Post # 1
It’s been a totally crazy year for me! I got back together with my high school/college sweetheart back in January after an awful breakup with my ex. (I should say the months leading up the breakup were bad; I was actually relieved after the breakup!)
Anyway, we’ve discussed our future together (yeah! 🙂 )and have started looking at houses online with the intent on hopefully finding something this summer. SO knows I won’t buy a house with him without being engaged; I know he’s already asked my friends for my preferences and for jeweler recommendations. He’s pretty traditional so I know he would like to have some say in my ring. He’s always been great with jewelry with me before (my original ering from him was beautiful and he picked it out all by himself when we were in college) so I’m not afraid that he’s going to pick out something I don’t like.
Long story short, when I was engaged last year, I had huge issues with my ring. For those of you that remember, my ex bought me a CZ ring and tried to pass it off as a real diamond, then got furious when I found out it wasn’t real. It really put a damper on our relationship and even though I did eventually get a new diamond ring, the relationship was beyond repair and we wound up breaking up a few months later.
After that ordeal, diamonds (at least a diamond center stone) leave kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Since we are also saving up for a house, I was going to suggest we use my grandmother’s diamond that was left for me, even though it wasn’t the best quality. Well, SO beat me to it, and he had it repolished (it didn’t need to be recut) and had it put in a pendant and gave it to me for my birthday yesterday! It’s absolutely gorgeous! (I haven’t had time to take a picture yet)
I have really taken a liking to sapphire rings. SO’s birthday is in September so I think it would be awesome to incorporate that in my ring. My birthstone is diamond, so I think a sapphire and diamond ring would be perfect!
Problem is, SO thinks I’m settling wanting a gemstone ring. I told him that gemstones were used as erings before diamonds were. I also told him about the fact that it’s both our birthstones, which I think did convince him a bit. I also told him gemstones aren’t necessarily cheaper than diamonds. I think he thinks he’s going to come off looking cheap if he gets a gemstone…although he did perk up when I told him the founder of Facebook got his wife a gemstone ring.
So sorry so long; I was wondering if there’s something I’m missing. How did you convince your SO you wanted a gemstone ring?
Post # 3
Well my FI and I were engaged before with a different ring and he loved that I loved Saphires because it was something he could afford! He was a brand new Marine at the time getting ready for deployment so we didn’t have a whole lot to spend and so he was over the moon that I didn’t want a diamond. It was really easy to convince him 😛 It was a little harder this time around to convince him to go the route of moissy but after we looked into it more he was more than happy about it.
Post # 4
What about the gorg. Sapphire ring that Princess Kate has? If sapphire is good for royalty why not us common folk? I love sapphires myself and have a 3 stone ering with diamond center and 2 pear sapphire sidestones.
As far as convincing my SO, i simply kept showing him the photo of the ring i wanted.. He ended up selecting another setting but was sure to include the sapphires Since he knew i really wanted it.
Post # 5
First off, I’ve followed your posts (esp when I was a brand new bee, I was completely enthralled by your posts!) so I’m SOOO happy this is working out for you!! =)
Next, I just said it over and over and over and over and over until it got annoying haha I wanted a yellow sapphire, so I just stuck to showing my SO some natural untreated sapphires online to show her that they weren’t much cheaper than the diamonds we had looked at, explaining that I didn’t want a traditional ring with a stone that everyone and their mother has, and saying “if you don’t get a yellow sapphire than you’ll be getting a yellow diamond of similar size & that’s gonna cost big bucks so you might wanna stick with the one I actually WANT” jokingly lol
What color sapphire are you considering?
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
I just told my fiance I didnt like diamond engagement rings. In the end we chose together and I ended up with a big beautiful purple color changing sapphire.
As stated if its good enough for royalty its good enough for everyone. Sapphires are the second most common engagement stone. They come in a variety of colors. Do you have a color preference? Do you have a setting in mind?
Post # 7
Thanks! I will bring up the Princess Diana/Kate Middleton ring! I had also forgotten that his grandmother had a sapphire ring very similar to the Kate Middleton one too.
