(Closed) How did you…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4609 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

FH and I have a pretty laid back relationship, so I asked him one night if he could see me being his wife one day. He just kind of nodded his head, said sure, and that was that. Later on we discussed things we wanted to happen in our lives before we got engaged, like him having a better paying job and being almost completed with school etc.

Not sure how helpful that is, but I guess what I’m getting at is if you bring it up nonchalantly your SO might be more open to talking about it.

Post # 4
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 He moved out of his mom’s house in May, and he keeps telling me I should transfer to another store closer to his house soon. Now the only reason why I’d need to transfer is because I would be living there. I’m not moving in until we’re married. It’s a mutual decision. So one day I asked him how soon is soon? He said December.

Post # 5
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Had I known my DH had the ring 10 months before he proposed I probably would have asked a little less what he was thinking as far as marriage. Everytime I did ask he gave me a very vague answer. If I could re-do it, I would have relaxed a little 😉

Post # 6
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Mine was a little easier than most. I’m on a student Visa and will be sent back to Australia in Jan 2014 if i dont change my status. He said he won’t let that happen. So at latest, i can imagine December 2013. I also asked him if he’d be interested in closer than that and he said that he was. 

He’s moving interstate in 20 days also, and we’re having a talk about it all (his idea btw) when he gets back from his trip to Scotland.

 

So, i know its coming by Dec 2013, )in fact we need to be married by then if we want to do the visa thing the cheapest and easiest way) but i’m almost thinking it could happen at any point after he gets back this week! BUT… am trying not to get my hopes up… 😛

 

 

I think start a 5 year plan talk and go from there. 

Post # 7
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

SO is in the military, so timeline/marriage stuff was brought up pretty early in our relationship.  He honestly brought up marriage first, and I took it and ran!  Lol.  We actually are proposing to each other this next month, so we’re pretty open with each other about this stuff.

Post # 8
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

he asked me litterally twice a day for a year before i sazid yes.  the first time was not as serious and we talked about it then.   i just wasnt ready to  be engaged or get married right then so he just said for me to tell him when i was ready.  and i did. 

Post # 9
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We just talked about it. I mean, think of it this way – you want to spend the rest of your life with this person; how can you not trust them enough to discuss that? Ya know?

Once you establish that you know you want to get married, just tell him when you see it happening. Then he can tell you what he thinks. Then take it from there.

I think my FI would have seen himself waiting longer to get engaged, but I didn’t want to keep living together without being engaged. So he was like “ok, it’ll happen by x month,” so my expectations were realistic, but it was still somewhat of a surprise when it happened.

Post # 10
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We talked about it during an argument and i think he said he was planning to propose within the next year to shut me up because when we seriously talked about it again, he changed his mind to asking me withing 2 years 🙁

Post # 11
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

SO and I have an open and honest relationship. I’ve been afraid of getting married for years because I didn’t know if I would be able to contribute to the relationship financially. I didn’t want to be dependent on him. Once I got into grad school and could see a career path gradually forming, I became less anxious. Now, whenever I have a wedding inspiration, I share it with him. We even talk about when we’ll probably get engaged / married. But, he did a good job of bringing us to this point VERY gradually. Kudos to him for being so patient with me and my anxiety.

Post # 12
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

in the first 2 years we talked about it being a possibility of marrying eachother….a few months or so before our 5 year anniversary I bluntly asked when…he proposed sooner than I expected

Post # 13
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

we never set the exact timeline, but decided that it should happen when we can afford a dream honeymoon in europe (around two weeks, in portugal or scandinavia). we’re getting close!

Post # 14
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My SO is in the military, so naturally, it makes me wonder what will happen after he is up at this duty station. I broached the subject of what his plans were etc, and it didn’t give me an exact timeline, but defintely gave me some insight about how he felt about us & what would or could happen should things continue with us as they are.

Talking about the future can be an uncomfortable subject. Sometimes though, it needs to be address and sometimes, just for your own peace of mind. If your SO loves you, he will understand which is exactly what mine said, “These are tough but important questions.”

Post # 15
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee

FI was very reserved when discussing it. He thought i wanted an exact date or something.  So i said “Can i expect it by the end of this year?” 

“This year? SURE thats easy”

So my timeline was in 2012. And he did it half way through. 

Post # 16
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

We just had an open discussion after about a year of dating, even though we’d been talking casually about getting married for many months before that, I needed to know where we stood because at my age (35) there was only a certain amount of time I really was willing to wait. I told him honestly that I really didn’t want to wait more than two years of dating for a proposal and that if we got to that point without a firm commitment towards marriage I needed to evaluate what I wanted. I don’t really think of it as an ultimatum but more so standing up for what I wanted out of life and I also know my boyfriend, as wonderful as he is, is a huge procrastinator and needs a fire under his butt sometimes.

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