How did getting married affect your social life?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: How did getting married affect your social life?
    We pretty much stayed close to our friends; there was little or no change. : (51 votes)
    72 %
    We disappeared/distanced ourselves for a little while (a few weeks/months) but ultimately returned. : (6 votes)
    8 %
    We pretty much disappeared/distanced ourselves and never returned. Our choice. : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Our friends cut us off. : (9 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8705 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We stayed close to our friends.

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    Post # 3
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    musicalsteve82:  DHs social life didnt changr but mine did. There was a group of girls that I hung out with and after I got back from my honeymoon, I tried to get together and hang out but I kept getting blown off. There was one particular friend I was upset about bc we spoke on the phone daily. 

    Eventually her and i had a heart to heart and she told me that she couldn-t be around me bc I was happy and she was not. She was not in a good place in her life. Thats pretty shitty to say. There were a lot of other things that were said but that one struck a cord with me. So I havent spoke to her in months. Shes not the true friend I thought.

    I realized who my real friends are after getting married. The people that are with me now are the ones that matter. Its sad that there are people out there like that who cant genuinely be happy for you bc they arent. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We stayed close to our friends. They’re always here. I don’t get the whole “it’s just you and me now” mentality. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Didn’t have a social life before and don’t have one after! Its hard having a social life while in school. We barely even see each other!

    we are very close to my family though and I consider them my best friends so I am satisfied!

    Post # 6
    Member
    795 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I have only found the following scenarios true for me when my friends had kids 🙁

    Post # 7
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We are engaged, not married, but since getting engaged I’ve noticed a certain friend, who has been with her SO a very long time, has been blowing us off fairly frequently, doesn’t want to hang out, and when she does she makes backhanded or confusing remarks here and there. I try to be sensitive around her/not talk about the wedding unless she brings it up, but she’s one of my BMs.

    Post # 8
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee

    This is a topic thats been on my mind lately. My FI and I moved to a large city about 3hrs away from the smaller town we lived in when we met. The only people we know here are our coworkers, needless to say we don’t hang out with them often outside of work. A lot of my friends from the town prior have kids and its hard to find times to talk, so we end up texting or sending fb messages, just not the same thing.

    FI and I have had recent talks about our social life. He doesn’t want or need friends, so he says. He has them and talking to them once every 3 months works for him. He also plays video games on our Xbox One and has friends on there he talks to everyday. He has no real desire to meet anyone new.

    I, on the other hand, am in desperate need of something more to my life. I love being with him, obviously, or we wouldn’t be getting married. I love that we can just be homebodies, he can play video games, I can read, cook, or knit and watch tv and be totally happy with that. Yet, once in awhile I want some other kind of interaction. Something. We have no family close by either, 3hr drive is the closest. So, i have told him I need friends, and he is supportive, yet has a different opinion.

    I have recently taken up running as a hobby so I’m going to see if there are any running groups I could join in the area and meet up and run with them once a week or so. I would love a gym membership to have another social outlet but we have decided it’ll be cheaper for us in the long run to buy weights for our home. I am really not interested in something like a book club, though i like reading. A lot of things cost money too which is another factor, of course.

    I guess I’ve gotten a little off topic here. We are not married yet, but our move has separated me from my friends and its really tough. I’ve moved a lot in my adult life due to my career, so I’m used to it a little bit, but the older I get, the tougher it is to make friends. Especially since we do not want to do the bar/drinking/club scene. That’s always been a way i’ve met people in the past. In fact I met my FI at a bar!! LOL! We are trying to be healthier and have no real interest in drinking any more.

    If anyone has any advice on where to meet people or what activities are good to meet people at, that would be nice to know. Otherwise, i guess i just vented a whole bunch, sorry, i didnt mean to hijack your thread! My advice to other bees, is stay close to your friends no matter what!!!!!

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    musicalsteve82:  The majority of both my own and my husband’s friends are married themselves. So while we’ve only been married a week, I imagine very little will change.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    musicalsteve82:  My social life changed drastically after I had my son- which came before my wedding.

    My husband’s social life (he’s not my son’s dad)- changed coincidentally around the time we got engaged (married 4.5 months later)- but not because we got married- it’s because he got a new job that required him to get up @ 3:30am.  But I think a few of his friends assume it might be because he got married at first- although most of them were informed about his hours/job when he got a chance to share.

    Most of his friends are married- and some have kids, so it works out well.  Everyone understands everyone is busy, but we still at least attempt to get together once in awhile when schedules meet up well!!

    I think adding kids to the mix really changes things- you’re not only dealing with your schedules and your friend’s schedules- but also the schedules of babies and/or children.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2261 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We never had an issue with our social life. We’ve been married for almost 2 months now and nothing has changed. He goes with his friends, I go with mine, we hang out with our mutual friends, we have friends over all the time…. same old same old.

    I strongly believe in having a life outside of our life. The fact that we are married doesn’t mean we need to do everything together. I want my DH to continue seeing his friends and doing the things he used to do before I came into the picture. 

    We have a lot of friends with babies but that hasn’t made it any more difficult. They just have to pack a little more to hang out and we get to hang out with cute little humans too =D

    Post # 14
    Member
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    musicalsteve82:  It didn’t really change at all. While we were dating, we made an effort to hang out with both groups of friends. By the time we were married, most of our own friends knew each other. Therefore, I’d say that our social circle has gotten larger as a result. Most of our friends are in the same stage of life as us (i.e, getting married, having babies), therefore although we don’t hang out as much as before, they completely understand. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3362 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1997

    There’s no option for our social lives getting BETTER! Ultimately, DH’s friends really liked me, and my friends really liked DH. Both were typically mixed male/female groups, even if many of the people in them were single, and we fit right in. Neither of us had to be clinging to the other all the time, so we would socialize together or split so he could play cards while I did something else, etc. And we would sometimes still go out with friends without each other. But us being together and getting married had little to no effect on our social lives.

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