How did you combine finances once you were married?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
5287 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 

CanadianBride456:  We were married almost 1.5 years ago and just got around to getting a joint account but its just a joint savings account. We both have our own seperate bank accounts that our pays go into and then my husband gives me his share of the money for the bills each month as I take care of all the bills for the house. It has seemed to work this way for us as I was worried about having a joint account and someone using debit alot from the account the bills come from (ahem..him lol)

Post # 3
Member
6013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I closed my bank account and put all my money into his and changed my direct deposit to his. I was so tired of having to write him checks for rent/bills or having to transfer money, etc. I was very happy to 100% combine our bank accounts. We still have seperate AMEX cards though. We have spending limits for each other that we both agreed on (anything over $100 you have to consult the other person) and we both have access to the online account. I don’t have any cons to say about it.

Post # 4
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee

We did your second option. I think the big pro is that I can spend the money in my personal chequing account anyway I want. If I want to buy myself a new book or some new clothes, I don’t have to ask permission. It’s my money, my account and DH has no say. If we combined all our money into one account, I’d feel like I need to ask permission.

Another pro is that everything we do is 100% even. Every month we put in the same amount of money into our joint accounts. If he makes more than I do one month, he still only has to match what I put in. The rest is his money to do what he wants with.

Cons: I have to send money to the joint account once a month. I usually write a cheque. If I were with the same bank, I could do an easy transfer but I don’t want to switch. It’s not that bad, we just stop at the bank once a month on the way home from work.

Post # 5
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m commenting to follow. We are getting married in January and are discussing this right now. We are thinking of having individual accounts and having a joint account for expenses. I have heard about putting in an equal percentage of income into the joint account that way it is fair for both. That is something that we are considering.

I’m also wondering about savings accounts. Do couples have individual savings accounts or joint or both? So does that mean that we would have six accounts between the two of us? 

Post # 6
mscoralMember
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

I like having separate money for reasons stated above – I don’t want to have guilt/feel like i need permission to buy something! If I want to treat myself to an expensive dress and it doesn’t effect my being able to pay the bills or meet my savings goals then it is none of his business how much it cost (haha, then again he thinks $40 is a lot for a pair of shoes so….)

Also, we really like being able to “treat” each other IE go somewhere to eat, he picks up the tab and says he likes to take me out. If it was combined money it’d just be like we went halvsies on the check. 

 

Side note- if you do share a credit card, how do you not spoil christmas presents? I’ve always wondered this. I check my account frequently and would hate to see for example an apple charge that I know he must have made like december 15. surpirse ipad xmas present = no longer a surprise. Do you just sketchily get out cash or do you not care about surprises? 

Post # 7
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

CanadianBride456:  We went the joint account route, about three months post-marriage (mainly because our schedules were too busy ahead of time to both head to the bank!).  We opted to transfer all of my monies into his current account, and then add my name, etc, since the mortgage was set up to be auto-deducted from his account.  That was the easy part.  The hard part was changing all of my auto bill pays to reflect our new account, which took another month.  

Regardless, I am glad we did it this way.  It is just easier for me/us to handle one large account, rather than two or three, and enables us to really see how we are spending the money per month, when I break it down further – to see if, or where we could cut back on.  As far as personal spending goes, we are not overly-frivolous people, so there has been individual purchases that were alarming when seen (which helps!).  AND then, for bdays/christmas – the times we do not want special purchases to be seen, we use our PayPal accounts (which, most everywhere accepts, because I mostly shop online anyways…).  Then, the deduction is PayPal rather than the store it was bought from.  If I needed to do in-store, I would pull cash out, etc.  

To answer a PP’s savings question.  I merged mine into his, creating one account, and now we have automatic bank transfers twice per month into it thereafter, so it will continue to grow from both our added monies.  

Post # 8
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Commenting to follow!

Post # 9
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

CanadianBride456:  We did not combine finances when we got married.  We’ve lived together our entire relationship so just kept splitting things and at the end of the month I write him a check!

Post # 10
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We’re not married yet, but once we moved in together, we combined accounts. We have one checking and one savings that we share. We also have credit cards that we share and we each have individual credit cards. This works for us. In a previous relationship, we did the two separate and one joint for expenses deal, but I always hated having to transfer money each month and keep track of who contributed what. Especially since I made significantly less than him and he still expected me to contribute 50% of the bills, it ended up with him having a ton of money and me struggling to get my 50%. This could work better with a more fair distribution based on income, it’s just too tedious for me. I like having one account that we pay all the bills from and the credit cards that we use for everyday purchases (together or individual). If one of us wants to make a big purchase we consult eachother and its usually fine, no big deal. We do still have separate credit cards so we can surprise eachother with presents if need be. Overall, this works perfect for us, what’s ours is ours, but everybody’s different, some are more possessive of their money and that’s fine, having separate accounts may work better in that case.

Post # 11
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We set up combined checking and savings account. I had direct deposit set up to send 50% of my income to the joint checking and 50% to my individual checking. DH did the same, except 60% went to joint, since our health insurance came out of my paycheck. We both set up automatic transfers to the savings account.

We’ve recently changed the numbers/percentages because we’re trying to use a budget and save as much as possible for a house, but we still maintain a joint checking, a joint savings, and individual checking accounts.

Post # 12
Member
2882 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

CanadianBride456:  We did your option one.   We have one joint account.  All of our money goes in their first, and then we each get $200 per pay check that is direclty deposited to our personal accounts to spend how we want.  It works well for us.  It keeps us feeling equal.  I make more, but have just as much to spend on fun stuff as he does.  Also, if I wanted to save part of my $200 to get something big down the road, that is my option.  For us, it is also necessary to combat some male pride.  It’s a lot easier for him to see that we both get $200 out and that is equal instead of me paying more than him in.

Option 1 also works well for us because I’m the budgeter/planner and bill payer.  DH has given me full control in how I handle it, but has full access to the account to keep me honest.   If both spouces plan to be involved, option 2 may work better for them.

I think option 2 would work better in a couple where your income was very similar.  Both spouces make about the same and are contributing about the same to a joint account, and the amount they have left over for their own fun is about the same.  Where I see option 2 fall apart is where one spouse makes signficantly more than the other, or where premaritial debt (like student loans) is an indvidual part of the budget.  If one spouse has signficantly less “fun money” than the other spouse, it can make the spouse with less money to have fun with feel like either they are constently owing the higher paid spouse, or that they are not allowed to have fun.

Post # 13
Member
7090 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We closed his account and added him to my existing account. Everything goes into the main account. We each have a credit card in our individual names in case of emergencies.

Post # 14
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We opened a joint account together a few months after we moved in together. After budgeting out our household needs (we split everything and everything is in both of our names) and figuring out how much we spend per month on average, we each contribute a set amount every month. I just have part of my paycheck direct deposited into that account and the rest into my own. That way we have “our” money for stuff like groceries and special events, but we keep our own money for everything else. We’re getting married in February and i I don’t think we would change this. I like us each having our own money in addition to pooling the rest.

Post # 15
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

CanadianBride456:  DH and I combined finances when we purchased a home together (so approximately 1 year before we got married).  We have one joint chequing account, and one joint savings account. 

All of our income goes into the chequing account, and all of our expenses go out of the chequing account.  We very much feel like a team (regardless of who makes more), so don’t feel like we need separate accounts. 

That being said, we each have individual credit cards, and in our budget, have three line items – two for individual “fun” money, and one for combined “fun” money.

It works very well for us, but I could see that if anyone feels they are allowed to spend more because they make more, it may not work out.

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