Weddingbee boards

Some of you know this and some of you don't - Loverboy (as I affectionately call him) and I are engaged. He asked me to marry him and all that good stuff. But it's just impossible to get a ring right now. We're broke and it ain't no joke, yo. Planning a wedding in full force isn't entirely possible either.

But ehre's the kicker: One of his friends got married this past May. And the last night we went to said friend's house so the boys could play poker and I guess the plan was that the girls would do, uh, girl things(what did they expect us to do, paint our nails?!?!?! we watched the Yankees game).

We get there and another one of Loverboy's friends and his girlfriend were there, too. So at this point it was friend # 1, friend #1's wife, friend #2 and friend #2's girlfriend, plus the two of us. Cool, right?

Yeah, right up until friend #2's girlfriend just can't hold herself together and tells us that they're engaged and is talking about wedding planning (which I obviously know nothing about ...) with friend #1's wife. And anytime I chimed in I got a "what the heck do you know" look. I mention weddingbee - and friend #1's girlfriend says "Oh, no, I used The Knot - you'll love The Knot ... blah blah blah" and The Knot's cool, it is, but like HELLO! *waving hands* Loverboy and I have been talking wedding for quite some time now. I may not have a darn ring but it doesn't mean it's any less serious or meaningful!!

Friend #2's girlfriend-magically-turned-fiance seems really cool - and I really hope she checks out Weddingbee because I think she'd be a perfect fit here (she has great ideas for her wedding for doing so little planning and some pretty different ones at that as well as tons of DIY stuff). But it just annoyed me that I was treated like I didn't know a darn thing.

So I ask this: How do I get people to take our engagement seriously without a ring? I'm just sick of the stupid looks from people and the way people brush me off when weddings/marriage come up!

Is there anyway you could get a cheap ring (like a $20 one) if that's what you think is making people not take you seriously?  I don't think you HAVE to have a ring when you're engaged, it's a personal thing between the two of you.

I understand how frustrating this must be! Some people in our are can be so set in their ways and not adjust to change very well...I'm sure you know what I mean. An ex of mine's mother actually never had an e-ring but an e-gift and I agree with other bee's that a ring is not needed for an engagement it's just a formality and the norm that people use to consider an engagement an engagement...but really it is what is between you and your FH that matters!!!

I do think that if you believe it is the ring that is making people not take you seriously then you could get a cheap ring of some sort if you think that will help. There are plenty of local artisans downtown that I'm sure you would be able to find something worthy enough for your left hand :)

Do you have any ideas of the types of things you want for your wedding? Brainstorming and knowning where/when you would like your wedding to take place might just be enough for people to take you seriously that you are "actively" planning your wedding without breaking the bank...it would at least give you some experience to add to the converstation when around your friends.

I hope people start to take you as you want them to, but just remember that if you and your FH believe you are engaged then that is all that matters...who cares what others really think? It's your life and your engagement anyway...not theirs!

How did you announce your engagement?  Could there be some misunderstanding around that?  I'd think when you announced your engagement people would have started taking you seriously.  

If not, perhaps it is the lack of a ring. Could you wear a ring you already have?  That would take care of the ring part.  

Thanks for your opinions, ladies! It just really irked me - I wrote the post in such a rush because I was just so annoyed. And I don't think everything came through clearly - we're making plans. Oh, we are. We have a date in mind (May 14 2011) and are hashing out details a little at a time. It's nice ... because I feel like I have a fair amount of time to gather silly things I need/complete any DIY projects that I'm planning on doing and just to really work on this thing. I'm excited to get married. I could care less about the ring. Would it be nice to have a little bling on my finger? Heck yeah! But I don't really care that much - because I love him and he loves me. And that's all that matters. But some people are superficial to the max.

A few days ago my family and I were cleaning out my grandmother's house and I found the cheapest set of rings ever. I'm toying with the idea of wearing that just to shut people up. And see what they say when they get closer than 10 feet away and realize how cheap it is!! Or, I do like your idea @surkim!! That ring is so much fun.

@lilyfaith - That's exactly the reaction I get. Like my head's in the clouds, I'm just dreaming of my ideal wedding and blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I just want to tell people to shove it.

I'm not sure if it's the ring issue that is keeping people from taking us seriously - though I have a pretty good guess that it is. We all know that the marriage is more important than the ring or the wedding but unfortunately some people just can't get past that stuff. It's just frustrated. I do appreciate having the hive here to vent to when I get frustrated - thanks for listening and responding ladies. I was just going crazy!

@carrie.a.s.b - That's exactly where we are - we talk about it and we are planning and just because I don't have a ring it doesn't count for anything. Seriously. Who do people think they are these days? Grar.

Haha. I'm thinking 50 cent bubble gum style ring may just be the way for us to go. I have a fake one for Halloween as it is ... haha .... maybe I'll just start wearing it year-round!

And you're right - some people don't think before they speak!

Haha - yeah yeah, thanks krissycake ... I don't call him loverboy all the time - it's really mostly on here and occasionally to his face.

I second the overstock.com ones! Can you find a ring "fake" for the one you want to get?

I totally feel your pain. FI and I have been engaged for quite a while, but I just got my ring a few weeks ago. I mean we were engaged before some of my friends who are now married, were even DATING. But noone took it seriously until now. I actually just had a coworker in my office like 10 mins. ago who hadn't seen me since I got the ring, telling me congrats on getting engaged. agh!! I don't think there's much you can do to change it though, unfortunately.

I'll be talking to him about this soon ... I could give him a reall awful name one here. Or just use his first and middle like I used mine for my uber creative screenname.

You're right, dude, people are so freaking negative. It gets me down sometimes. I've started to be happier about this. He's my fiance, my boyfriend, my one, whatever! I love him and for soem crazy freaking reason he loves me  so that's that! And yeah, I'm planning a wedding. Boo-yah! Haha

@hotchildinthecity - HotTeacherintheCity is cute! I like it - I don't know why I bother with a codename for him though ... I don't even really use one for myself. I started that when I started blogging a while ago ... and I think for some reason it stuck. I get sick of typing Loverboy sometimes though.

Haha. It's set. He's Cameronwade from now on ... or Cam or whatever the heck I wanna call him. Butthead when I'm mad at him!