- Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
I agree – find a place that’s yours! Eventually, you won’t need it, but at first, it’s really necessary. Before I realized that our dining room was entirely furnished with my stuff (ha!), I used to find myself hiding out in my SUV. Pathetic, but I felt better in there, especially if we’d had a fight.
Now, 18 months after we moved in together, I don’t need to be in "my" room anymore, and I’ve even shared my bookshelves and office (a big step!).
Also, I have this theory. I call it the "fishbowl" theory. I used to have semi-aggressive fish in my tank, and they’d been together so long they’d kill newcomers, even aggressive fish. So, every time I wanted to introduce someone new, I’d rearrange their entire tank. Now the regulars had to fight for new hiding spaces with the newbies, and nobody died.
I think, on a much less aggressive scale, this happens in houses, too – especially if you’re kind of territorial, like me! (not that you are) So, pick a room that’s important to you, maybe the kitchen, and take everything out and put it in boxes (or even just another room). All of it. Then, together, unpack. Suddenly, you’re talking about whether or not trash bags should go under the sink, or the coffee maker near the stove or the fridge, or glasses near the plates… and voila! You’re working as a team, and the finished space is jointly owned. Granted, it might break out into a fight (did I ever tell you about the time we got into a HUGE fight over whether clothes should be on hangers or not? No? Well, that was a fun one), but you can start small if that’s a risk.
Good luck! It will get easier.