How do I handle inviting coworkers to the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Lrroma181986:  just say it’s family only. I was considering inviting my coworkers but it would add at least 20 people and its at least an hour or more from most of them so I’m not inviting  any now. I would only invite your direct boss, unless it’s a family member, then they’d already be invited.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Uff. I think it really is all or nothing! Mostly because your parents own the company, and it cause some serious favoritism issues if some people are invited but not others!

Post # 5
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lrroma181986:  How many would you like to invite? I think if you’re only inviting a few it’s ok, because any uninvited worker should realise lots of their co-workers aren’t invited too. Especially since there’s such a good reason (that you’ve known some of them for so long). It only gets awkward when you invite most and exclude a few.

Post # 7
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When inviting people in tricky situations like this, I think you should invite “sets” of people (that may not be the best term, but let me explain!). You could invite the people in your section of the office, your department, or only the people you see outside of work. Whichever set of people you choose to invite, if you invite one or two from a certain set, you should invite the entire set in order to avoid hurt feelings.

Sort fo the same concept as “we invited only kids over 13” or “we invited all of our first cousins”. Obviously it isn’t all cut and dry, but it’s a helpful guideline.

Post # 8
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lrroma181986:  Personally I think 5 is fine, especially if they’re the 5 who have been there the longest.

Post # 10
Member
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it’s necessary all or nothing. For example, I work on a team of 12 but I only invited about 5. I invited all the managers and one person who’s my age and is the only one in the office on my FB. I think if there’s a clear distinction as to who is invited, then it’s fine. As another example, my friend is an attorney and her assistant only invited the managing partners and the attorneys. She didn’t invite the paralegals or the other assistants.

Post # 11
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@Lrroma181986:  I work with about 15 people. My MOH is a coworker, so she doesn’t count, but i invited only 3 coworkers (2 are a couple).  I could justify it by saying that 1 had known since I started here 6 years ago, and the couple is my boss.

The one who I did invite has been asking about the wedding all year, and asking if I was going to invite everyone from the office (in front of others). I made it clear it was going to be a very small wedding, and gave him no indication that he would be invited (though I always intended to).  That way, i got the word out that it was a small affair, so I think the expectations were that they wouldn’t be invited.

This morning, I issued an informal invitation to another coworker and her partner, who has only been with us for a few months. I explained to her that in order to avoid hurt feelings, I did not invite many people from the office, but that if they are free, they should pop by (sans gift, and no need to RSVP). I like her a lot, and I work closely with her, but to formally invite her when I sent out the invitations would have seriously pissed off some people who I’ve worked with longer.

I think it can be done, but make the expectations clear, and be discrete about who is and isn’t invited.

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