Post # 1
So I’ve mentioned moissanite to my boyfriend a few times now. Even sent him some rings I love from Schubachs. I totally thought he would be okay with moissanite, but the other day he said he didn’t understand why I wanted that and he doesn’t like it!
After being on the Bee for awhile and researching moissanite I’m 100% sure this is the stone I want. I love large gems and I really don’t want us to spend all that money on a diamond considering it decreases in value so much right after you buy it. I also don’t believe that an engagement ring has to be a diamond. I would LOVE a big giant emerald stone but again with the money being spent. We are about to purchase another home so spending so much money seems crazy to me when we can get the moissanite!
So my question is, how do I get him to like moissanite? I’ve mentioned the things I’ve listed here, but he’s still not budging!
Also, if it helps here is the RHR I wear. Love love love the big stones
Post # 3
@Lalalanelson: It took some serious convincing for my SO! Even after he purchased my ring, he wouldn’t tell me if he’d gone for moissanite or diamond (I was really holding out for moissanite, and got it yay!)
I showed him tonnes of videos on youtube. I compared costs. I would show him photos of them side my side. He would always prefer the moissanite because of the sparkle, but he wasn’t sold, yet!
I educated him about the diamond industry, especially about how much the value decreases after you buy. This started to make him think a little but more!
I don’t know why he decided to get me the moissanite instead, I think he got it because he knew that I loved it so much more than my (then) current diamond.
Diamonds are beautiful, and I still have lots of diamond jewellery, but for big stones, I’ll always go with moissanite! The fire is truly amazing.
All in all, you need to explain to your SO that moissanite is truly the gem you’d like to wear forever. Hopefully he’ll come around!
Post # 4
My SO took a bit of convincing to come around. He was very concerned that if people heard I didn’t have a diamond then they would assume I had a CZ (which there is NOTHING wrong with, but he’s a guy a little more close minded than I am) or that it was somehow a “fake” diamond we were trying to pass off. He didn’t want people thinking that we were trying to pass of something as a diamond when it wasn’t, etc. He hadn’t been obsessing over this website and all of the pretty moissys like I had, so, after a little educating, I finally got him to consider it.
Ultimately, it came down to what I wanted. I had never wanted a diamond and had gone back and forth between sapphire and morganite, but could never pull the trigger on either stone. I was too concerned the morganite would become cloudy, would chip, scratch, etc. I also couldn’t find a colored sapphire I would be comfortable wearing for the rest of my life, so I waffled over those stones as well. Finding moissanite was like a lightbulb going off over my head.
I would just try informing him in the most gentle, but firm way, that a moissanite is the stone you would like. Bottom line. If he truly wants you to be happy, he’ll hop on the moissanite train. Possibly do a little independent research and see if any local jewelry stores nearby carry the stone and then subtley suggest he go check it out for himself. I’ve found with my guy, he needs to see, touch, and feel something for himself before he “gets it.” Still, he’s nervous about the moissanite decision, but there is no way we could afford a comparable diamond and NO WAY I would have wanted it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Vegas baby!
My FI wasn’t hard to sway. I told him I didn’t want a diamond, but I did want a clear stone. I told him all about moissanite, as I learned about them many years ago. He was right on board. He chatted with a few work friends, and they all gave him the same advice – “get her what she wants, even if it’s different from what you want, because she is the one it’s meant for”. So, needless to say, it was pretty simple haha.
Post # 6
@Lalalanelson: Ooo, me! I had to convince mine as well. He wanted diamond and thought moissanite was a joke at first — totally my fault because I originally heard about it from JTV, and my obsession with that channel is a bit of a joke between us.
What I did was organize a secret mission, lol. There’s a mall in our town that carries moissanite, so I just “happened” to suggest eating lunch at a nearby restaurant. And oh look, we’re at the mall already, why don’t we walk around and look at rings. Oh how convenient! Moissanite! 😀 I showed him the stone and then we went to several stores that carried diamonds immediately after, where I pointed out the differences between the two and why I preferred the look of moissanite (warmer, more rainbow sparkles and double refraction vs ‘cold’ blue single refraction, etc) I think seeing the side-by-side comparrisons helped him understand what I was looking for and what I liked/didn’t like, and he did say it helped cement his decision to purchase one for me. I have since come clean about being sneaky, and he thinks it’s funny.
