How do I get my fiance to "get permission"?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Quarrie:  If he’s already your fiance, then isn’t it a bit late to be “asking for your hand in marriage?” Since he already has permission, from you…

IDK. Honestly, I wouldn’t bother if I was in your shoes but if it’s really important to you I would bring it up to your FI again and emphasis that it would mean a lot if he asked/talked to your grandfather.

Post # 5
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Quarrie:  Tell him that it is important to you… If he values things that are important to you then he will do it….

Post # 6
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Quarrie:  I think what you’re looking for is for your FI to formally ask your grandfather for his blessing. Hopefully if you phrase it to him like that, and emphasize again to him how important it is to you and why, he’ll do it.

Post # 7
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ask him to ask your grandfather for a blessing of your union.  It will probably be less awkward for him. Plus since you are already engaged it will make more sense too.  Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Quarrie:  DH didnt want to ask my Dad either. He is really shy and also didnt like the non-femenist meaning behind it (but I think that was just an excuse). I sympatized at how difficult it was for him to do this. But I also told him how I felt. This isnt about logic, it’s about feelings. So find out why he doesnt want to do it, then explain your feelings. Most guys who are in love, want to support their woman’s feelings. 

Post # 9
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee

Have you thought of visiting your grandfather with your fiance, then as others said your fiance can ask for his approval/blessing. It may be less awkward.

Post # 12
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Are you already engaged? If so, its kinda awkward for him to ask permission now. 

Maybe closer to the wedding your fiancé can ask your gpa for his blessing instead?

Post # 13
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Quarrie:  how long have you been engaged for?  

If it’s been a significant amount of time and your grandparents are already aware, it seems a bit silly to me – almost like you want FI to go through the motions because you know that’s what some people do.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Quarrie:  So no one- including your grandparents, who you are very close with- knows you’re engaged?  Is there a reason you’re hiding the happy news?

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