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I've always dreamed of having one of those moments like you see in the movies: the man proposes, the woman squeals and says yes, and then they call their parents. The mom starts crying, squealing, laughing, getting all excited about it.
In my family? This would not happen. Don't get me wrong - I love my mom and dad - they're great and supportive. They're much more rational and questioning than they are emotional/ecstatic about things. To tell them I want to get married, the response would be more like "are you sure?" "have you thought about ____?" "why now?" Etc. They don't mean anything bad by it - they are just trying to make sure I make the right choices. A lil anticlimactic though, don't you think!
So I'm just wondering.. what happened when you announced it to your fam?
My FI's family and I got along really well until a few months prior to our engagement. They were all so lukewarm, it wasn't even funny. Mr. Dan did an AMAZING job picking out my ring, and they barely even gave it a once-over! We have been engaged for a year, and only once have they asked about the wedding.
My mom was dissappointed, as she thinks marriage is an out-dated institution. At least we were excited!
Well, my FI told them all (except 1 sister - I have 4) about the proposal before it happened, and I think the general response was congrats, excitment, and a lot of "It's about time!".. we have been dating for 7 years.. and his mom actually reacted the same way.
My 1 sister that heard it from me, however, was all excited and in tears for parts of my proposal story. It was over the phone, so I actually interuppted myself to ask, "Are you crying? WHY are you crying??" I think she's just overly sensitive, though. =]
My parents were happy. My sister, not so much. She had recently gotten engaged to her bf of 4 years and thought that my FH and I were rushing (we had known each other less than a year). She was very vocal to me, my family, my FH, and anyone that would listen. She is now married and is my MOH and has gotten used to the idea, has gotten to know my FH better and although she isn't apologetic about her past behavoir is trying to make up for it now.
@ms tofu - that's so sweet!
@dannyb417 - damn, that sucks. But as long as you guys are excited, that's what matters! I hope things get better between your F-IL's and you!
My Family was really excited! They knew before it happened, and had such a hard time keeping the secret inside. Afterwards they were full of congratulations, as was my extended family! My FI family on the other hand were happy for us, but didn't seem at all excited. I know that they like me, so I can't imagine the lack of excitement had to do with disappointment, I guess they are just not as excitable as my family!
globetrottingbride_dora_2.jpg (8.1 KB, 35 downloads) 2 years old
@chela429 - sounds like she thought you were 'stealing her thunder'. Jealousy's hard - i hope she continues to be better!
Aerika - Your FI's fam sounds like my fam. I never know how happy they are, 'cause they're just not very excitable. But they're my family and I love em.
My parents had been a party to my 4/5 months of "I'm a little annoyed that he hasn't proposed" talks. So they were really happy and releived when chicagohusband proposed! They said lots of congrats, but no squealing or crying (also just not their personalities).
Bubbles.jpg (4.5 KB, 23 downloads) 2 years old
I can't believe I'm about to post this because it is the worst picture of me EVER ... but this is a picture of my mom handing me the DOZEN wedding magazines she accumulated over the two weeks between when my fiance asked for my parents permission (so traditional) and the surprise party that all of our family and friends were invited to immediately after he proposed. It's a big stack of magazines!
Needless to say everyone was amazingly excited and since it was so soon (literally I thought we were just going out to dinner, but I was surprised by 30 of our family and friends at the restaurant!) it overwhelmed me like woah!
wedmags.jpg (58.8 KB, 103 downloads) 3 years old 
Mine don't actually know yet (I don't have a ring yet, and I wanted to wait to "announce" it until I do), but I voted "They were thrilled!" because I know they will be. My family LOVES my FI and his family loves me, and our parents even love each other. Srsly, it's a lovefest. My mom will probably cry, even if I just tell her over the phone. She cries at the drop of a hat about any happy or sad event related to her children. :-)
Some members of my family might be a bit surprised, since I'm a little younger than I thought I would be when I got married, but no one will be unhappy. (I'm also the youngest sibling in my immediate family and will be the first of us to be married.)
My mom and dad already knew. Fi called my parents in Cali only to find out my dad was on a business trip to VA. My mom was so excited she called my aunt (but later told me she told no one). Than she called my brother. FI proposed in Vegas (my brother was in Vegas too) so i called him and he goes "Oh yeah mom already told me." She was so excited. My grandma cried and was so excited.
