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How did you decide what order to put your wedding party in?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
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    Helper bee
    Lexatron    September 6th, 2009   Missoula, MT

    I've heard of by height, by how close you are to them, and how long you've known them.  My dilemma is that half of our wedding party is made up of couples - my FI's two brothers, my brother, and all three wives.  By using any sort of logical organization system, the couples won't walk down the aisle together.  I'm thinking about drawing names out of a hat, unless I come up with something better.

     What was your method for choosing an order for your wedding party to be in?

     
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    mandalynn17    June 19, 2010   Medford, OR

    We obviously will have our MOH and BM first.  Then, I think we will arrange the other two girls by height. The guys side won't be from tallest to lowest like the girls, just cause one of the groomsmen is taller than the best man.  Eh, you win some you loose some. I'm not stressing over it :)

     
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    stressgirl615    May 17, 2008   Los Angeles

    For my wedding I was trying to place the girls with the guys I thought they would get along with the best since they didn't know each other.  However we quickly realized that the height differences would look strange in pictures.  We ended up just doing order of height.  Was kind of funny that the MOH was the tallest girl but best man was 2nd tallest guy though.  I say just do order of height so that no one can really argue that you think one is more important than the other. 

     
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    Anonymous      

    Good question!

     
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    Curlysue    June 5, 2009  

    Lexatron, I agree with mandalynn17, don't stress :) I would do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Have you asked the couples if they would care walking down the aisles with someone other their their S.O. or not? If not, then do what you want. Now, I do think it would be cute to put the respective couples together in any photos you take. That way it's sweet for them too!

     
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    EAQ219    May 22, 2010   Bethesda, MD

    I'll be watching this thread closely. FI has a Best Man, but I don't have an MOH. I have NO idea how I'm going to order them.

     
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    quiche    May 2, 2009   Chicago

    Alphabetically

     
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    soontobewalsh    09/18/10   Boston

    We are having our MOH and BM first. Then we chose my best friend and and a GM that she gets along well with and knows to go next. After that is his best friend and we paired him with one of my BM's that is equally good looking to him and they are about the same height. Everyone else was chosen based on height.

     
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    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    We've paired them up based on a bunch of decisions: their personal relationships (my brother and SIL will walk together, two that have known each other for a while will walk together, two that we want to get to *know* each other will walk together....hehe) and then otherwise just based on who we think will get along best. Thankfully none of the guys are particularly tall nor the girls short ... I think it just works! As for order - who knows!  Still TBD

     
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    Mae0926    10/2/10   Milwaukee, WI

    yeah, ours are personal reasons. He has two sisters that I have standing up, and I have two brother's that are standing up as groomsmen. I have three friends standing up, and he has three friends. The MOH and BM go together, than my brothers will go with my friends, since they know each other well, and his friends will go with his sisters since they know each other well!

     
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    Lexatron    September 6th, 2009   Missoula, MT

    I hadn't thought of alphabetically!  That might enable the couples to still be paired together, too.  Ultimately, having them all with their spouse is more important to me than the appearance of heights.  I just know that my FI is going to want his brothers to stand closest to him (after his BM), which would then put their wives closest to me after my MOH, even though I would prefer to have one or two of my older friends closer. 

     I suppose in the end, it's not worth losing any sleep over.  Everyone in our wedding party knows that they're there because they're important to us, regardless of where they stand for our brief ceremony.

     
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    fizicsGirl    8/1/2009   Michigan

    It sounds like you have conflicting things that are important to you:)

    I think you need to decide whether having couples walk together is more important or having your friends closer to you is.  Keep in mind that unless you hare having BM's escorted down the aisle (I don't htink I've ever seen this done), it's only going to matter for the recessional who each person stands opposite.  Many people won't even be paying much attention after you guys have walked out.

    As for me, b/c my sister (Matron of HOnor) will be 6 days from her due date, she probably won't stand.  My co-Maid of Honor is not being the nicest, so I really don't want her standing next to me.  Since we're mixing up genders and my brother is on my side, I think I'm going to have him next to me (and just have him hand her the bouquet).

    There is *no* right answer to this.  Just do what feels right (though I understand it can be stressful)

     
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    December    December 12, 2008   Minneapolis,MN/Jackson,MS

    I only had an MOH but I've been a bridesmaid twice and seen it happen two different ways.. the third time is coming up Aug 1 and we'll see how that works!

    The first time it was four of us out of an inseperable high school Gang of Five (what we called ourselves, I know, lame. How did you decide what order to put your wedding party in? :  wedding Icon Razz), and we seemed to be order of closeness at the current time, after the MOH. It went SIL/MOH, then girl who had been a coworker, girl who was the best friend first/longest, me (who was closer a little later on) and then little sister of coworker girl, who was least close but still an important part of the group.

    The second time was length of acquaintance. Cousin/BFF/MOH, 1st grade best friend, high school best friend (me), SIL.

    I didn't know the groomsmen at all so I'm not sure how they were ordered. One girl I knew had every other bridesmaid in a cocktail length dress, but that seemed to be kind of on accident. They all were told to wear red and I don't know if the bride knew what their dresses were like beforehand.

     
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    AbbyM    October 17, 2009   Chicago, IL but getting married in Southern Minnesota

    I'm doing my MOH/BM, 2 brothers with SILs, and 3 girlfriends with 3 of his friends.  Although I'm closer to my friends than SILs, I figured this was easiest since I'm very close to my brothers.  He can let the guys walk down however he wants (not sure if guys think about it as much as us!!) and my friends were going to be in height, but one p*ssed me off and is moving to the end of the line!  And the only reason I have a bad connotation with the 'end of the line' is b/c my cousin that has been a BM about 15 times (literally) always begs not to be at the end of the line.  So yes, me moving her there is punishment.  Ha!

    And for pictures - last wedding I was the in the photographer mixed it up and we only stood in our walking order for about 5 pictures.

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    If you are willing to do something a little non-traditional, why not group them in couples to stand with you as couples (instead of a row of girls and a row of guys).  I was in a wedding where this worked out really well.  That way, you can put the groups of couples you want closest to you or facing you where you want.  

     
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    AliOopsieDaisy    July 2010  

    I am definitely going by height. I've heard of horror stories about ladies getting upset with the order they were placed in. I'm going to have my MOH, and from there go shortest to tallest. I like to keep things easy!

     
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    Chantellamus    October 15, 2009  

    Umm...ours just kind of fell into place. I don't actually know how we settled on it, it just 'happend'

    it works. sorry - Can't be of much more help

     
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    konariley       AL

    I've listed them on our website as alphabetical and have them in the program (which i haven't actually gotten printed) as alphabetically....but I'm not sure how I want them lined up...very good question Lexatron.

     
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    NixLapi    October 24, 2009   Toronto

    Definitely not worth losing sleep over! *lol*

    We only have this issue on FIs side as he has more than 2 attendants - his BM and his 2 sisters - we'll line them up by age, oldest beside the BM, and then the youngest.

     
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    Samisomsam    March 13, 2010   Longview, WA

    I haven't decided on my side yet, but my brother is going to have to be put between FI's brother and best friend or it could get interesting. Let's just say I've been warned about letting FI have those two in the wedding. :)

     
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    Helper bee
    Lexatron    September 6th, 2009   Missoula, MT

    @fizicsGirl:  You hit the nail right on the head!  Thanks for clarifying what I was having difficulty expressing. 

    Thanks for the feedback, everyone!  I'll post on here again when we reach a decision.

     

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