Post # 1
I wanted to ask everybody how did your parents meet your SO’s parents?
I’ve been with my partner for 4.5 years and we are talking about introducing the parents to each other within the next 2 weeks.
I’m so nervous! Mostly because my parents are so traditional and his parents are so laid back. I do think they will get along but I’m just nervous about their first meeting.
So, how and where did your folks meet your SOs? Was it awkward? How did you break the ice? Any tips would be great!
Post # 3
Oh well we were friends for a long time before we got together and we each lived with our parents so we already knew eachother parents :////
but try to relax and be yourself! Don’t push it too hard, be polite and everything will be just fine!
Post # 4
@MsPups: After much insistance from my FMIL (who was freaking my mom out and starting to tick me off, for all that I love her to death), we all went out for dinner at Chili’s. Nice neutral location, and there’s an easy escape.
I was super nervous, too, but it’s really not that bad. Your parents love you and won’t want to embarrass you infront of your SO’s parents. Unless they’re just generally embarrassing people, which you can always apologize for in advance.
Post # 5
@Nostawyn: LOL luckily my parents aren’t embarassing! However, SO has a pretty firey relationship with his dad so I guess my main concern is that SO and his dad keep it together and are civil.
I agree, a neutral location would be ideal and was definitely my first option… We are having a big family BBQ this weekend at my parents house though, so I’m thinking of inviting his parents to that because it will be nice and casual!
Post # 6
Our parents will finally meet a day or two before the wedding! I’m terrified! My parents have spoken to his mom on the phone on holidays but I’m scared of them meeting…FI’s parents can be kind of rude and embarrassing, and my family is interracial, which FI’s family is not used to. They aren’t exactly racist, but they still notice color.
So, I don’t have any tips but good luck lol!
Post # 7
@MsPups: My parents and my future in-laws didn’t meet until FI and I had been together for 9 years, living together for 4.
I was actually hoping they would meet at our engagement party for the first time to minimize contact between them, but my parents insisted on a meeting once I was engaged. I was so nervous because they have NOTHING in common, so my dad took it easy on me and chose a great Mexican restaurant with a great bartender who kept the mojitos flowing.
It was SO AWKWARD. I don’t thnk FI’s dad said anything except for one sentence, to which his wife retorted, “Oh what do you know?!” Oh god, I’m cringing so hard right now just thinking about it. I think their marriage dynamics made my parents uncomfortable, and they realized why I had insisted that there was no point in meeting FI’s family. It was more than apparent that his parents are not people who would ever run in the same circles as my parents, and that there would be no big family holidays or life long friendship that could be formed.
Our parents meeting was great because previously, my parents insisted that FI and I spend more time with his family. Then they met, and realized why FI and I keep our distance. Then, my mom insisted that I have to have FI’s sisters as bridesmaids. I recently had my very formal engagement party, and my parents finally met FI’s siblings. Based on their behaviour at the engagement party, my mom finally emailed me and said no one would judge me if I didn’t include FI’s sisters in the wedding.
Post # 8
I don’t know if this will make you feel better about it or not, but my fiance’s mom met my mom at my dad’s funeral… Talk about awkward. 🙁
My mom met his dad at one of his band’s shows, my mom was very drunk…
I’m still surprised ours dads never met each other, they have about 50 mutual friends (not even exaggerating). Which freaked my FI out when I “met” some of the guys in his and his dad’s hunting cabin and their reaction was “Hey (nickname) want a beer?” And one of them threw me a bud light…
Post # 9
My parents met his parents in… my parents’ law office. His parents were having some legal difficulties with an extended relative so I suggested they see my dad for advice. Neither SO or I were present, so I was a bit worried, especially because of the language barrier and the high stress situation.
I broke the ice by speaking with SO’s parents ahead of time about my dad and mom’s personalities, especially as they would be meeting in a formal business context and my dad may seem a bit intimidating.
Post # 10
@MsPups: The first Christmas we had together was when our parents met each other for the first time and it wasn’t awkward at all. I think because we had constantly been around each other’s parents from the start, it made things easier (we got together when we were both still living at our parents’ homes so we had the whole “weekend sleepovers”/”doing the rounds” on Mother’s Day thing happening, etc).
By the time our parents finally met, enough time had already passed and so many stories had been shared between our families through my fiance and I, so it was almost like his parents and my parents already knew each other!
Post # 11
@MsPups: I think the first time was when they asked if my dad could do some electrical work at their house (he is an electrician). I think our moms first met at my FSIL’s baby shower, and they’ve had each other over for dinner and parties and such a few times since then. It’s never been awkward, I was nervous at first but it was fine. They seem to genuinely like each other.
Post # 12
My boyfriend’s mom and my parents haven’t met yet. We live in PA (as does his mom) and my parents live in Virginia. Typically we go to see my parents instead of making then drive here since it is a 7 hour drive, so they haven’t had many chances to meet. In addition to the distance, my boyfriend’s mom is very in and out of his life, so chances are we won’t be able to get ahold of her when my parents are in town.
Honestly, I am terrified of my parents meeting his mom. I hate for this to sound as bad as it does in my head, but she has some mental illnesses that she denies and refuses to receive treatment for and it can be hard for her to meet new people or for new people to handle being around her. She functions on an elementary schooler’s level and has extreme paranoia. My parents are pretty great people, and I know they would never judge her, but she has a way of just hurting everyone’s feelings, pushing people out of her life, and with her paranoia she is constantly accusing everyone of the most random things. The last one my boyfriend and I were accuse of was stealing screws out of her door hinges so her neighbors could break into her house more easily. My boyfriend and I are doing everything we can to keep her living as stable as possible and to get her help, but it is a struggle at times.
I just really want them meeting to be pleasant and I know the likelihood of that is pretty small, as does the boyfriend. He doesn’t want them to even meet until our wedding. I’d like for it to be before then, but I guess we shall see!
Post # 13
My parents and his parents are meeting each other the Wednesday before the wedding.
Post # 14
@MsPups: Wow. I am seriously shocked that you have been together that long and the parents have never met. Our parents met about 3 months after we started dating. All six of us went to dinner together. It was great. They really hit it off and our families have spent the last two Christmas holidays together.
Post # 15
@MsPups: Our parents met at our engagement party that my parents hosted. We’d been together for 6 years at that point, living together for the majority of that time.
It wasn’t awkward.. that I noticed, our parents are completely different people and would not likely be friends, but they got along just great! I was worried and stressed but, my FI’s parents raved about how welcoming my family was and vice versa. It went the best it could’ve.
Post # 16
Our parents met during our college graduation, when we had been dating 3 years (they had actually met once before, very briefly, at parent’s weekend freshman year, but we weren’t dating then). My parents hosted a dinner at a restaurant for all of my relatives who came to graduation (like 13 people) and invited FI and his family (brothers, parents, grandmother). FI prepped his dad for weeks prior, making sure he knew it wasn’t all right to make his usual, inappropriate sexual comments. He did great and they all got along (which I think was easier because there were so many other people around). Our parents just got together this past weekend for dinner (with FI and I) to discuss wedding stuff, and I think that went well, too.