- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
I added this up as we were making a guest list, I have exactly 8 friends (which is more than I’ve had most of my life, because I now have past friends and college friends). My Fiance already knows who he wants- 2 of his best friends as his best men, so I feel like I should have 2 bridesmaids also. I have a group of 3 friends who I consider “my best friends” though it’s not the same as like when I had BFFs in high school and we were obsessed with each other and all that. 2 are girls (we’ll call them R and M) and one is a guy (E). So the easiest thing would seem to be having R and M as my 2 bridesmaids, but R doesn’t like my FI! She said she thinks he’s a good person and doesn’t disaprove of me dating him, but is just annoyed by every thing he says and wouldn’t be friends with him of her own accord. Which I can deal with, I get that not everyone is compatible and she’s kind of picky about people, but I feel like she won’t want to be involved in planning an event that’s all about him. But she’s also very insecure and I think would feel rejected if I didn’t ask her. Also, I feel like I’m slightly closer with E than R & M (although he also gets on my nerves the most) so maybe he should be in my bridal party instead. (currently E and M aren’t getting along but I’m hoping that’s resolved before long) But while I’m not opposed to having a non-female bridal party, it opens up another sensitive issue regarding my friend T.
T was my best friend for all of grade school, but from high school on we’ve just been less close. Obviously being best friends since we were little girls we assumed we’d be each other’s bridesmaids if we ever got married. When I was engaged the first time, I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. However, T has recently had some major life changes, has recently come out as transgender and is living as a man. I’m totally supportive of him and have no problems with this. however, I don’t know if the assumption we’ll be in each other’s wedding parties still stands. It’s not an issue if I’m having all girls, he won’t expect to be included if I’m following that tradition. But if I’m having one man already (E) I think T should be my other bridal party member, being my oldest friend and all.
If you were in my situation, who would you want to chose? I’d really just rather not have a bridal party at all, but I want to do whatever Fiance does and he’s clearly made up his mind.