I have… 7 exes, ha. Let’s see…
#1: My high school sweetheart. Were inseperable for two years, then decided to attend different colleges. Big mistake. We were heartsick without each other, but he took it really hard. I was pre-med at the time, and I had ridiculous biology and chemistry courses. I didn’t have time for 5-hour phone conversations every night. And, too, I was meeting new people in my extracurriculars, including the man who eventually became ex #2, haha. I do think if #1 and I had gone to the same college, we would have made it. He didn’t believe in marriage, though, and while I was okay with that back then, I think I’d have a problem with it now. I would say it was just not to meant to be.
#2: Together about two years, with a 2-month break in between (when I dated ex #3). This guy was The Ex. I was crazy in love, infatuated, in-whatever, that’s what I was. He was possessive and passionate and dramatic and intelligent and romantic and slightly arrogant, very jealous, and quite selfish. He stole my heart and then made my life hell with his jealousy, distrust, and emotional ups-and-downs. I would have married him, and I would have been happy and miserable all at once. He broke up with me after I transferred to a different college. I can see, now, how his possessiveness and jealousy would have caused a LOT of problems for us down the line. He just didn’t trust me, and that would have never worked out.
#3: This guy felt about me the way I felt about ex #2. I’ll be honest, he was so good to me – good to me in a way that ex #2 never could have been. He treated me like something precious. I wanted to love him, because he would have been the right choice, but I just… didn’t. He was my best friend, but that was it. I couldn’t lead him on and make him think I felt love when I didn’t, so I broke it off and went back to my previous boyfriend.
#4: Total rebound from ex #2. I dated this man because he was easy to be around. He wasn’t that smart, and he was awkward socially, but he did his best to be nice and he genuinely cared about me. He’s my daughter’s father. Two years into our relationship, when she was four months old, I finally started coming out of the funk that ex #2 had left me in, and I realized that #4 had absolutely nothing that I wanted in a man. In fact, I started to feel a lot of disdain toward him, because personality-wise, he was just not the type of person I was actually attracted to.
#5: Awesome guy, but again, the love just wasn’t there. Sexually, we were a great match, but there’s got to be more than sex to make a relationship last. I’d hoped to preserve our friendship, but apparently he’d been harboring intense feelings that I was unaware of, and his reaction to our breakup was… alarming. So yeah, definitely just a bad match there.
#6: Another awesome guy. We started off as FWB, and just when it was starting to get the intense emotions, he informed me that he had, without my knowledge, applied to a graduate school on the opposite coast and been accepted. We broke up about a month later, and a few months after that he moved away to start his new life. I didn’t appreciate being misled like that, and I wouldn’t have wanted to stay with someone capable of keeping such a big decision from me.
#7: Also a great guy, but way hung up on his ex. We were long-distance, so it was hard seeing each other anyway, and then he had all these emotional barriers from his relationship with her. I tried, but it was just too hard trying to get him to see past his memories. And then I met my current SO, and that was that.
Wow. Looking back, it doesn’t feel nearly as tumultuous as it sounds when I write it down. Yikes! I like to think I at least got a lot of personal development out of those experiences 😛