How did you know/decide when you were ready?

posted 5 months ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
392 posts
Helper bee

Just saw that you mentioned you both will be 24 this year, so I assume both 23 now? So I am not at all surprised that your DH is not ready for children. Many men (and women) would not be ready for children at that age.

Honestly, I thought I was ready at that age…because it was more of a biological urging. But we waited a few more years…and I am so thankful for it.

Now, we are 29 and 30. We have done a lot of things, saved up money, matured and our friends are in a similar stage of life as well. 

I just found out this week that I am pregnant. I am hoping and praying this one will be a successful pregnancy. We actually decided to start trying last Fall. It was a little bit on a whim, but it was after we had some serious conversations about being ready, having our ducks in a row and setting a few goals. We actually got pregnant on our first try and sadly lost it early. It reaffirmed though that we were really ready for a baby.

I have been truly ready for about the past year. DH has left it up to me to decide when to start trying. I think he felt that way because he is in his 30’s, stable and ready for kids whenever (he actually works with 10-12 year olds, so he is used to children). 

For your DH, it will likely take time. It’s impossible for us to know how long…but give him the space and time. I know it will be frustrating, but 24 is very young, especially for men. It’s possible he may not be ready until his late 20’s. 

I just know, the worst thing you could do is convince him to have a child before he is ready. While he will likely (and hopefully) step up, he may be a bit resentful. So being patient a little while longer might be frustrating now, but will end up being much better in the end for you, your DH and your future children.

Post # 18
Member
2172 posts
Buzzing bee

My body clock has just started nagging at me after I realised I’m turning 31 in 6 weeks, and it probably didn’t help hearing it could be harder to conveive now that I’m left with only one fallopian tube.

We are homebodies, we are happy to spend our nights together with a baby instead of going out , we don’t feel like we have to ‘sacrifice’ anything (except sleep lol) to have babies. We feel like we’ve  traveled enough, we can financially support a child.. Now that we are married it feels like the right time to start the next chapter for us.

 

Post # 19
Member
2378 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m 26, and DH is 29 right now.  We still have a few things that we want to do before we TTC.  We want to buy a house, I want to pass a big career exam, and we have a couple trips we want to do.  Our plan is to TTC after those things- which should be in about a year and half.  We’ll be 28 and 31 by then.

We both feel ‘ready’ now, but we really want to have our house first and enjoy a bit more time as a married couple.

Post # 20
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee

afenimore11 :  

I asked my husband the same thing, how can you know when you are ready. But men think differently than women, they either are ready or they arent.

for instance I am on BC, and yesterday I was supposed to start my pack and my husband told me not too. We are moving to a new place in May and he told me to stop my pack. I was so confused, but I did anyways.

I was so excited for the timeline I had and now he’s like “Now is ok.” LOL

I’m not complaining tho.

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