I would like a blue sapphire. Blue is my favorite color, and SO’s eyes are blue (although not dark blue!) And this is corny, but our junior high (where we met) and high school colors are blue and white; our college alma mater’s colors are blue and orange, but I don’t have to have orange in my ring 🙂
I like classic styles, clean lines. I don’t want a solitaire because I had that before (but only for 3 weeks) and I’ve tried on micropave rings, but am not crazy about them on me.
Post # 8
Just fyi, a diamond is gemstone too… I think you mean ‘natural colored gemstone.’
A good quality, untreated, vivid blue sapphire is NOT cheap, by any definition. It is not much less than a good diamond. Have him do a little research on the prices of untreated colored gemstones and he should lose all belief that colored gems are cheap in no time!!
Post # 9
My FI and discussed rings and stones, and I’ve never been too partial to diamonds and he knew that. I researched stones and found one that I just LOVED. He was fine with whatever I wanted, as long as it made me happy. End of story.
Post # 10
I don’t have mine yet. (It’s being made)
I was engaged once before(with a diamond) and have my Great Grandmother, Grandmother, Nana and Mom’s diamond rings. I do not need another one.
I told my SO that I wanted something unique and different and special~like me and our relationship, not something that comes off the assembly line.
And I wanted something green. He told me to just tell him what kind of stone I wanted. I did one better. I bought my own stone(well, he paid for it~but I found it)
And I cannot wait to get my Chrysoberyl back!! (Soon, I hope)
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2014 - Ceremony: St Patrick's Basilica Reception: Southern Cross Ballroom, Esplanade Hotel Fremantle
I didn’t actually know what i wanted in the beginning lol, i did know that i wanted an antique and i didn’t want a diamond :). FI and i went shopping on my birthday and we browsed the antique stores because it’s one of my favourite things to do, because it was august they had a lot of peridot out.
We weren’t shopping for a ring though i was just looking at things and trying stuff on like i normally do, i tried on an opal and yeah it was so not me. I spotted my e-ring and fell in love, i asked to try it on and it was a perfect fit. I tried on a diamond daisy and i really didn’t like it, i preferred my birthstone. Little did i know FI put a deposit on it that day and popped the question in december, he definitely knew that was the one :).
Here is a pic of my ring <3, coloured gemstones can look amazingly pretty. Show him what you like, and also tell him about the whole his birthstone and your birthstone story. I reckon he’ll think that it’s a really sweet idea 🙂
Post # 12
Luckily, my FI was the one who had the idea of purchasing a colored gemstone. At first he was looking into purple diamonds but then realized how expensive they were and he decided on a violet sapphire; which I love. So no convincing needed but I would suggest maybe telling him what you just told us about why diamonds leave a bad taste in your mouth. I think he would understand then.
Post # 13
I told my fiance that I really wanted an emerald and why I wanted one rather than a diamond. Simple, honest and straightforward got him on board.
Since you’ve mentioned wanting a sapphire, you could try mentioning the conflict diamond thing. Or tell him you’d rather have an unforgettable honeymoon than a more expensive ring.
Post # 14
I’m not going to lie, the difference in money definitely helped. No, gemstone rings aren’t always cheaper than a diamond, but the styles I specifically liked were always really expensive with a diamond in them. We’re both young (he’s 21 and I’m almost 23), and finances are definitely still an issue.
But I also made it clear to him that his love for me isn’t defined by how much he spent on a ring. People kept telling him he needed to spend like $2,500, which to me personally is outrageous, and I think he got a little freaked out when a childhood friend of his proposed to his girlfriend in December with a several thousand dollar ring.
The thing that made it finally click with him is that I told him that I was ultimately asking for a ring with a green stone because I wanted one, and that’s what he can tell people. “This is what she wanted, and it makes her happy.” And really, who can argue with that?
Post # 15
@peacockrosebride: Wow, I have never seen a ring like that! Gorgeous.
Post # 16
That’s great that things are working out for you! I remember your previous posts.
I don’t have a gemstone ring myself, but they are really common here in the UK. Diana/Kate’s ring has certainly increased the popularity of blue sapphire recently but gemstone engagement rings have been around for decades. Why not show your SO some pictures of antique rings to show him they are more traditional than he might think?
My mother and FMIL both have gemstone engagement rings and my grandma has a gemstone “upgrade” – they are all gorgeous!