How difficult is it to get your friends to make plans with you?

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly, you can only try so hard. It stinks but both people have to be making the effort. 

Post # 4
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a few friends that I feel just don’t make the effort anymore. One of them was my roommate in college. We still text daily and attended each other’s weddings. She lives two hours from me and has yet to see our home (we’ve lived here for two years) or invite me to see hers. She will even exclaim how bored she is and has nobody to go shopping with. Well, um HELLO! Call me!!

i think it’s something that just happens as we grow up. The friends that make the effort are your true friends in the long run!

Post # 5
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@elliptical2013:  Being somebody who has developed social anxiety & stuggled with depression my entire life, my first instict would be to worry that my friend was going through a rough time, rather than assume that they are over the friendship.



Post # 6
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

Sometimes it happens. People grow apart. Happens a lot in peoples 20’s. People change, etc.

Post # 7
1040 posts
Bumble bee

I have friends whom, I’ll text a specific question (“Hey, do you wanna see MOVIE TITLE this weekend?”) and it will show that the person read the text, and they never get back to me.

This weekend I was trying to get my FI and my friends together to go to a farmers market thing downtown, and I told everyone about it last weekend and txted them details and a link to the event website and they all said “sounds cool,” “sounds good,” and I heard NOTHING from them the rest of the week.

My friend “D” sucks at planning anything though. He waited until the last minute to plan his GF’s (of 2 years) birthday party (btw he didn’t even remember her birthday was. He had to look it up!!) and no one showed up, because we were all busy/broke that weekend. I felt awful for her. He took no time or thought into planning.

My other friend waits until he gets drunk by himself and then sad-texts me all night about how bored he is, and how he wishes my FI and I were hanging out with him.

I think people just grow apart. Right now my FI and I are having a hard time connecting with our friends, because they never want to do anything or go anywhere. Even free/cheap events, they just want to stay home. Which is fine… I love just hanging out/talking/laughing but it’s nice to get outside and interact with people.

Post # 8
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@elliptical2013:  Before I relocated most of my friends were hard to get together with. Even now it’s like pulling teeth to have a phone convo to catch up. My best friend promised she would call me back last Friday and over a week later I still haven’t heard from her. 

Post # 9
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

We usually have something going on every weekend. We have a couple we spend a lot of time with, we usually trade off on weekends. All my other friends are 1,200 miles away.

Post # 10
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s become more difficult now that we got married, but oh well 🙁

Post # 11
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

It depends on the friend. Some I see every week, while others have crazy work schedules so it’s more like once every two months or so.

sometimes people just naturally grow apart as they get older (I often find myself saying if I met X now versus in high school/college/etc we wouldn’t be friends). I would talk to your friend and make sure there were no misunderstandings or hurt feelings, but if nothing changes then maybe it’s time to let go of the friendship 

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