Post # 1
I tried on dresses for the first time with some family members last week, and I’m feeling more confused now than I was before the trip. I thought that I’d be able to narrow down the silhouette I wanted, at least. Instead, I only liked a really slim trumpet/sheath type dress… and the biggest, fluffiest tulle ballgown in the store. (I didn’t find a specific dress I loved, but I’m hoping to narrow down the options for the next shopping trip.)
The slimmer stuff was more fitting for my style and for the vibe of our wedding (laid-back ski lodge in mid-July with up to 80 people). But the ballgowns were SO fun, and I can’t imagine any other time I’d have a chance to wear one. I’m worried that I won’t feel like myself in the ballgown, and that I’ll be missing out on something special if I go for the slimmer look.
Did any of you feel conflicted like this? How did you figure out which look to go for?
Post # 2
I had a really similar experience. I tried on a few ballgowns at the first store I went to, and a few gowns in a slimmer sillhouette. I liked the ballgown the best!
…and then I went to a different store, and fell in love with a slim A-line look. I also debated between the ballgown/slimmer fitting A-line, but decided to go with the A-line since it complimented my style the best.
Like you, I thought that I might be missing out if I didn’t opt for a ballgown. After all, when am I ever going to have a chance to wear a ballgown?? In the end, I bought the A-line dress, because it just fit my personality better. Even though the ballgown was fun, I felt it just wasn’t “me” enough. I liked the idea of wearing a ballgown, but whenever it was on me it just felt a little too overwhelming for me.
And in the end, I don’t have too much regret over my decision not to go with the ballgown. After all, every wedding dress is special! When are you ever going to have the chance to wear an ivory/white full-length trumpet/sheath type dress either? 🙂
Post # 3
I’m going to be of no help. I’m plus sized, short and pear shaped, so A-line dresses just looked best on me. Ballgowns made me look wider than normal, trumpet/fit-and-flare were not flattering because of my hips…..so A-line it was.
My suggestion for you is to wear the dress you feel most comfortable wearing. Whether it be a ballgown or a more slim fitting dress. 🙂
Post # 4
rubysparks: I really wanted a ballgown (I’m obsessed with Disney and wanted to be a Disney princess haha :P) however I’m on the shorter side so those dresses just swallowed me up. I’ve always disliked mermaids/fitted dresses and am self conscious of my Timmy so I didn’t want anything fitted. When I tried more fitted dresses on, though, they actually made me look/ feel taller and thinner than I am IMO
Post # 5
rubysparks: I went in to look at dresses for the first time with a definite idea of what I wanted: lace, fitted, keyhole back, slight trumpet to dropped A-line at the bottom. But I knew it was my first time in and so I had them pull a bunch of other dresses that I might not have even considered.
I ended up falling in love with this lovely princess, poofy ballgown, and got it, because you only live once!
Post # 6
I only had one silhouette in mind (mermaid), and that’s the one that I ended up going with. I did regret for a few years the fact that I didn’t even try on a ballgown, but when I got a chance to a couple weeks ago, I just felt silly in it so no regrets! But my suggestion is to pick the one that makes you feel like a bride!
Post # 7
I think it’s a combination of all of the above for me. I am definitely considering my body, my personality, and my venue. Silhouette is a tough choice. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend a ballgown for a laid-back ski house wedding, but, in the end, it’s totally your day!
Post # 8
I got what looked best on my body. It was different than anything I imagined I would get, but I loved it!
Post # 9
Wear what you want! I’ve seen ballgowns on the beach and at brewery weddings. I would just picture yourself walking down the aisle; picture what you will look like from your FI’s perspective. What do you feel most comfortable in? I went with a vintage sheath style; for my body, probably the safer choice would have been an A line gown. But it’s not what I really wanted. It sounds like you love that ballgown. I would give yourself some time to decide, but if you keep thinking about that ballgown, then that’s probably the one!
Post # 10
I didnt want a ballgown but thats what looked best on me unfortunately. I wanted a-line but none of them did it for me. I wouldnt even try on a mermaid because I really believe you should be a certain shape (and have a nice butt!) to wear them.
Post # 11
I LOVED trying on ballgowns–that is what I thought I would get. Ultimately, however, I went with a mermaid. I decided that I felt more like a girl playing dress up in the big dresses, but that in the fitted dresses I felt more like a woman making a commitment. I also felt that with the ballgown, I would be “hiding behind” a ton of tulle, and I really wanted to feel open and vulnerable. It probably doesn’t sound logical, but it made sense in my head!
Go with what you want. Even though I am not wearing a ballgown, I still own several poofy shorter dresses that still give me that fun, twirly feeling. It’s not the only occasion to wear a totally fun poofy girly dress.
Post # 12
dietfrog: Thanks, I think you’re right that this is going to be a special dress no matter what. I’m starting to think that if I can find a trumpet with the right sort of flare, that might be the best of both worlds.
Karenina: No that sounds completely reasonable! I had the same feeling trying the two on… the ballgown was so fun it made me giddy, and I loved that it made me feel curvy for once (I’m really lanky/gangly). However, I felt like I was playing dress-up. I wanted to be in a musical when I was wearing it, and my wedding doesn’t have the fairy tale/musical vibe going on. As much as our wedding is going to be fun, the ceremony is going to focus on a major, serious commitment. You hit the nail on the head with “I felt more like a woman making a commitment” in the slimmer, more romantic dress.
Post # 13
I defintely went with what looked best with my body and what my sense of style is. I already knew what I didn’t like and didn’t even bother trying those on. There were a few styles that I was iffy about and tried them on anyway and it confirmed pretty much what I had in my head so I said no to those.
The dress I bought wasn’t exactly the silhouette I had in my head but it looked great on me and the details and style was still very “me” so I picked it. Plus, I was able to alter a few things here and there with the skirt so it was even better afterwards.
I would go with whatever makes you say, OMG, when you put it on and gives you goosebumps just looking at yourself and not because it’s an opportunity to wear something that you don’t think you will ever wear again. You want to feel beautiful and confident on your wedding day. You don’t want any regrets. Also think about 20 to 30 years from now and try to think about what you would say if you saw yourself in your wedding dress at that time. Sometimes that does the trick. It did with me!!
Post # 14
I couldn’t decide so I got both styles: a fluffly tulle ballgown for the ceremony and a lacy mermaid for the reception. Never thought I’d be that girl with two dresses but it was the way it turned out. I do believe that you should have a moment when you pick the right dress, though. I didn’t cry, but I knew it was the right choice when I could picture myself walking down the aisle in it. As for the second dress, it made sense since it was easier to walk around and dance in.
There are also numerous wedding dress styles where you can get the best of both worlds by simply putting a tulle ballgown skirt on top of a mermaid or sheath dress. When I was l dress shopping I couldn’t really find any styles like that but I know Hayley Paige and Bhldn have styles like that now. Maybe that would be a good option for you?
Don’t just settle for a dress. Wait until you have the moment otherwise you might have some serious dress regret. Keep shopping around–you’ll find the right dress for you 🙂
Post # 15
Self conscious about my TUMMY not Timmy hahah 😉