(Closed) How did/do you keep your pregnancy a secret?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh wow Oracle!  Update and let me know!  πŸ™‚ 

For me, I kind of avoided everyone.  I am an open book, honestly.  It wasn’t too hard to avoid in a way because I was so sick for the first 3 months.  I spent a lot of time on my couch.

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I just kept reminding myself of how difficult it would be to deal with the questions and the letdown if we miscarried. I told my absolute nearest and dearest whom I could trust to keep ten secret, my mom, dad, 2 bestest friends, and DHs parents. We waited until about 14 weeks before we told others. 

Post # 6
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mrsSonthebeach:  same as me. The early pregnancy stage is so unpredictable that it is really better to keep it quiet. Once you have a few people to talk to about it, there really is no need to tell anyone else. And the first few months will fly.

I just had my first scan today, and now that I am 14 weeks Im safe to tell anyone I wish but I am not looking forward to becoming public property and having to listen to random peoples advice and stories.

Post # 7
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

well, this is probably one thing you won’t want to overshare. It’s really sweet to keep it close, letting only your inner circle know (and swearing them to secrecy!)

like someone else mentioned, follow this guideline: don’t tell anyone that you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to about a possible loss.

that being said, since this was unplanned, and you are self-admittedly a CFBC gal, then you’ll have to also be deciding whether or not you’ll be keeping the baby, if you are pregnant.

Post # 8
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@oracle:  I come on the bee and get my fill of baby talk, otherwise I would probably burst at the seems. I already told one person but that’s because she had a great OB/GYN and I only had a GYN. So…thats it.

Post # 9
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I hope more people reply to this because I’m the same way. I don’t even get “confirmed” until tomorrow but I’ve  told so many people already.. With my first pregnancy, I was young and it was not planned so I kind of didn’t have a choice but to keep it secret. My mom didn’t even know until I was 18 weeks.

 

This time though, it’s different. We’ve been TTC for almost a year and so when I got my BFP, I was so excited and told some close friends and family already. Part of me wishes I didn’t but everyone is so excited for me it makes me feel so much better about telling them.

 

If knock on wood, something does happen, I know they’ll all be there for me.. 

 

I’m gonna try and hold off on telling the rest of the world though (Facebook) until after the first trimester.. Keyword: try.

 

Sorry if I’m not really giving you the advice you’re looking for.. What I’m trying to say is, if that’s how you are, you know… an “open book”, don’t feel like you HAVE TO keep it secret, unless you want to. Do what makes you happy πŸ™‚

 

Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

It really helped to join the due date month group on here to have other ladies to talk about our pregnancies with before I let the cat out of the bag! We did tell our mothers and siblings, though, and a couple of other close friends that we would want to know even if something went downhill. It can be REALLY hard not to just tell everyone! It always seemed like it was on the top of my tongue, haha.

Post # 11
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I honestly just avoided people for the most part.

We told our immediate families right away because DH insisted, but they were sworn to secrecy and did surprisingly well.

We kept social gatherings to a minimum for those first few weeks and we finally went to a good friend’s housewarming party shortly before we planned to announce and told a few select people there, only because our friend was pouting that I didn’t want to try her jell-o shots and I am a terrible liar. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m having a really hard time not sharing, but what helps me is the thought that the time will go by quickly and it will be so much easier sharing the news when I’m less worried about the risks. 

When I’m with my friends I really try to focus on finding out what’s new with them to help me avoid spilling the beans.

The time will go by quickly and before you know it the first trimester will be over and you’ll be able to share.  At least that’s what I keep telling myself! 

Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I am keeping it a secret until I graduate from my RE’s care to an OB. Last summer I found out I was pregnant and told a few people who swore they wouldn’t tell. I miscarried and someone that I did NOT tell came up to me and said “I hear you’re pregnant”. I felt so uncomfortable since I didn’t tell that person to begin with that I was pregnant and then I felt like I have to explain that I miscarried. I’m a lot more secretive about it this time.

Post # 14
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It was difficult at times but I just didn’t want to face telling people if we lost the pregnancy. We told my parents and sister early on as well as SIL & BIL, and waited until later to tell FIL and MIL. We then told general public at 13 weeks.

It was hard the start but by the end I almost didn’t want to tell anyone, for some reason we had it as our little secret for so long that I didn’t want to share haha.

I also knew for about… 14 or so hours longer than my DH, and it was kind of cute having this secret between me and baby until I got a chance to tell DH. All day at work the first day I knew I kept thinking, I’m hiding such a special secret right now. It’s gets easier though, the longer you keep it a secret.

As for hiding it, I had to get creative with my wardrobe because I started to show fairly early, and I did pretend to drink alcohol on a couple of occasions so I didn’t cause suspicions but other then that it was fairly easy. People aren’t super attentive usually unless they are EXPECTING you to be pregnant and they are looking for signs.

Best of luck, whatever the outcome!

Post # 15
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

DH and I each told our best friends, we told my brother and his wife and my MIL, FIL and SIL. My best friend is PG with her second so it helps a lot to talk to her about everything. The only people that I want to tell that we haven’t are my neighbors across the street. Despite the fact that they have kids our age we’re really very close. They help out a lot and we enjoy hanging out with them. There’s always always always alcohol involved so I’m going to have to avoid them at all costs. She pours me wine even when I say no! We’ll probably tell them and one more friend each after we have the 8 week US. And then everybody else at 12 weeks. 

The hardest thing for me is going to be the fact that I currently share an office and I’m nowhere near a bathroom. Both of those are supposed to change in a couple of weeks so hopefully if I get morning sickness it will hold off until then. 

Post # 16
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s super hard. The only ones who know are my doctor and my acupuncturist. Oh, and clearly my husband. We wanted to wait until after our first u/s to tell our families, and they won’t be hearing a thing until we are about 10 weeks along (the end of this month). I have avoided a few work outings just by saying I had scheduling conflicts with DH and needed to get home for our dog etc. Also, I had my bff over a couple weekends ago and filled a few empty bottles of corona with apple juice… it’s the exact same colour! We just feel more comfortable keeping it to ourselves and sharing when we are more sure everything is a-okay. Probably won’t share with anyone until 12 weeks except for immediate family members. We are pretty private anyways, so not a huge surprise. πŸ™‚

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