(Closed) How did you know you wanted kids?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How did you know?
    I just knew / I always wanted kids : (66 votes)
    49 %
    It took a while for me to decide : (23 votes)
    17 %
    I don't want kids at the moment, but maybe in the future : (26 votes)
    19 %
    I never want to have children : (12 votes)
    9 %
    Other : (7 votes)
    5 %
    I decided I wanted them the day I found out I was pregnant! : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i just know…it’s like how i just know fi is the one for me. there is no explanation or thought.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I’ve also heard that being pregnant brings out your maternal instinct even if you didn’t think you had one.

    However, FI and I both knew we wanted to have kids both before we were together and definitely once we were together. I hope it works out since I also have a condition that will affect that (PCOS).

    Post # 6
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have had two (what I call) “baby fever attacks” since the wedding- one in September and one just in November.  We think we want kids (if its meant to be-) at some point, but we both want to be someone settled, at least to not have jobs we hate when we have them.  So far, the baby fever attacks go away, and I think rationally about waiting when they subside. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    711 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My husband and I  never wanted children and then we had a surprise! Our son is now 2 years old and I wouldnt give him up for anything. Now we are trying to figure out if we want one more…. I dont know though. I just dont know if I want to have another one.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Mrs Grape: Just FYI about adopting older kids: It’s not as easy as you might think and comes with it’s own set of problems, some of which you won’t ever know about (attachment, etc). My youngest sister was adopted at age 4.5 and she has had some really hard times adjusting. My Mom admits that she was by far the hardest to parent out of all four of us, though my youngest brother was a close second. 😉

    @cbee: Me too and we’re not married yet! It’s a bit hard when all I see on FB is cute baby pictures and cute baby things and whatnot.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @AmeliaBedelia I know, right!!  I had a hard time when I was on FB because it seemed like everyone I knew from the midwest had smiling pictures of children!  (I KNOW there is a lot more to it than that, but it was influencing me!)

    Mrs Grape, I had a really bad attack when one of my BF’s just gave birth and she NEVER wanted kids (I can quote, she thought, “babies are gross!”) but she had a surprise.  Then, I went to visit some old friends for Thanksgiving, and sure enough my friend’s GF had forced him into having a baby.  (She is due in January.)  I think the fever is contagious.

    DH and I have always wanted to adopt, and I think that is a great option if you can afford it.  But, adopting through foster care is always free.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Mrs Grape, I think that’s great about wanting to adopt!  Good for you!  We think about that too. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    I think I’m the opposite of most women.  Most women’s clocks start ticking around 30, but now that I am 30, and every day I’ve gotten older, I want less and less to have children.  Whenever a child screams in a store or throws crap on the floor at a restaurant, I am more and more set in my ways that I do not want children.

    Before 30, I had never really wanted children for different reasons, the main one being that I lost my youngest sister because of bipolar disorder, which our father also has.  Because it is a genetic disease, I carry the gene for it.  I would never ever be able to forgive myself if I lost a child in the same manner as I lost my sister because of a mental disease that I gave him or her.

    I also don’t think that mine and FI’s careers would mesh with children.  I am about to be an attorney (5 months left of law school!  Woo!) and he is a chef.  I will always work days.  He will always work nights.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Mrs Grape  I dislike it when people make me hold babies too.  I feel like I have to hold their baby… and babies are so much work!  I would be equally happy if we did have them or didn’t, I see good points in both ways of going.

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