(Closed) How did u deal with ur soldier’s BCT/AIT?

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

My husband ships to Navy basic in July and we’re looking at him doing an additional 8 months of A school following that because he’s doing submarines, so 10 months total.  I am not looking forward to it, but I am planning on taking a cake decorating class, going to visit my grandparents, and volunteering at a local hospital in addition to my regular job.  He is also in school right now and has lots of nights where he is not around, and I am off 2 days a week when he is working, so I pretend that he’s already gone and get myself mentally prepared for what it’ll be like…. every little bit helps, I think.

It is what you make it, I think.  I don’t want to waste those 10 months sitting at home miserable that he can’t be with me.  I will be really sad and it’ll be tough, but I want to have exciting things to tell him.  It’s hard enough on HIM being away… I don’t want to make it harder by being miserable and having him see how difficult it is. 

And, in reality, it’s not a long time, in the grand scheme of things.

Post # 5
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’ve done long distance before, not always defence related (though 1 month was). My best advice is thus:

Make sure that when you do have those previous phone calls, that you actually have something to talk to him about. The first time he left I spent almost a week in bed (pathetic I know) – It made him feel bad and it meant that our conversations were all one sided, I had nothing to say or add. Grieve a little yes, it’s hard and it hurts. But after that, throw yourself into work/study/a hobby. Do something so that you have things to talk about with him on the phone. 

And make his time away a positive thing for you. Perhaps you want to lose weight/get fit/learn a skill/learn to cook so that when he gets back you can surprise him. Setting a goal means that the longer he is away, the more time you have which, for a procrastinator like myself, means I’m semi-happy to see that he won’t be back for x weeks. 

Post # 7
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You just do it because you don’t have a choice. You will find things to keep yourself occupied or you’ll go crazy. You might even enjoy a little bit of separation. I love my husband to death, but not having to cook dinner, pack his lunch, etc.. is sort of nice 🙂

Post # 9
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@healthily_married: No problem! And the best thing about them leaving is the coming home. 😀

Post # 10
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Darling Husband and I have been LD for 2 years now, together for 3 before he left. We have 2 more months before it’s finally over (THANK GOD). My best advice: Keep busy, make some really good friends, make sure you have someone who can talk you through rough patches, and try to stay connected as much as possible.

It’s hard to deal with, but you’ll get through it.

Post # 11
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We went through my husband’s BCT/AIT last year. His were done together for a total of 16 weeks (counting in-processing).

The biggest thing is keeping busy!! I didn’t start writing until I had an address. Even then, I only wrote when I got a letter. That way, I wasn’t writing about the same things over and over again. We’re originally from the area where he was training so, our mail got back and forth much faster than others. Also, the guys had to do 25 pushups for every letter they received (more if it was a package or musical card). One of the girls started writing the day her husband left. She had 3 weeks worth of letters and he received them all at once. It definitely sucked for him.

I worked out a lot while he was gone too! I lost over 30lbs. I tried to spend as much time with others as possible. I read a lot. I went tanning, swimming, running. Staying busy helped pass the time SO MUCH!! Each army post is different, but ours had an amazing facebook page. It was really easy to find other wives/fiances/girlfriends/moms with soldiers in the same unit and we all bonded so much. It’s been over a year since we all met & almost a year since graduation, and most of us are still in touch.

We got phone calls every now and then. It really varied and depended on the drill sergeant’s moods. Sometimes it would be once a week. Sometimes it would be once every few weeks. Just remember that he’ll be in a stressful situation and try not to talk about anything upsetting unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Send me a message if you have any questions or just need advice!! 🙂

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