Post # 1
I want to be able to gather information for our single guest so that I may include their +1/guest on thier invite. Is it normal to find this information out in advance and do people ask their guests this info? I haven’t been able to find much on the asking in advance of the invite aspect in my search. My reasons for asking would be:
1. To be able to have a better idea and control of guest numbers <br />2. To be able to invite that person by name rather than and guest. The rsvp card will have the names prefilled and specifically say “we have reserved __ seats in honor of:” and then list the names with check boxes for accepts and declines next to each name. The rsvp card is being made in black with limited blank ivory blocks for us to write names/for guest to accept or decline. We want to extend plus ones so that single guest may be comfortable (to an extent, as we would like to discourage people from taking advantage of the invite). We rather not leave that second slot blank for them to write in anything, as that opens up the “Just because I can I’ll invite my cat if I want to regardless if you like/have even met my cat or if even other cats are being invited/I feel like Im entitled to so I deserve this/ I shall tell you what YOU need to do for me in regards to YOUR wedding mentality”.
Whats the best way to present the inquiry of plus one info to our single guest?
Post # 2
How many single guests are you inviting? And how close are you to them?
Post # 3
We have a total of 14 single guest. Some friends and some family. Everybody else is married. I would say we are pretty close to the majority of the 14.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium
Since you’re close can you just ask if there is something they would like to bring and if so what is their name?
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I would think that if you’re close enough to them that you’d have some idea if/who they’re dating? no?
I don’t even talk to my cousin on a regular basis but I am friends with her on facebook and I ususally know if she’s dating someone serious. My guest list is tight, so I really don’t have any “and guest”. If I dont know of or haven’t met the guest, they’re not coming. This is really only an issue with a few cousins, 2 of which are still high school age so I don’t really think they need a date.
Post # 6
We gave everyone who wasn’t dating anyone (so, really… single), a plus one. When they RSVP’d and only indicated that they wanted one meal, we knew it would just be them. If they RSVP’d for 2, then we knew they would have someone with them.
Our RVPS’s also stated “We have resvered ___ seats in your honor”, so that indicated 2 so they knew they could invite someone. It was also addressed to them that way too. “Name and Guest”.
If you don’t know, I’d ask!
Post # 7
Yes! Ask! I’ve seen it on the boards (I am by no means an etiquette expert) and this is the difference with naming the guest and just adding “guest” to their invite:
a. if you write John and Sally on the invitation and for whatever reason Sally can’t come, then John cannot simply substitute her for Mary wo talking to you first. Then YOU get to make the call whether to allow this or to grab someone from your hidden B list and say ok long lost cousin Abby can now come because the numbers allow it.
B. If you write John and guest on their invite then they can ask Sally and if she’s busy or whatever that day then he can ask his friend Bob or Mary or whomever without running it by you and your long lost cousin Abby stays in the B list.
So it’s up to you if you truly mean bring whomever you want (“guest”) or bring a particular date “and Sally.”
Post # 8
You can phone or email to ask for the name and address of anyone special that your friends or relatives are dating. Then send a separate invitation in the name of that person to their address, or one invitation if they are living together.
I dislike the “seats reserved in your honor” language since it implies either your guests can’t read an invitation or you don’t trust them to reply appropriately.
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s offensive to just ask. You have a legitimate reason to ask for the invitations. What if they do mention an unsavory character that they want to bring as +1 though?
Post # 10
You can call/email/text and ask, “Are you dating anyone you would like us to invite?”