- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
So, I’ll be very very honest here. I have been in two ‘real’ relationships before I met my finance the first, we were together for five years nearly engaged and I found out he cheated on me and I just couldn’t turn back at that point. The second relationship I found myself in he also ended up cheating and lieing about it, and so I left because he could never actually admit that he did it/or come to terms with it. Lastly, when I was 17 my mother confided in me that she was having an affair (even thoguh she was still married to my father) and I’m not sure if I have ever forgiven her for having me carry this burden for months and months until I finally exploded and told my father. That being said, fast forward years later….and I met this wonderful man who has the best intentions and truly loves me. I know no one is perfect and he’s far from perfect. Back in Novemeber his ex girlfriend emailed him from Russia asking him to buy her a pen and that she would pay him back. (She had a history of this type of thing with him before we met as well). Then he was going to send her flowers on her birthday just wishing her well on her birthday but, decided not to. We sorted through all this and worked through everything and he’s decided not to speak/email with her email as we both know it can bring any good to the relationship. My problem is because of everything thats compounded in my past I can’t help but snoop at the computer/phone/email sometimes because I’m afraid what has happened to me in the past, will happen again? Deep down I don’t believe my FI would ever cheat on me but, theres this little part of me that is driving me crazy playing Ms.Dective. How do I move past my trust issues and embrace the man I love for who he is and not what my past relationships were?