Post # 1
Well, I never thought I would say that we might be thinking of having an adult only reception (except for children in the bridal party like my daughter)
It all started a few weeks ago when Mr. Tattoo’s grandmother said that she wanted to pay for our cupcakes. She asked for a price because she wanted to send us a check now to put away. Well you can’t get a price without knowing how many people you are going to have, so we sat down and started to come up with a guest list. That’s when I realized that there are a lot of folks in my family with lots of kids. For instance. My uncle and aunt have 4 daughters. These are my first cousins and I’m very close to all of them. The oldest has 5 boys. The second one just had her second child. The third one has two kids and the 4th one has three boys. So it looks like
cousin 1-husband, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy
cousin 2-husband, boy, girl
cousin 3-girl, girl (and possibly a guest since she is seriously involved with this guy right now)
cousin 4-fiance, boy, boy, boy
Uh, that’s 22 people already in ONE family! FI’s best man has a wife and she has to come with him and they have three kids. My MOH has a small daughter and one of my bridesmaids has a daughter.
My older sister with no hesitation said, “Put an age limit on the reception. Your guest list is going to get out of control because folks and their kids.”
I just know this won’t go over well. Mr. Tattoo’s sister has a small child. His half sister is 8. It’s not like his dad and step mom can just leave her in NY for the weekend. Caterering for small kids is crazy.
Maybe I can call a place like chick fil a to get a huge party platter of chicken nuggets and fries for the children? That would be a lot cheaper than getting something from the caterer. Right?
Post # 3
I would never have a straight out and out no children reception – personally I would say go with the chicken nuggets and fries option also that means that parents don’t need to pay for a sitter, or “get back to the sitter” at 10pm or whatever.
Also any OOT guests may struggle to find a sitter in a strange town … We are having children at our wedding – but that’s because we’re doing a home made buffet so it’s really no biggy!
(and I love kids!)
Post # 4
Most of our Family & friends with children have 3+ kids. We actually joke how they have clans.
Our final guestlist is 89 and if we invited children we were looking at 120!
We knew that we just couldn’t accomodate them.
Not just financially but I couldn’t figure out how to seat everyone…
have 3 childrens tables vs. having some tables 1/2 kids if they sat with their parents.
The only children invited are my son (ring bearer) & my FI niece & nephew (flower girl & jr gm)
We will have childcare on hand though along with $$ aside for someone to make a happy meal trip for those that bring their kiddos despite the invite “adult only” request & a phone call (i alread had to make 1 for a step sister that put her daughter on the rsvp)
Post # 5
Wow, that’s a toughy. I really like the idea of the chicken nuggets and you could get tons of juice boxes that way there are no glasses of punch to get spilled.
We came to our conclusion about kids at weddings after attending a few lately. We were going to have family only, but after the last two weddings the FH nixed the kids altogether, which I was thrilled about (I am not much of a kid person outside of our own). We are having a late evening wedding anyway with lots of cocktailing, so it doesn’t work well with kids anyways.
Post # 6
@tksjewelry: I wish I could use the late night reception as an excuse, but ours is in the middle of the afternoon.
I think I’m going to get a price on the chicken nuggets.
Post # 7
When we changed our venue to a hall that strictly allows no more than 175 people. I knew right away that we had to have adults only because we simply dont have enough seats for all the kids, we barely have enough seats for all the adults we want to invite.
Having said that, there are a few exceptions, my brothers kids are coming, Fi’s sisters kids are coming and then the kids that are actually in the wedding are also going to be at reception and thats it! and thats already 8 kids!
Post # 8
@bells: Seriously! It never seems like it’s that much until you put it down on paper!
Post # 9
My guestlist is immediate family only plus a few friends…meaning parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. I have 31 people on my guestlist, 11 of which is children. Since we are having a backyard wedding, we are just going to set up an area for them with lots of activities. FIs half of the list is about 99% adults….maybe 3 or 4 kids. I am sure they will be runnign around like some crazy people but as long as they don’t knock anything over, I am fine with it.
Post # 10
Do you have a caterer? Will your caterer allow outside food? A lot won’t unless the second caterer is the cake. (some venues won’t allow more than one caterer too).
Post # 11
@Miss Tattoo: I know its crazy!!
Post # 12
We decided to draw the line with children because including them (last tally was 30 kids under the age of 10) meant NOT inviting close family members in an effort to stay anywhere near our budget (we are both 23, in professional school, and paying for this wedding ourselves). We decided to put in place the rule of no under-12 kiddos for the following reasons:
1. Neither of us really wanted small children at the wedding or reception. Nothing against them, but we are both not close to the 30 kids, and most of them are 3rd or 4th cousins that we have only met once or twice.
2. The budget. Our caterer didn’t offer a discounted price per head for anyone old enough to eat table food.
3. Our wedding is a formal evening event geared toward adults. We will be having an open bar and there will be 50+ twenty/thirty somethings who enjoy drinking a lot and getting crazy on the dance floor (including myself!). Honestly, if I were a parent, I wouldn’t want to bring my child!
If it is important to you that children be present then I say include them. I think the chicken finger plates are a great idea, if your venue would allow you to bring in outside food (some are funny when it comes to bringing in anything besides a wedding cake/cupcakes). They would probably like that a lot better than what your caterer may come up with, knowing most kids!
Post # 13
@gabrielleelise1981: We are getting married outdoors where we have to bring in a caterer. So that’s a plus. There is no exclusive caterer for the venue. They give you a list of vendors that have done weddings there, but you are basically on your own. You pay for the alcohol permit and can serve whatever you want. You can hire bartenders from a caterer or hire your sisters bartender friends for $100 cheaper. ^_^
Post # 14
We came to the decision before we got engaged for several reasons. My family is huge, my dad has 9 siblings and my mom has 10, each of them has children and it goes on from there. Adding the children will add at least 35 more people, and thats not including FI family or our friends children.
The biggest reason is past wedding with children that did not go well. At my FBIL wedding a toddler cried through the first half of the ceremony. At the reception one kid went around to all the tables and tryed to take the favors while his sister proceeded to throw her silverware at the people at the next table. At the last wedding we went to several teenagers got wasted and it was a huge disaster so we only want 21 and up so we wont have to monitor such things.
Really it depends on the couple and the type of wedding they want to have, but for us no kids is the way to go.
Post # 15
With me it came down to costs. I realized how much I would be paying for an entire family to attend and when I got up from falling off my chair, I discussed with my fiance about cutting children. We don’t have a lot of kids in our family or friends with children so I didn’t think it would be a huge issue.
What was an extra push for us to have a no kids policy was when we hosted a dinner party with the potential children wedding guests and saw how their parents disciplined (or didn’t). I would have thought differently if it was a close family member with children.
We have strict numbers for our venue and I wanted to make sure we don’t have to leave out any adults in place of the kids.
Post # 16
haha giving birth seven years prior kinda took that decision out of my hand.
I want it to be a true family and friends celebration so children are welcome-but only ones we know.