how did your parents react?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: were your parents shocked/supportive?
    very shocked : (2 votes)
    1 %
    mildly shocked : (13 votes)
    9 %
    they knew it was coming : (55 votes)
    37 %
    they were supportive : (66 votes)
    44 %
    they were indifferent : (12 votes)
    8 %
    they were not supportive : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    I was in my mid-20s when we were engaged. My parents had steadily been growing angry toward my now-husband because they felt he was taking too long to make a “proper” woman of me – we lived together for just over a year before we were engaged, and by that point, we had been together for nearly 4 years.

    Our engagement mostly seemed to bring relief to them: “Oh thank God, we’re actually marrying her off.”

    Prior to the engagement, my dad would mostly make comments like, “When is he ever going to marry you?” and “What’s the hold-up?” He could get pretty fired up about that at times.

    Then, after the engagement, my husband became a “good guy,” a fully fledged person, since he had finally taken that next step.

    Age plays a big role, as well as family culture, in the amount of support you get.

    Post # 4
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My dad was really suportive and happy, i guess when FI asked his permisison he said “I think thats a F*ckin Fantastic idea! and my dad doesnt cure much 🙂 .. my mom asked me if i was pregnant… she was mad because my dad didnt tell her that FI asked his permissioin.. (probably becuase he knew she would think i was preganant, she thinks thats the only reason people get married)

    Post # 5
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My mother has been indifferent at best. She didn’t say anything, nor has she congratulated us (we’ve been engaged for 16 months).

    Post # 6
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @swisea01:  Mine didn’t care one way or the other.  I think my mom said “Oh, that’s nice.”

    Post # 7
    Member
    7262 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    My family all kind of knew it was coming, but i would say his dad was mildly shocked. Everyone was really happy for us and supportive.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    My dad was excited, and my mom was very confused at first… we told her right after she woke up from a nap and she thought we were playing a joke on her (it was Christmas Day).  After the initial confusion, both of our families were very supportive. Minus my DH’s mother, with whom he has a poor relationship and whom I didn’t meet until about a month before the wedding, despite the fact we’d been together for 4 years.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    FI apparently told everyone in the world that he had bought a ring, so my parents/his parents/some friends already knew.

    When I went to my parents house to show them the ring, I found out that my mom had come to town and was with him when he bought it.

    It wasn’t much of a shock to anyone really, after being together for almost 7 years, the reaction we got most was like “Congrats!! It’s about damn time!!”

    We are both 29, and my mom and FI’s mom are super happy and supportive because they are now closer to getting the grandbabies they keep asking us for! LOL

    Post # 10
    Member
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @swisea01:  My parents were very happy and supportive. They knew it was coming, we had bought our first house together last year, so it was definitely coming at some point. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We had been together for 6.5 years when we got engaged, however we are 23 so it wasn’t unexpected, but it also wasn’t like ‘it’s about time’. My parents knew it was coming, and they are very happy for us, my entire extended family is happy for us because they like FI. FI’s mother on the other hand was shocked and has been really unsupportive. I don’t know if his dad was surprised or not, but he has been very supportive. It’s a bit awkward interacting with them right now because his dad is all ‘welcome to the family’ and his mom stands there with her arms crossed glowering at me.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My parents knew it was coming, it was 100% the un-surprise of the century. They are still really supportive though!

    Post # 13
    Member
    9529 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    They were freakin’ exstatic. They love my fiance. And we’d been dating for 5 years at the time. They knew we ahd been discussing marriage. And my fiance talked to them before he proposed. And I was 29 at the time. Nobody was surprised. I got more “it’s about time!” than anything else. Honestly I think it helps that when I was youger I had a long term boyfriend that my family really hated, so they really appreciate my fiance. Honestly, there are times I think that if anything were to happen (God forbit!) they might well side with him and disown me. I’m only partially joking about that. No, I’m joking. Mostly. But it was really nice to have everyone on both sides of the family so supportive of the engagement and marriage.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4817 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    They knew because my FI got an heirloom stone that was in my family so they had to know! They were very excited and have been super supportive!

    Post # 15
    Member
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    My parents knew it was coming and they’re very supportive, but their immediate reaction was more along the line of, “Oh, it’s finally official? Congratulations, even though you’ve been talking about getting married for years and we pretty much considered you engaged already.”

    His parents are divorced, and we don’t talk to his mom much, but she was happy for us. His dad’s immediate reaction was basically, “Oh. Umm. Okay.”

    Post # 16
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    My family knew it was coming but they were still super shocked and happy. My mom’s response was something along the lines of “OMG are you kidding me?! Don’t joke around about this! OMG I’m so happy!!”

    My dad is really reserved so I didn’t expect much but he was also super happy.

    I’m late 20’s and they knew that it’s the right guy and right time.

    ETA: His mom cried when we told her and his dad said that my fiance is a lucky man and he’s glad he’s making it official and congratulated me

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