I didn't have such a positive reaction from my parents. I have rather traditional asian parents, and they have always been super protective and strict. When I told them about the engagement they treated the situation as if I had told them I found a boyfriend. They kept trying to tell me that I don't know my fiance well enough (I've been with my fiance for 3.5 years now) and that I deserve someone better. Of course this makes no sense to me since my parents only knew each other for a month before getting married. It's been a tough battle, and I'm trying to include more details about the wedding in baby steps. I feel like there's more pressure for me because I will be their first daughter to marry someone Asian (three other sisters have been with and married caucasians). Sigh. I'm glad that I have the support of my in laws and friends to get me through this.
My parents were BEYOND excited when we got engaged. FI asked their permission first so they knew ahead of time (he waited about two wks later) and in the meantime like Humarock, my mom purhcased magazines, books, etc. Other family members and friends were pretty excited.
No one was partuclarly surprised, though, since we'd been dating for 7 years. We got a few "it's about damn time" comments!
FI's family is not as ushy gushy as mine and while excited, they were not crying tears of joy. They also knew in advance and his mom helped with the ring!
Mom, FILs, and Mom's best friends (who are like family to me) were all there when FI proposed and were SUPER excited. My dad was a little surprised (parents are not/never were married) but supportive. The big downer was FSIL. We're a year appart in age and I adore her. She is also very protective of her brother. She knew the proposal was coming but couldn't come to the event where he proposed because she was on tour with her band. When we called to tell her the news, her reaction was less than enthusiastic. To make a long story short, she realized she kinda needed to get over it. She was having relationship troubles of her own, but realized that shouldn't affect how she felt about our engagement. We had a few rough weeks after the engagement (it really tore me up inside) but we had a nice long talk/cry and have been great ever since. She's a bridesmaid and I can't wait to finally have a sister!
OMG humarockbride that's so awesome and cute that your mom and Erindesmar's had all those magazines. she must have been bursting at the seams wanting to celebrate with you!!
@chaiAnkh99 - that's awesome!! Even your parents get along with each otther - sweet! Ours live in different regions of the country, so they've never met. But I think they'll get along alright.
@Betabride - funny about your mom! I totally know how that is to have a 'secret' and want to spill to everyone.
@Yin - I am not asian, but I think my parents are very protective too - they want to make sure I am with the right person, etc. They don't want me to get hurt or get myself into a situation that I can't get out of. As frustrating as it can be, I know it's just because they love me, though it translates into them not trusting my feelings/instincts, etc.
@EAQ219 - That's great! I've felt the way your FSIL was - when someone gives me all this happy news, I just want to punch them because I wish something good like that were happening in MY life. But I try to put on a happy face, and it sounds like your FSIL and you have worked it out so that's awesome!
My parents apparently got really excited when he asked for their blessing the day before. My father was teary eyed and my mom was thrilled!
By the time I told them, they were still excited, but the giddy had worn off. :(
but that's great that they were so happy in the first place! My mom took some convincing - not so much that he was the right guy, but that i was ready for this. but now she's happy.
MarquiseMiss - my family is the exact same way. My fiancee's feelings were really hurt because when he told my mom he was proposing, she didn't seem excited. I had to eventually tell him she just doesn't get excited. She is just a little bit skeptical about that kind of stuff. She just needed some time to warm up and get into wedding planning. But she still asks me all the time "are you sure about this?" When I told her a while ago that was making me mad she said "I just want you to always know you have an out if you need it" and I could appreciate that. So I just let her say it now.
@ChaiAnkh99: Be careful about not telling your parents yet!! My mom found out by googling me and finding my BB&B registry webpage!! She was not happy to find out that way, but she's excited now!
His mom was more than thrilled. My mom was happy about it. My stepmom seemed happy and congratulated us. My dad did not and still has not said one word about it. He's always seemed to like my fiance, so I'm not sure what his lack of response means. Other than that, our families have been very supportive.
lilac_room.jpg (467.3 KB, 27 downloads) 2 years old 
my mom said: "OMG, I was going to suggest that! CONGRATULATIONS!" 
we've been together for 7 yrs. ;)
Everyone was pretty thrilled and more like 'it's about time!!!" since we've been dating for 8 years.
