Post # 1
We have a little over a month until the wedding. Umm…we’ve known about this wedding for 1.5 years!!! I ask FI at least two times a week when he’s going to buy his attire. He won’t be wearing anything fancy so all the has to do is buy new Chucks, a dress shirt, tie and pants! The only reason he has a vest is bc I bought it! I think he needs a smaller size but two weeks later, he still hasn’t gone to the store and tried it on though 1. He says everyday he is going to and 2…..he works across the street!!!!
I am so frustrated and will be super embarrassed if he shows up to the wedding in whatever he can find. He doesn’t even have clothes for the honeymoon! I’ve spent about 80% on the wedding and don’t feel I should have to buy his clothes also. He is a grown man! What should I do or say since everything I’ve said doesn’t seem to phase him? His behavior is very hurtful and sadly, he’s like this with everything else. If I want anything done I have to pay for it and/or do it myself. I am putting my foot down on this one. I was a big girl and went and picked out and bought my own dress! He should be able to do the same!
Post # 2
Does he need a custom size for anything? You can just walk into most men’s stores and pick up all of those items – at most you’ll have to wait for the pants to be hemmed, but that can often be done while you wait.
He’s obviously going to come dressed to the wedding, right? Why can’t you trust him to do this on his own timeframe?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Right now I’m trying to remember if there’s anything in DH’s closet not bought by me….*thinking really hard*…no, there’s nothing. I’ve been buying his clothes forever, with his, mine, our money. He just loathes clothes shopping. Maybe your FI is like that. I would suggest you drag him into a store and get over with it.
Post # 4
Are funds the issue or is he just being lazy? If it’s the former, maybe instead of him buying it maybe he should just go rent a tux. My husband did and it was a really nice one that looked great on him!
Post # 5
Whenever I needed DH to do something for the wedding, I gave him a date. “I need you to do xyz or make a decision on abc by this exact date.” That way I could keep the ball rolling.
You say he’s like this with everyone, so don’t expect him to magically change during the wedding planning nor after. You’ll have to learn to live with it and trust him to do things on his own time or else learn to work around it.
Post # 6
Perhaps he’s changed his mind about the outfit, and isn’t sure how to tell you he wants to change it? Or, as PP said, just wait and see what happens. The worst case is that he’ll wear something else.
I bought two elements of my outfit the morning of the wedding – though, they are not ones that feature prominently. They were things I knew I could get at Hudson’s Bay, across the street from my hotel.
Post # 7
Does he actually want to get married?
Post # 8
MOHlookingForIdeas: No, nothing custom. Just off the rack dress pants and a collard shirt and tie. He’ll come dressed in SOMETHING! But I’d prefer it to be something decent as I spent money on a photographer and would like nice pix! If we are just showing up in whatever, I would have just bought a cheap dress not a pretty, expensive wedding gown! (We are eloping, fyi)
Robyn0214: FI looves clothes and shopping. He picked out my E-pics outfit! So, I don’t know why he’s dragging his feet!
Post # 9
This is the way he is. You are not going to change him, and he is not going to change for the wedding.
What are you doing after work today? Or on the weekend?
Take him shopping.
Post # 9
I think you should just go with him. This is why we just rented a tux with shoes included. Even his dad rented it.
Post # 11
He’s a grown ass man. Tell him to get in there before the wedding and buy his stuff, and tell him you won’t remind him again. If he doesn’t, it’s on him to own it. You don’t need to be his mom and bug him about it.
Post # 12
JazzyGirl85: First of all, I find it odd that you will be married in about a month and you still consider your money separate for all intents and purposes. That seems weird to me.
But about the clothes, if all else fails get his mother involved. That’s what I did. She lit a fire under her son’s ass and before I knew it he had everything he needed.
Post # 13
why don’t you make a date with him and pick out his wedding attire together. then you know he got it and we choose it together.
Post # 14
Duncan: sadly, he doesn’t have an outfit so there’s nothing for him to change his mind about. Lol
SunflowerGarden: prob both. He’s pretty bad with saving.
Steampunkbride: he bought me some supplies yesterday to finish up my bouquet so it seems like he’s still excited for the wedding!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
I would just say “look, we’re going to the store tomorrow to get your wedding outfit and that’s it” and be done with it. Otherwise, it seems like he will continue to drag his feet. Maybe you should ask him specifically why he won’t get it, because we here can’t answer for him.