- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2009
Darling Husband will be going with me, and I have a written list of issues I’ve had the past 6 months. I’ve also kept a list of my cycles to give to her.
However, I don’t know exactly what to say. My last obgyn has me fearful of revealing anything at this point, so I’m glad Darling Husband will be there to support me and help me if my anxiety kicks in (it already is, I’m freaking out badly now and the appt is Wednesday).
I don’t want to throw everything at her at once, but I am so anxious to find out what’s going on that I may end up just giving her the lists and letting her look over them and go from there- but I don’t want the list to sound ‘made up’ or as if I’m exaggerating my symptoms, because I can assure you I’m not.
I have anxiety issues, so I may also be overthinking this- but I can’t help it. My parents (specifically my mother) would often tell me I have a ‘low pain tolerance’ (which isn’t true, but I just get worried that the OBGYN will think the same for some reason, and dismiss me).
This is what my two lists will say, so if any bees could tell me if I need to wait to tell her these things, or tell her immediately, that’d be nice. When I made the appointment, they didn’t ask what it was for, just if it was a new visit (it was), so I’ve been waiting 5 months for this day- which is why I began keeping track of things I noticed and things I deal with daily.
– Painful/impossible vaginal intercourse
– Painful urination and bowel movements (this is constant, but it’s way worse on AF)
-Discharge that is constant and heavy (has been this way since puberty); ranges from whitish to yellow-brown to completely black- no weird smell, but it is painful sometimes.
– Back pain, which is usually dull and manageable, but occasionally there will be a sharp pain that seems to shoot up my back from the bottom up, but doesn’t last for more than 10 seconds.
– Cramping that is constant- not only on my period, and not only right before. This is an every day thing, and often I will have to lay down after moving around for a while because of the pain.
– Vaginal pain/tightening not from sexual intercourse. This will happen spontaneously, and it feels as if someone has stuck a branding iron in my vagina.
– Pelvic pain, same as cramping above
– Nausea? Constantly, and I don’t know what could possibly even cause this. I always feel slightly queasy.
– Fatigue is a big one. I am exhausted all the time, even with a full 8 hours sleep. When I get home from work, I usually end up taking a nap, or I go to bed around 7:30 and sleep the whole night through. Getting up and moving around doesn’t help (though I am trying to exercise more!), it’s not from physical exertion- it’s just fatique/exhaustion/irritability that is constant.
-And, of course, anxiety that stems partly from my symptoms. It’s hard to be confident and want to have awesome sex when you’re worried constantly about pain, discharge, and just generally turning your husband off. (Last night, for example, we *tried* to have sex for the first time in a while and the pain was so intense that we stopped after 10 seconds- and when Darling Husband went to the bathroom, there was black discharge all over him….it was horribly embarrassing. Thankfully, he loves me and it honestly doesn’t bother him, but it bothers me- how can I feel sexy when I feel disgusted at myself and it hurts to have sex??!)
-BFP October 20th, MC November 1st, bled for around 2 weeks (spotting towards the end)
– AF December 1st-11th
-AF January 14-23rd
– No AF in February
– AF March 2-10th
– AF March 18-23rd
– AF April 21-27th
So, bees, should I be up front with the new OBGYN and tell her everything, or wait and see what she says before telling her anything. My last OBGYN would always point out “cysts on my ovaries” but would never go further than that and would brush me off when I tried to ask/say anything. The last OBGYN would mention the cysts every single visit, and the tech (that did my vaginal ultrasound) noticed the tenseness in my vagina and I asked her if it was normal to have painful sex constantly and she said “Absolutely not. I’ll tell OBGYN and he will come talk to you.” He didn’t. I got ushered out and a phone call that all was fine and that I was okay….and then he hung up.
So, I am extremely anxious about this visit now, but am thankful Darling Husband is going with me for support and help if/when I need it. :/
(ETA: Should I also mention that, while not TTC currently, Darling Husband and I did TTC in the past for 15 months, only had one BFP and then a MC? Or would that only be relevant if we wanted to TTC now?)