Post # 1
I’m a waiting bee and I am just curious… how long were you together and how did the topic of a wedding come up? did you initiate it or did he?
we have not actually come out and said lets plan a wedding… mine SO says things like “I want to spend my life with you” & sometimes I’ll say things in general about what my friends are doing for their weddings etc and he tells me what he wants.. it’s kind of cute!!
I would love to hear your experinces!!
Post # 3
I honestly don’t remember. What I do remember is how he said one night that “You’re the one”. I don’t think we talked about marriage until 3-4 months after that when I moved in. We were together 9 months when he decided he wanted to marry me.
Post # 4
He initiated it. I think we were in the kitchen making dinner and he said “So… what if we got married?” We both decided to do a courthouse wedding since neither of us wanted to accept the control that comes with letting others fund your big day.
Post # 5
The topic of a wedding never really came up… but marriage deff did!
My FI and I take things very slowly (in every aspect of our relationship). I had been thinking that he was the one I wanted to spend my life for a while, but I was nervous about bringing it up to him. Just before our 4 year anniversary he told me he had been thinking about our future and getting married. Then the official proposal came about a year and a half later. 🙂
Post # 6
Immigration. We realized we couldn’t afford flying back and forth every month like we’d planned and I had brought up a month earlier that I was crazy enough to move there if he was crazy enough to support me. Lucky for me, he is indeed crazy enough and it didn’t scare him at all. Looked at immigration options and marriage was the only real option we had. We discussed and realized we wanted to get married! Almost time now! 🙂
I don’t recommend the headachey process of immigration to anyone though. It’s been a nightmare!
Post # 7
I initiated it. When we started dating I was adament on the fact that I didn’t want to get married. I’ve had really bad relationships and a bad vision of marriage from my parents that I just didn’t want it. Sadly a family tragedy on his side caused my change of heart. My FI is someone who isn’t very emotional, he doesn’t share his feeling and is usually the rock in any situation for his family. The funeral was the first time I had ever seen him cry and he really allowed me to comfort him and I just knew that he’s the one. So I changed my mind, told him and after some time he agreed. This was about a year and some odd months after we were officially together 🙂
Post # 8
We didn’t talk much about it honestly. We hadn’t been dating long so I was too nervous to bring it up. We were living together and I was obsessed with wedding shows so we’d both say things about what we liked and disliked about weddings here and there, but the proposal was pretty surprising b/c we hadn’t really discussed it yet!
Post # 9
He randomly said “so at our wedding we’ll do it like x” while I was watching Four Weddings. A few more comments like that and I asked him one day during work hwile on facebook chat if his comments meant what i thought they did and he said yes…and then we talked about what kind of wedding we would want and 2.5 months later we got engaged.
Post # 10
We were together for 3 years before getting engaged (we’ll be together for 5 years officially when we get married). Im pretty open and honest about things so as soon as I fell in love with him (and I can pretty much pinpoint the day I knew I loved him) I was like “OMG I love you and I need you and I want to be with you forever”. I took him a few months to come around but I remember the first time he kind of opened up. He was visiting me (we went to college together but I graduated before him so we did semi-long distance – 1.5 hours driving distance – for my first year of grad school) and we were coming home from the market one night and he said something like, “Ive always wanted to do this type of stuff with someone but never had anyone that wanted to do it with me” (the gist of the comment was, he felt like he was creating a home with someone – getting groceries, cooking (we both LOVE to cook), snuggling, etc. – not just sleeping in his girlfriends apartment). I brought him home for Thanksgiving a month later and it was a done deal. from there on out we always talked about getting married and growing old together and still do 🙂
Post # 11
Well, the first time my DH brought up marriage, it was January 1st after we woke up with the sun. We had only been dating since October, so it was really fresh and new in the relationship. He asked me, “where do you see this going?” Wondering if I had any inclination to make it long-term or permanent. But at 3 months, I wasn’t even thinking he was serious. But since then, he would make comments always about us, and building a home, etc. February rolled around, and we went to Florida together for a week. He mentioned he was “seeing how it would be to live together” to test out the water, I suppose.
Early on, he knew right away that he was winding up with me as his Mrs. I needed some time, however. By about 3 years in, I began taking him seriously, and the next thing I knew, we were ring shopping. It still blows my mind that we got married 2 months ago.
Post # 12
I brought it up the 1st time about a year and a half in. I told him I wanted him to know that I wasn’t the type to wait around for years on end, twiddlin my thumbs, hoping he wants the same thing for our future. I told him that I wanted him to know I wanted to eventually get married and asked him how he felt about it. That was our 1st conversation. The BIG things I typically bring up. But he’s the one that always randomly brings up things like how many guests, who would be he best man, what it costs, when we’d have kids.
Post # 13
Claireos you and I are exactly the same regarding this!! I could have wrote what you did. : )
I brought it up again last night. I don’t want someone to feel pressured into marriage but I also told him I feel we get one go at life and at a point into your relationship it’s either working for it’s not.
we are 1.5 years in now and I agree. I have no intention sitting around for severeal years while we decide yes… no… maybe…
I’m a firm believer if it takes you that long to decide then maybe you are hoping something is there that isn’t.
Now this does not apply to all situtaions. We have been already living together for over a year.
Post # 14
I can’t remember who initiated marriage/wedding talk, probably talking about somebody else and then either one of us said “that’s what we don’t/do want” etc. It probably started coming up 8-12 months into the relationship with small remarks and progressed from there. After 1 1/2 – 2 years we started seriously talking that we’d like to spend the rest of our lives together and that when he was ready, I would be as well. He proposed at 2 years and 9 months.
Post # 15
I remember when it happened, we were about 5 months in, driving in his Jeep Cherokee to Pittsburgh to see his dad and step mom for the Holidays and it was this awesome, sunny day, and for some reason we started talking about who would be in our wedding parties and it went from there. I’m pretty sure he initiated, but I definitely kept the ball rolling.
We spoke more seriously about it several times after that, maybe once every 6 months or so. He proposed 2.5 years into our relationship.
Post # 16
We actually broke up for a few months. And once we got back together he immediately started bringing it up. We got engaged a year later.