Post # 1
I can’t believe I am actually posting on the pregnancy boards!
My FH and I are about 6 weeks out from the big day, and he seems to have babies on the brain. We had agreed a long time ago that we would like to wait about a year after marriage before trying and out of left field he said “lets try on the honeymoon!”. Um ya, not gonna happen. We both want children-I’m late 20’s and he is early 30’s, but I don’t feel a huge sense of urgency at this point.
We are not financially ready which is my number one issue, and we both agree on that. But I also don’t feel emotionally ready. I enjoy the freedom we have right now and being selfish. Is that bad? FH says he’s emotionally ready, but not financially.
So anyways, that was sort of a ramble, but other than the financial side-how did you know you were ready?
Post # 3
Other than financially (which was a big factor for us) we wanted to own a house, be married, travel a bit and just feel like it was the next thing for us. We were going to wait until our one year anniversary (next March) but I got a bit of baby fever and Darling Husband was more than agreeable to start trying a bit sooner. Little did we know it would only take one try!
Oh, I’m 30 and Darling Husband is 29 and have been together for 9 years, so we didn’t want to wait too much longer age wise.
Post # 4
I don’t have any great advice. Just this: I got to the point of realizing I may never feel emotionally ready and I didn’t want to miss my chance by dragging my feet. So we just went for it.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies! I know everyone says you just make it work, and I will be SOOO happy when we actually have a little one. It’s just terrifying to think about. Taking care of our dog is about as much as I can handle right now.
Post # 6
It is a really scary and big decision but it was something we had been talking about for a while. I decided to get off BC last Oct and we used protection for a couple of months until we said, hey let’s give this a try. We had been married almost 18 months at that point.
It’s the great unknown b/c you really have no idea how long it might take, if either person has fertility issues, etc. We agreed that we would never be 100% ready or prepared for a baby but knew it was something that we wanted so it was time to give it a try. Now here I am at 27 weeks. 🙂
Post # 7
I never got ready, but I’m 33, so it’s not like I have a lot of time left. So we stopped using birth control. <shrug> I’m not tracking through, so not pregnant yet.
Post # 8
I agree with Iheartnerds – you might not ever feel emotionally ready, but you’ll take the plunge anyway because you know you want kids and the timing’s pretty much right.
I think you’ll know if you feel rushed, though. I married at age 36, and after the wedding my OB said I had to get right on the horse (no pun intended). Between that and the fact that it took us nine months to get pregnant, I ended up not really enjoying the process. I even sort of resented it because I felt like we’d been robbed of that time to just be newlyweds. My daughter is now the light of my life, and I cannot imagine existing without her, but I’ll never get back that pre-children time with my husband.
My husband and I just decided to have a second baby, so we pulled the goalie and decided to be totally casual about everything — no doctors, no charting, no stress. We figured it’d take some time, so we’d just have fun with it. One month and a shared bottle of wine later, I’m pregnant again. *eye roll*
Post # 9
I didnt realize there was a TTC board too. I probably should have posted this there 🙂
Thank you for sharing your stories ladies!
Post # 10
I’m in the same boat as you. I have a lot of reservations about trying any time soon, although I feel like the clock is ticking and we need to get on it. I am not sure I’m quite ready to jump on having kids or TTC, it kind of scares me, the life changes. Part of me doesn’t feel financially ready, or even ready quite yet in our marriage and communication level to deal with the huge change that comes with having babies.
My Darling Husband on the other hand is feeling very fly by the seat of his pants-ish about it and is like “people just work it out”. I am not that kind of person though, I need a plan!
Post # 11
I was ready before Darling Husband was ready. We talked about it a lot. Then his friends started having babies, so it was on his mind. It went from maybe a year after getting married, to 6 months, to 3 months. Then we just decided to just see what happens right after the wedding. We decided that there will always be a reason to wait, but we wanted a baby and knew it would take a while for the baby to even come, so why wait. I still can’t believe that we’re going to be parents, it’s still shocking. I’m so scared and excited at the same time. To calm myself, I think about rocking my little baby to sleep and I get so happy that we decided to just see what happens after we got married.
Post # 12
The moment we said “I do” there was this visceral, deep desire to be a mother that never faded. Every time I look at Darling Husband, I just can’t wait to have a baby boy that looks just like him, with his beautiful brown eyes and crap-eating smirk he always thinks will get him out of trouble. Or a baby girl with his eyes and his huge heart… So we started trying in July (lol close enough to a year of marriage) and we are almost 5 weeks pregnant!
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
My mom says nobody is ever ready but that you’ll make due when the moment arises… or at least most do!
Post # 14
Darling Husband and I have been together 10 years but we are young so although I feel like we have enough alone time together we still have some stuff to do before a baby. He has a year left of grad school and we need a bit more time to save. My friend is in the same boat (married a year) but IS trying, kind of jealous but I am okay with waiting..