- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2006
I started a thread earlier today called “Is having no reason NOT to have kids, a good enough reason TO have kids,” but deleted it because I think there were issues with the way I worded my original question; it was oversimplified and I’m guessing a few posters got stuck on the title rather than reading all the posts/answering my questions (I mean, if you’re capable but 100% ambivilant towards kids, obviously you shouldn’t have them). The main reason I started that thread was because I was hoping to get some insights regarding how people came to the decision to TTC. So let me try this again…
Background: I am 29, Darling Husband is 30, and we both eventually want to have children. In December I decided sort of out of the blue that we should start trying soon. I bought a pile of baby books, went off BCP in January, started charting, taking prenatal vitamins and using OPKs to get to “know” my cycle again. My time frame for starting to TTC isn’t until May/June. We’re financially stable, both work from and own our home. The issue I’m struggling with is that I don’t know if NOW is the time to have kids…or a few years later? There is nothing really holding us back, but I DON’T have baby fever or an all-encompassing urge to procreate. I don’t have all-encompassing urges in general–I do my best to get what I think I want, but try not to be devastated if it doesn’t happen. I daydream about having children every day (and would be excited if a BFP happened tomorrow!), but I’m also TOTALLY OK if it doesn’t happen RIGHT NOW. Darling Husband and I are in a good place and very happy with our freedom, but would also be thrilled to have kids and to take on the sacrifices/rewards that such a life experience would bring. I’m just not positive if we are/can ever be truly “ready” or if you need to “want it badly” to be a good parent.
SO, my big questions are:
1) How did you KNOW you were ready to TTC?
2) How do you know if you’re NOT ready to TTC?