MIL was surprised that he would do a romantic proposal beause she never thought he had any romantic genes in him :)
I am one of those lucky girls who had the sobbing mother AND father AND sister! My Aunt started jumping up and down while I was telling her on the phone and my brother announced loudly to his college rommates that his sister just got enagaged! It was a long time coming though, we had been together for nearly 7 years by the time he proposed, and everyone knew it was coming. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way
I was proposed to at about 3am....so I had to keep it to myself for about 3 hours until I felt like it was late enough to wake my poor mother, who responded with: "hmm-huh? what? WHAT??!? WHAAAAAT?!?!" and then lots of laughing and cheering. But it was hilarious, because she was very confused when I first woke her up and I had to repeat myself several times.
My family reacttion was definitely happy but there were no tears or screaming or anything like that. My mom was really skeptical of my FH when we first started dating (only because he was older than my oldest bro and was divorced with 2 kids) but now she treats him like he's her own.
My FMIL just wanted to make sure we are doing the right thing. She saw how crappy his divorce was and just wants to make sure he doesn't have to go through that again. She does like me a lot though and is starting to get really excited about the wedding.
While I really wish the whole unveiling of the engagement went differently (we had just goten back from a cruise, I was really tired and kept waving my hand in front of everyone but NOBODY noticed until finally I blurted out "he proposed, see my ring??", and with his dad I was telling my friend about bridesmaid dresses and his dad overheard before FI could tell him - like I knew he was down the hall??) they all were really happy. We're already a part of each others familys, so it was the logical next step. While the money situation gets worse and worse (we are pretty much paying for the entire wedding since my dads hours got cut and my mom might lose her job) we're still gung-ho about it and I think all said and done I can pull it off for 5k or under. I definitely got the squeally giggly happiness from my friends though, so I guess that made up for the not so stellar announcement to the parents.
My parents already knew since my husband asked for my dad's permission. My dad certainly can't keep a secret either! So when I had called, my parents were excited, but not over the top. And even though my SIL helped my husband pick out the ring, she was elated when I showed up and she noticed. His parents were excited too...his mom more than his dad, just b/c that's the way his dad is.
I was hoping my engagement would be a happy subject but I knew better when I hinted to my mother one evening that my FI was looking at rings and her immediate reation was anger that the day he proposed was going to be a day of mixed emotions. When it finally happened my sister told my mother before I did and apparently she cried (but not happy tears). Both her and my sister didn't talk to me for weeks. My mother told my entire family not to congratulate me. All I had were my friends and my fiance's family happy and excited.
After about a month of not talking we finally began to converse but I still wasn't allowed to bring up wedding plans until about 4 months after the engagement. My mother still has mixed feelings... she says he's the guy you date, not marry. Her sole concearn is he doesn't have a steady career, he is a tennis instructor and coach so his paycheck varies and he doesn't make a lot to begin with. He does however have a college degree and comes from a well to do family. He's never hurt me or taken advantage of me and he supports every decision I make, which is more than I can say for my mom.
Finally in the fall, after we purchased a home together she has come to realize I am an adult (25 years old), I am mature enough to make this decision and if she wants me in her life she is just going to have to accept me and my FI. She keeps her negative comments to herself and now she's even paying for the majority of the wedding which I did not expect at all. I love her very much and I hope someday she will be able to fully accept my hubby and be realeased from her negative thoughts and fears.
Hhmm...where to begin
Told my dad, he laughed and congratulated us, told my mom, she stayed quiet, then said good luck in a sarcastic tone, (my parents are divorced), told my aunt, she had the same reaction as my mom, told my cousin, she said as least this ring is better than my promise ring. Told my brother, he had the reaction as my dad, told FI mom, she was overjoyed, she then in turned told everybody in his family, (they are a close family). It is now almost a year and a half later and we are getting married in July. My dad who was happy for us, has now been killed by a drunk driver (ironically on our anniversary, June 8th), so we waited a year and here we are. My mother (Florida) says she can't come because she afraid to fly and she hasn't any money, the same story with my aunt, (California) (mind you, she flew to Maine when her daughter lived there twice a year) and the reason my mother and aunt give for my cousin is that she doesn't work and her husband just got a job in an uncertain economy. That I can understand, but she is old enough to answer for herself. So, so far it is just my brother, coming from california, who lives on his own. So much like my dad, willing to give until he can't. I love my brother. So, my FI's family and my brother have been pretty much the only support we have.
