(Closed) How did you choose your officiant?

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mr TTR and I Eloped to a Destination Wedding.  We found our Officiant by doing a GOOGLE SEARCH for – Getting Married in ___ (name of location) –

And got a long list of hits.

Then I made up a spread sheet / list.  With the hilights for each entry I found… Name, Website, Contact Info, Packages available, Costing, Extras etc.

Started off researching those that had Websites first, as they tended to have the best info available right off the bat.

Then sent out some emails to narrow things down further… and give them a heads-up on the Date we were looking at.

Could tell a lot by the replies I got… some people weren’t professional, some cold, others warm and welcoming.

Then after having narrowed things down to 2 or 3, we went to phone calls.  That told us even more about “the fit” with us.

And of course, somewhere in the midst of all this… we also checked out Reviews & Comments about the company / person on-line by using GOOGLE

In the end we found a great Officiant who was willing to work with us (altho to be honest we were very easy going / low maintenance… as it was an Elopement and not a full-blown BIG White Pouffy Family Wedding).

We worked out the logstics by email and phone calls.  Made our final payment the day before.  Day Of, they were prompt and everything went to plan… Location, Ceremony, Bouquet, Photographer and the next day a delivery to us of our Unedited Copyright Wedding Photo CD.

Hope this helps,

PS… Lol, not all went 100% smoothly… the Officiant / Service we went with was our 2nd choice (which is WHY it is important to do good research, and keep all your notes handy).  We had originally chosen a very large well known company… but they let us down at the last minute… they backed out we believe when they got “a better deal” for a BIG Wedding that obvioulsy was going to make them more money (full coordinated package).

 

Post # 4
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

EDIT TO ADD – The company we did go with had an awesome website.  And provided us with both Photos and Testimonials for their Weddings (and References we could call).  They were willing to work with us and what our vision was.  We had to option of writing our own vows (they needed them a week beforehand) or going with something from their extensive selection list… we went with one of those.

When all was said & done…

We were married.  They sent in the Marriage License to the Registrar at the Courthouse.  Provided our Unedited Copyright Wedding Photo CD in a timely manner, and gave us a printed copy of the Ceremony.

It was great… no complaints.

 

Post # 5
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

haha dont leave it to the wedding sites to find someone.  I would definitely do a combo of that, and google searching.  I found our officiant on google.  We needed someone who can do a bilingual ceremony and leave out the religion (FH is Dominican, and I’m white).  it took a bit of research, and a bit of talking to people on skype and over the phone, but we were able to find someone who wasn’t too cheesy and was willing to do the type of ceremony we want!  Also- don’t let them rip you off!!! Most offificants were quoting us 5, 6, 7, and up to $1200 for a 20ish minute ceremony!!! We found someone for $400 (we live in NYC, getting married in Northern NJ).  Good Luck! For me, this was the hardest part!

Post # 7
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I asked family and friends if they knew anyone.  Turns out one of my mom’s friends is internet-ordained.  I generally like my mom’s friends; a lot of them are pretty cool hippie types.  As such, she is totally willing to perform the kind of ceremony WE want…the kind that breaks with tradition in a lot of ways.

Post # 8
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@WhatMaeBee:  haha I had the same thought about the robes.  Ours is wearing a grey suit.  tasteful.  He showed us many examples of his ceremonies (ones in line with our taste) as well as picutres of him performing ceremonies (all in variation of a dark/light grey suit with no religious symbols).  

We’re also in that rut- what we dont want outweighs what we do want.  FH and I both crak up laughing when things get cheesy, which I think most ceremonies tend to be.  It gets hard when you eliminate religion, poetry, and all the candle/sand ceremonies from the list.  

Post # 12
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

oh with poems and the candles you will be totalllllly fine!!!!! here is our officiant (he absolutely has the cheesy site, but is not cheesy in person!) https://www.weddingsparasiempre.com/Home1.html

I guess he is just called our officiant? lol – part of why we liked him is he is retired military (FH is in the Coast Guard) and he was very real with us.

Post # 13
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I always imagined myself getting married in a big Catholic church and when we decided not to go that route, I was clueless as to where to begin looking because our Pastor informed us that he doesn’t “do weddings”.

Since it wasn’t going to be a religious officiant, we wanted someone close to us. We ended up deciding on FI’s mentor in the Navy. He is a close friend, and will be able to give the most personal ceremony possible. He is allowing us to incorporate anything we want, but also has his own special touches.

Post # 14
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@WhatMaeBee:  sorry forgot to hit reply on last post..

 

He also said he is absolutely open/qualified to do a secular ceremony.  So, I would look into people who aren’t labeled “reverend” or “pastor”.  If you want something religious, you could also consider having an important friend or family member do a reading.  Also, I think when he said “qualified”, it is really up to your own discretion.

Post # 15
Member
710 posts
Busy bee

I have friends who considered it a great honor to become ordained specifically so that they could be the officiant at someone’s wedding. Of course, it’s a matter of whether the realtionship makes sense for that and whether the person would enjoy that role, but I like the idea of someone who knows the couple being a part of that moment rather than a several-hundred-dollar-stranger.

A dear family friend or some kind of mentor to the couple would be perfect, and what a nice way to include someone who isn’t necessarily family or in the bridal party but who has still been a meaningful part of the bride and groom’s journey to marriage.

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