- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2015
I cannot believe I am writing this, or that this has happened, but I am seriously considering dropping a bridesmaid and uninviting her from the wedding in April next year. It’s been nasty comment and an attitude since day 1. When I asked her to be a bridesmaid she got quite excited. Turns out that was the best it was going to get! I think it’s easier if I do this in points:
– One of the first things she said with a tone and humpf (within a couple of months of me getting engaged) was – “Oh I don’t have to go to the Wedding Breakfast do I?” And she rolled her eyes.
– My MOH (who is the most amazing person ever!) organised a brilliant joint stag/hen do. She asked around other members of the bridal party for ideas and games to play etc. The day before our party (after being organised for months) said bridesmaid said she could only come in the evening for a little while, because she had to play hockey. It gets worse. She told another friend of ours that she knew that she would have to play a couple of months prior to this, but still didnt mention it to me. It’s infuriating as I said to people that we can move the date around to make sure everyone can come, and this date was apparently the best one to suit her. When she did arrive, we were back from day escapades and playing games back at our house, which my MOH put a hell of a lot of effort into. During a Mr and Mrs quiz, I looked across at my bridesmaid and she had her legs crossed, arms tightly folded and scowling at my MOH. My MOH is THE easiest person to get along with. She’s lovely!
– Since this, she has said to another friend that I am being “off” with her, despite the fact that I had gone out of my way to make conversation and be nice.
– We worked at the same place for 2/3 years together, but she recently left. She has come back in to chat to a couple of other people that work here but I had no idea until they told me! This has happened twice now. And i’m wondering why she’s ignoring me.
– When discussing in a group message about hairstyles etc, my other bridesmaid and MOH said they’d love to get their hair done at the hotel with me, and that lifted me because I thought we would get those “getting ready” photos that look so special with your closest friends. When the other bridesmaid replied she said ” I will be doing my own hair, as I only let one hairdresser touch my hair. I am meeting with her this week to discuss wedding styles actually.” This was the first I had heard of it! From the beginning I said that we should all get together at some point (one bridesmaid lives 3 hours away so its limited) and the BMs can try on dresses and we can talk about make up and hairstyles. We organised something, and she flaked out. Again.
I’m sick of trying, and am dreading the wedding day with her being around. She is generally a “look at me” person, and I regret asking her now. But this is making me incredibly upset, and is something I can do without.
How to I drop her as a BM and uninvite her to the wedding?