Post # 1
So, in a nut shell, our TTC plans have just been put on hold indefinately, due to my job situation. I’m on contract with the govt, and I’m getting small extensions, 3 months, maybe 6 months, but nothing that would support a pregnancy and leave me with a position to return to. Without being bilingual, and in this current economy, permanent jobs or even long term contracts are nearly impossible to find. I’ve been looking outsie the govt as well, but I’ve only had 1 interview in the last year, so that’s not very promising either.
We looked at me just not working after a baby, but short of making serious life changes, and asking Darling Husband to give up absolutely everything he does outside the house, we can’t live on his salary alone.
So, what now? I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. How am I supposed to just put this away and move forward, and be happy doing it.
Post # 3
I’m not sure how old you are but things can change quickly and the economy will turn around. Maybe you can’t TTC now but it might be possible in a year or two. Don’t give up hope!
Post # 4
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Thanks. I’m 30. So I’ve got some time, but not alot.
Post # 5
So sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you two can save enough money to hold you over once you have a baby. I dont know if you will ever get over not having a baby when you really want one. I would hate for you to regret having children for the rest of your life.
Post # 6
Sigh, thanks for chiming in girls. I’m just so sad. I feel, empty because this just doesn’t seem like it’ll be a possibility in our near future. Darling Husband tries to be helpful, but it’s just not the same. It’s so frustrating that this is something I want so badly and it’s just completely out of my control 🙁
Post # 7
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know you feel like you don’t have a lot of time, but please don’t lose hope yet! There are several women in my life who for one reason or another waited until their mid-late 30s to have kids. I know that the longer you wait, the greater potential there is for complications, but don’t let that make you feel like you can’t do it. Try to focus on getting your family (you and your husband) stable for now, and then you can concentrate on expanding your family. 🙂
Post # 8
@anotherbee: I’m in the same boat. Until one of our job situations changes dramatically, we can’t TTC or buy a house.
Right now, we are really trying to do things that make us happy and that will be more difficult to do when we have kids. Little trips here and there, backpacking, staying up late and sleeping in (lol), eating take-out and drinking wine in bed, just silly stuff. But really focusing on just being together and having fun together. I am also spending some extra time at work, to try to get promoted so we can set the TTC wheels in motion!
Sometimes I get down about it, but I try to remember that being down about it won’t fix things at all. But, working hard, saving money and trying to get ahead will. And we got a cat, which sounds silly, but it really does help.
Plus, someday, those kids will fly the coop, so Darling Husband and I do need to learn to be happy and have fun just us 🙂
Post # 9
And sometimes I feel like we will be stuck forever and that nothing will really change in 2-3 years. Then, I remember that Darling Husband and I met, got engaged, married and both switched jobs once (twice for DH!) in the last two years! A lot can happen really quickly!
Chin-up and hugs!
Post # 10
I know how you feel. Our timeline for starting to TTC is tentatively set for later this year, but I’m jobless at the moment and trying to find work. I feel like if I don’t find something, then we’re going to need to hold off. It’s double the frustration – can’t get a job, and can’t start making a baby. I’m also about 30, so like you, I am getting closer to the time when things could get tricky.
I wish I had some great advice for you. But the good thing is, you’re being and adult and being responsible, and not just saying “Oh, f- it, let’s try to have a baby anyway when we can’t really afford it.”
Post # 11
Thank you for the response ladies. Some of the inital sting has gone away, but I’m still pretty upset about it. I know that having kids a little later in life isn’t that big of a deal, but it’s important to me because that’s what my parents did, and I ended up not having a great relationship with them because of the generation gap.
I’m also concerned with how long it will take to get preggers. I’m afraid that if we have to hold off for 2 years, and it takes us a year to get preggers, I’ll be almost 34 with my first, and i’d like to have 3 years between the kiddos (thankfully, we’re done after two).
It jsut sucks.
Here’s my silver lining: I don’t have to be responsible by paying off my student loan by Dec (condition we set for ourselves to buy house/have baby next year), so I’m going to talk to Darling Husband about using some tax return money on a trip down south that we were skipping this year.