Post # 1
We have been married for 8 years now. Since we have goten married, over the years, my husband doesn’t take me out as much. Hardly at all. His idea of going out is to the local restaruants occassionaly and then to our local sport bar, where it gets crowded with sports fans during the games. I would sit there and have a drink, but he would be off helping the bar with collecting used cans and bottles and glasses from the tables (he used to work there) to get a free beer. I have stopped going on these days since I just get bored.
When I ask my husband to go to the movies he says he doesn’t want to go. My husband gets stubborn, and used to his routine. It is unpredictable and there are no surprises for him. Since this is Thanksgiving weekend, most of my friends are away, or busy with their kids. We stayed in town as well. I deserve to have some fun with him, to take me out. I don’t want us to spend a lot of money, since we cannot afford it. It would be nice if he would come up with something to do. He used to do that all the time. Now it’s go to the same places to eat and the bar. I am bored. I need help! How do I get my husband to take me out to someplace new? I have made suggestions, which usually get shot down. He has to have a day or two to “think about it.” Help!
Post # 3
@FogCityJen: I know you said that he doesn’t respond well to being invited to movies, but what if you took him out for dinner or something? Maybe enjoying outings would encourage him to plan them more. I subscribe to groupon and living social and find lots of discounts and new reasturants to try. Beware and read reviews, but it can definitely be a good way to try new places. Good luck!
Post # 4
@FogCityJen: Have you told him directly you are bored and how important making an effort is to any marriage? I don’t understand when a partner just ignores a reasonable request by the other. Have you tried going out to have fun without him more often? Do you think he’d eventually want to try something new and join you? Do you live in SF? There is tons to do here. It seems a waste of living here (and the high cost of rent) if he’s going to go to the same bar every time. That would drive me bonkers. I’ve long ago learned to be ok with planning 95% of our outings, but at least DH is usually happy to go along for the ride!
Post # 5
I was having this problem, and we haven’t been together nearly as long.
I imposed date night. And started inviting him to go on dates with me. I explained that he works like a crazy person, I miss him and sometimes I just need to go out and do new things, just like sometimes he needs to stay home all day and watch football. I said “Can I please please please take you out?” The first time, I packed a picnic and we went to have a bonfire in a fire pit and a public park. Another time I took him to a restaurant I wanted to try. I played the guy role and organized it all, drove and paid. After a few dates, he invited me tobogganing and this week asked me to go to a talk at the our city art gallery!!! Its awesome, and he got the hint without me forcing it on him. We’ll see if it lasts.
Post # 6
@bella128: That’s great! As soon as I feel well enough to go again (recovering from surgery), I think I’ll push for more outings together myself. We’re both feeling a bit restless. His solution is to move across the world, which could be amazing, but in the meantime, I’m more focused on more frequent mini adventures that aren’t a massive upheaval.
Post # 7
What kind of suggestions has he shot down? Maybe tell him you want to go on a romantic date with him. That doesn’t have to cost much – or anything. If he defaults to the local restaurant and sports bar, tell him you’d like a more intimate setting. If he is on the fence about it, you can plan the first one. When he sees it’s more fun than his daily routine, he’ll probably want more. 😀