Not sure that would work for you if you don’t have a local shop that carries moissanite, but maybe you could order one for him to see and compare to some diamonds? It helped my fiance to see specific IRL examples of what I liked about it.
Post # 7
@Lalalanelson: He was SUPER hesitant about it for a multitude of reasons. So my sneaky ass Netflixed Blood Diamond one night. His mind was changed as soon as the credits started rolling at the end.
I ended up with a colored stone though.
Post # 8
@heyitskatie: I like this idea!
Post # 9
@Lalalanelson: We were both already fond of non-diamond options, so choosing moissanite was really just a matter of me saying I wanted something relatively colorless (I have a “thing” about matching jewelry to my outfit so it would bug the crap out of me to have a lovely blue sapphire when I was wearing bright pink!) and something super sparkly (hence Moissy over a white sapphire). It was also important to me that we not have to replace the stone unless something really insane happened, so the durability made it stand out above something like morganite or a CZ.
But for men, the ring can be a source of pride. If he’s fully convinced of the “It has to be a diamond because a diamond is forever and anything else is a ‘fake’ engagement ring” I don’t know how you get around that. Maybe show him how much a similarly colored, visually clean diamond would cost vs. a moissanite in the size you want? I mean… that’d be a HUGE motivator for me!
Post # 10
My husband wanted me to have whatever I really wanted. Though, he is easy going things like that. Also, he’s not a fan of the diamond industry. So really, it didn’t take any convincing at all.
Post # 11
@Lalalanelson: have you seen moissanite in person? Larger moissanite stones are oftentimes very green or yellow coloured, even with the various treatments and enhancements. Unfortunately, this undesirable body colour shows up even in “flattering” photos of these larger moissanites and probably is even more dramatic in real life. Maybe this won’t bother you since you were also considering green emeralds.
If he wants to buy you a diamond, by all means let him. The proposal is his “moment”, let him at least have a say.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@Lalalanelson: I just told him I wanted moissanite, and he said okay. If it helps, you can show him facts/videos/pictures, etc.
Post # 13
FI told me to pick what I wanted and he’d buy it, lol. My moissy e-ring is currently on layaway and I’ll have it next month =D
Post # 14
I didn’t really, I just told him “This is what I want.”
Part of being in a stable relationship is being able to trust that what the other person tells you is in fact what they mean/want, and second guessing that shows a lack of trust somewhere.
If you say you want something because it is cheaper, and not because it is what you really want, then I can see a partner being skeptical because you are lying to yourself and them inadvertantly, but if that hasn’t been an issue, then let him know you don’t want it to become one! 🙂
If it’s a “pride” thing, let him know you want to be with the man who puts what you want above what society tells him you want. 😉
Post # 15
We had been talking about engagement/marriage for a bit so I took it upon myself whe. we were talking about it one time.
Me: Did you see such-and-such’s ring? It’s really pretty…
Me: You know, I dont really want a diamond.
DH: What? What do you want?
Me: A moissanite. (Insert moissanite lesson here.)
DH: Hmmm…is there a price difference?
Me: Its 500 per carat vs 5,000 for a diamond that is comparable (it was just a guess.)
DH: Wow, ok, cool.:)
Post # 16
@Lalalanelson: I was lucky because it was SOOOO easy. My SO is really concerned with making me happy, but I wanted a colored gemstone (because I think diamonds are insanely overpriced) and he liked the idea of spending less money for more ring because we are in college (before anybody things, “Ohhh too young!” we are 26) and getting ready to start our lives together so there are way more valuable things we could spend money on. He didn’t like the idea of a colored stone though, for many reasons one which was unfortunately that he was worried what people might think and I understand that. When I found moissanite it was the PERFECT solution to our conflict between me not wanting a diamond and wanting something with some color (since moissanite relfects so many beautiful colors) and his want for something that at least appeared more traditional without having to sacrifice the ability to pay bills.
My best advice would be to remind him that while his opinions are important, you are the one who is going to ahve to wear this ring forever, and remind him of your reasons for wanting moissanite.
Also in regards to what @GlitteringDiamond: said, not all moissanite shows a ton of color and not everyone finds body color undesirable. I’ve seen tons of “flattering” photos of HUGE moissanite rings with NO body color. It all depends on the stone you get, the shape, the setting, and the lighting.