I want to be mean, but I know my brother and dad would be very disappointed in me, and they mean the world to me. So I'll be nice. While I grind my teeth to fine points for round two. The baby years.
flockblackrunnerl.jpg (149.3 KB, 29 downloads) 2 years old 
Mine were shocked.
They love my husband, I'm the problem. I've never been one for commitment- but I've never met anyone like my husband. It's like all the goodness in the universe passes through his body (I'm not kidding- he's THAT nice, and funny, and cute, and smart... I could go on...) I was a little shocked myself. I planned on joining the military after college, and thought for sure we would part ways- when it came time though he decided to join too and here we are!
taranchula, I'm sorry to hear about your father. It's really great you're being the bigger person. I'm sure you will have a beautiful wedding- I wish you the best!
Our families are super excited. Even though we've only been dating a year, my Dad's been asking me for 6 months when it was going to happen! And I think his mom gave up all hope that he'd ever get married (he's 39) so she was crying and all excited.
Mr. FF family was so excited and his mom can't wait to go dress shopping and is enjoying helping me plan a wedding..
My parents don't care and don't want anything to do with it. But I barely talk to them. They will come to the wedding and be the "show" parents but other then that nothing. Which is okay cause that is how it is..
At least I have Mr. FF family who I love so very dearly...
ring_pillow.jpg (8.2 KB, 29 downloads) 2 years old
We lived 850 miles away from my parents home when FI was ready to pop the question. When my family came for a visit a month before my birthday, he asked my parents for their blessing, then told him his entire engagement plan! EVERYONE already knew! My entire family, all of my friends, everyone! He asked on my birthday, so first of all, noone called me to say happy birthday, and I was kind of bummed out because I thought they had forgotten. When I was calling around, they were all very happy, but I guess there was not the element of suprise for them. Honestly, I am so suprised they were able to keep it together and not spill the beans!
@ taranchula: I'm so sorry. :( That's really rough. Your brother and dad sound like wonderful people and I'm glad your brother is there to support you now that your dad can't. Best of luck to you and your fiance!
My parents are divorced and are rather cynical about marriage in general (having been married more than once each), so they were kinda quietly happy when Mr. Spin asked for their permissions (he called both, separately, before proposing, which I thought was a pretty tactful move, actually ^_^). We're a pretty undemonstrative family, so I wasn't surprised by their less than enthusiastic response. It's just how they are. But I know they like Mr. Spin, so that's good enough for me. ^_^
I actually just had a discussion with my sister recently about how it feels like dad doesn't care that we're getting married, that his reluctance to talk about our impending nuptials and cynicism towards marriage in general is making me feel like he doesn't care at all about us specifically. She mentioned it to him, and he didn't realize that it coming off that way. So he's gone out of his way recently to say how happy he is for us and how much he likes and respects Mr. Spin, so that means a lot to me. ^_^
Thank you so much Maureen9004 and SpinningJenny!
Bless you both for your words of love and care and I wish all of you ladies beautiful days of joy and happiness. It is wonderful to read all of your stories and hear that there are still families (one form or another,) that can still find a way to be happy for us. (Even if its a sister would who takes the time to let papa know! ) SpinningJenny, you are very lucky to have a such a loving sister!
Our engagement was a HUGE surprise... no one knew! He proposed when we were in Japan, we had been living there for a year and were a few days from coming home when he popped the question. We decided it would be much better not to tell anyone and surprise them when our entourage came to pick us up at the airport. And that is exactly what we did! We came through customs face to face with all 4 parents, my brother and sister, my 4 grandparents, his aunt, and held up my hand and said "Guess What?!" Needless to say everyone was so so excited!
FI didn't go the traditional route and ask for my parents blessing first. In fact, he didn't tell anyone he was propsoing, not even his best friend, so everyone was surprised. My family was thrilled and relieved it finally happened! I got to call my aunts and some of them started crying on the phone which was adorable and touching. His family had more of a "It's about time!" reaction, but in the best way possible.
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