jjbeebee : Yea. We are the opposite. None of our friends have kids yet and we have plenty of time until they do. They probably won’t have kids until they’re in their mid 30’s and I’m not willing to wait that long (neither is DH). We both want to be done having kids by the time we are 30.
mrscross1020 : Congratulations on your LO! That’s awesome that you can pinpoint when exactly you were ready for kids. It was definitely more of a gradual thing for me.
wolfeyes : Yea, our lives wouldn’t drastically change. We are very much “Home-bodies”. We will both be 24 this year. So we still have plenty of time. None of his friends have kids yet, but a ton of my friends do (have multiple kids). And I think that’s a big part of him not being emotionally ready yet. He is afraid of how it will change his relationships with his friends. Which I totally get. But I also know they have teased him about having kids and it sounds like to me that they are looking forward to us having kids.
amanda1988 : Yea, I think no one can be 100% ready in all aspects but there definitely is a different threshold for each individual. I just seemed to have reached mine a lot earlier.
Renee Hilscher : Good Luck! Sounds like the perfect time for you two!
Kate127 : We will both be 24 this year, so we have plenty of time before we need to worry about age with fertility issues. None of his friends have kids yet which is a big part of his hesitation as well as getting our house to feel like ‘home’. We just bought it in November and have been doing renovations (some small, some big) to get it to our liking. The last big reno is the kitchen. I think after that he will feel like it’s home to him. He is on track for his goals career wise and we don’t have any more vacations that we want to take childless. The funny thing is, we do have a timeline. That’s the main reason behind my question. he knows he is not ready now but he doesn’t know when he will feel emotionally ready. He knows when he wants to start trying but he doesn’t know if he will ever feel emotionally ready. I think that’s just him saying he’s scared but he is ready. But I’m scared that he is jumping the gun.
Meant2Bee : Good for you! That’s fantastic. Unfortunately none of his friends have kids (or are married). So he would be going to my friends’ husbands. Good luck with TTC!!
railroaderwifeyxo : That’s great! We actually have the same timeline. We are starting TTC in August. Which sounds weird I know since I’m asking how he will know when he is ready, but he has said he ‘knows he will be ready in August’. That’s why I’m confused because how does he know?!?!?! I don’t want to start trying before he is ready. I just don’t understand how he supposedly ‘knows’ he will be ready when he is not ready now. Nothing significant is happening between now and then besides house projects.
WesterosBarbie : THIS!! YOUR DH IS AMAZING! I know DH is willing to do those things as well because he does them already with my nanny-kids and my little cousins. I know he is already good with kids and so does he. I’m so glad it was an actual moment for you. That sounds awesome. I’m just worried it will never be a moment for my DH and he won’t ever feel completely ready.
Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate it! I just get so confused because DH is saying two completely different things and I’m worried he has only set a timeline because he knows I’m ready. I want to make sure he is ’emotionally’ ready because that would suck and totally create resentment towards me if he wasn’t. I just don’t get how he can know he will be ready by August when he says that if we got pregnant now, he would be ‘scared shitless but excited too’