there for me. But since they all got married on the younger side, they got everything they wanted. It’s just not fair.
That email really hurt my feelings.
Post # 3
oh no that isnt right of her to say that. but who knows the best laid out plans doesnt always come true. and she may regret the words that she say. best of luck with everything. just always remember the people that care most will always do their best to be there to help you no matter what.
Post # 4
I should mention that I have about 10 girlfriends who I would invite to my wedding. Three would be in it. It would break my heart of the rest of them (the ones who aren’t in the wedding) didn’t come.
I know I am thinking WAY ahead of myself. But that email really made me start thinking about it. What if everyone is too “busy” for me when I get engaged.
Post # 5
I agree, that was rude! I don’t understand why she thinks she can’t come to your wedding with a child? I also don’t understand why she went so far to say that the other girls wouldn’t come either… did they actually say that or was she just putting words in their mouths?
Don’t let it get to you. The people who matter most will no doubt be honored to attend your wedding!
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
People are so odd. Try not to think about it until you actually get the “no” RSVP, but it’s a strange thing for her to even suggest now.
Post # 7
This girl is the type who is “it’s all about me all the time”. She was the first to get married out of all the girls, and every wedding since, she has gotten drunk at the reception and talked about how amazing her wedding was. My boyfriend can’t stand her actually, and asks why I would even want her at our wedding, haha!
But, yes she was putting words in their mouths. Like a “warning” type thing. Gee, thanks!
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
That was such an insensitive and self-centered email! I would respond back with something similar to what you posted here. Let her know that it would really hurt your feelings if she didn’t make an effort to come to your wedding, and that it sounds like she’s already writing it off even though plans haven’t even been made yet!
Post # 9
Well, I’m not even going to justify her email with a response. I’m not even engaged yet! When the times comes and she acts like this, then I will know whether or not she is a real friend.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
What a mean thing to say… maybe some residual jealousy or something? Some people have a hard time seeing other people be happy. It’s so odd.
Post # 11
That is just rude
If she ever says anything like that again….CALL HER ON IT!
You don’t have to get into a big fight..but that comment was rude and uncalled for. If she talks like that again….tell her to shove it! 🙂
Some people are so thoughtless and rude
Post # 12
You’re b party and wedding will be better off without that self absorbed pregnant woman, or her crying baby, or her depressed self cause she can’t get pregnant. She put it out there so it has to be one of the 3
Post # 13
I agree with Mrs. Penguin – some people just don’t know how to be happy for others, even their friends. She may be jealous, maybe she’s just a selfish brat, or maybe she “knows not what she says.” I am the last of my high school friends to get married, and I honestly felt the same way that you did for a bit – that no one would be there for me. Turns out, I have been wrong (so far). One of my bridesmaids will most likely be pregnant by my wedding, but she has still promised to come to the bachelorette party, etc. Don’t let this girl speak for all of your friends – I’ll bet some of them would be really upset to hear she told you this.
Post # 14
That’s nothing but sassy. Ridiculous.
Post # 15
Oh well that was B****Y wasn’t it!
I would ignore it – I bet when it comes to your time they will be thrilled and will be there for you even if they can’t drink!
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception
Just to further what Penguin said, sometimes, especially when people aren’t truly content, they try to ruin your joy to make themselves feel better. Try to shake it off, and if she really doesn’t make the effort to come to your wedding, than she wasn’t a friend to begin with.