Post # 1
So this is a long complicated story that I will give the short version of: I got engaged a year and a half ago and right now I am half a year to my wedding. When I got engaged, I asked all my maids. One of them lives on the other side of the world from me. I did not realize how compicated this would get. In hindsight, maybe I was idealistic to ask someone on the other side of the world to be in my wedding party, I’m not sure.
Since I asked this BM, she accepted, and she decided to drop out of the wedding once, which I respected. Then she decided she could be in the wedding again, which was very exciting. Now she is contemplating dropping out again due to a couple crises she has had. I totally respect and understand that and I have let her know that I support her in wherever she needs to be right now in her life. She told me a month ago and I asked her to let me know by the end of the month what her plans were. I did this because bridesmaids are ordering dresses (the rest of my bridesmaids have actually ordered now) and I’m getting to booking flowers, hair and make-up, and other things where you need to know how many BMs there are.
We are getting to the end of the month. I only talk to her through facebook and email (her webcam broke so we haven’t been able to skype). How could I bring it up with her again? I feel kind of emotional about it so I’m afraid I’ll slip up. Besides, communicating via internet is socially tricky and not something I’d choose to do for such an emotionally charged situation. What do you think I could say to her/ask her?
Post # 3
@nawella: Hmm I totally understand your concerns. You seem like you are being very understanding about it, so that should take a lot of the pressure of the situation. You WANT her there, but you seem like you will be OK if she drops out.
I would probably send it over an email and just be as sincere and understanding as you can be. Let her know that either way your friendship will not be affected. Tell her you really want her there, but you understand some things have come up in her life etc. I would start it off like hey just wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing.
Post # 4
@leisha606: Thanks so much! That really helps! 🙂
Post # 4
I would just email her and ask. You both know whats going on an dyou both talked about when you need to know whats up, fair for you to ask! Good luck!
Post # 5
I know her webcam is broken, but you can voice chat over Skype, which may make things easier.
I would explain that you’re having do get your final numbers together and you need to know if she can be your bridesmaid.
Post # 6
I would be like hey hun OMG its 6 months before the wedding… I cant believe it. Im starting to get over whelmed with flowers and BM dresses and appointments etc. sigh. How are you? Have you figure out whether you will be able to come to the wedding? The girls just ordered their dresses… There is a turn around time of x. I also have to nail down the beauticians soon. I would love nothing more than you to be there!!! Let me know by XYZ date if you will. If you are unable to get me the info or your dress in time no worries. I just want you to be at my big day and I’m sure we can incorporate you elsewhere! toodles. xoxo