Post # 1
Oh, bees. I need advice. As soon as FI and I got engaged & set a date, I called and asked all my bridesmaids. Would-be MOH didn’t answer, so I left her a voicemail.
Backstory on would-be MOH: We have been best friends since pre-school, I was her MOH, and I did a bang-up job of it if I do say so myself! She and her husband moved several states away, so we don’t get to hang out constantly like we used to, but we did talk on the phone every couple of weeks and visit every time she came to town.
Would-be MOH never returned my phone call, but messaged me on Facebook. We messaged back and forth for several days, she talked about how happy she was for us, so on and so forth. I asked her if she’d be my MOH, but that I completely understood if they couldn’t make it because of our date being close to Christmas/travel expenses/time off work/etc.
She just stopped replying at that point! I know she’s busy so I cut her some slack (about 3 weeks worth!) and emailed her again, and called again. Just asked nicely if she’d gotten my message. No reply, although she had obviously been on Facebook. From her phone.
What do I do from here?! I feel like its really crappy that she can’t even give me a response. For her wedding I did her flowers, did her makeup, threw her a huge bridal shower, threw her bachelorette party, and did the calligraphy for all her invitations. All I wanted is a damn response! All I was asking is that she would stand up there with me – nothing else – and that I was completely fine if they couldn’t make it. I am completely in tears again just writing this
Post # 3
That’s awful 🙁
I would suggest waiting til you are actually able to get a hold of her before judging/making decisions about her in your bridal party. Perhaps she’s just not okay with travelling that far and wants to wait to talk to you on the phone to let you know her situation.
But still…3 weeks is a long time. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Post # 4
The thing about getting a hold of her is that she’s completely avoiding it – won’t write me back on Facebook, won’t return my phone calls. I wouldn’t have been mad if she had just said no, or said that she wasn’t sure. All the while she’s posting away on Facebook, so I know she’s seen my messages and noticed my missed calls!
Post # 5
I think its really rude of her to just not respond at all, if she doesn’t want to, she could at least say so!! I would just write her a message that since she hasn’t replied, you are going to assume she doesn’t want to be your MOH
Post # 6
Agree with PP. Write her a message letting her know how you feel. Tell her that if you don’t hear back within x days, then you will have to assume she’d rather not be a part of your wedding, and you are hurt that she won’t tell you this herself.
Post # 7
What is her problem?! Wow, I had a few “friends” that weren’t responding to me during the rsvp process. Later to find out that they couldn’t go. Perhaps she just cant go and feels bad… not that I’m excusing what she’s doing at all! I wouldn’t count on her to step up and be your MOH. That’s totally a rude thing to do and she needs to get her act together.
If I were you I’d FB message her or call her and leave a message, and just say something along the lines that it seems like she’s really busy and you don’t want to inconvience her at all and understand that she might not be able to do it. Then go ahead and pick someone who will actually be there for you.
I’ll never understand why people are so rude. I’m sorry hun!
Post # 8
I couldn’t help myself and emailed her and told her that I guess her non-answer is my answer. Awesome that she let me bend over backwards and be cash-strapped my junior year of college to make sure her wedding and the planning process were amazing… and she can’t even send me a freakin email.
Post # 9
@bummedoutbee: This sucks. I’m sorry.
Post # 10
im so sorry to hear that you are having this issue. depending on how close you are with her husband maybe send him a message/ call him and ask him to pass her the message to get into contact with you. try to be vague it may prompt her to give you a call ro message you back so you can finally get an answer. if she still doesnt them just move on because she is obviously not worth the continual effort and time