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How did you negotiate the holidays?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    Holidays are upon us and many of us have 2 families now... So I'm wondering, how did you negotiate where to go for the holidays?

    We solved the problem this year by the fact that I'm working Christmas and we have no PTO to leave Seattle for Thanksgiving... so we're staying here (and going to his cousin's for T-giving dinner).

    How did you decide?

     
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    mtyler24    November 10, 2012   Houston, TX

    I'd love to hear more, we're in a fight right now b/c of Thanksgiving. He hasn't come home with me the past few trips I've made home (a good drive) and want's to go to his brother's (another drive).

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    We haven't decided yet, haha. This year just kind of worked out because we decided to spend Christmas in New Mexico with his mom's family, and we are spending thanksgiving with our own families...after this year though we have no idea what we're going to do!

     
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    Valhalla    June 26, 2010   Vancouver, British Columbia

    This is a big struggle for us, which I complained about in another thread already. MrsDG, I believe you are a physician, correct? How have you and your husband dealt with shift work and the holidays? I am a soon to be nurse, so while this Christmas isn't a problem, next Christmas most certainly will be a source of contention. It will be our first Christmas as a married couple, but he works M-F, 9-5 and gets a mandatory week off at Christmas. Both our families live in across the country from us. He is already saying he wants to go home. I don't want to be by myself next Christmas, but I feel its unfair to ask him to stay if I end up working a set of four 12 hours shifts over the holidays.

    Sigh - holidays are complicated.

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    Holidays are complicated.  In my current group, we are required to work 3 holidays a year.  I almost always choose to work Christmas, but I know that's not going to fly with Mr. DG anymore after this year.

    I'll just have to rotate which holidays I have off.  Christmas one year, thanksgiving the next etc...  but I love thanksgiving so much that I like to have it off...  Small sacrifice for my honey, I suppose :)

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    last year we had huge issues because he was on call the day before and after (he works in a plant) and i was going home and he didn't go with (HUGE FIGHT)... this year we're visiting his family on Thanksgiving and he's coming home with me on Christmas.... next year I think we'll switch the holidays, but we'll see... My mom LOVES to see my son at Christmas.  This year my son will split Christmas with my family and his daddy (:() I'll miss him sooo much but at least we get to spend Christmas morning together with him opening gifts.

     
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    cola    June 12, 2010   Married in Woodside, CA, Now Living in Raleigh, NC

    We haven't figured out what we'll do after we're married yet. But this year we're spending Thanksgiving with my family, since they live locally, and we'll spend Christmas apart. But I'll be flying up early on Dec 26th to spend a few days after Christmas with his family. A decent compromise for now, but no idea what we'll decide next year. I don't think it matters quite as much if you don't have kids.

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Well this is easy for us and actually our families holiday season fits perfectly together! For Thanksgiving his family does it really early ... like come over at noon and serve at 2pm and my family likes to eat around 4 or so ... so we go to his first and mine after!

    Christmas ... not so sure but his family always has a huge xmas eve party and mine does it big on xmas day.

    Perfect mesh!

     
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    arizonabride    June 2, 2010   Tucson, AZ

    Last year FI's parents paid for us to fly back and we stayed for 10 days. I think we are going to have to switvh off every year for Christmas. Thanksgiving is another story. My b-day always falls around it so I'm not willing to say we are going to fly back to ME and be gone for my birthday that often. The planes go both ways:-)

     

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